


All I Want Is To Fly With You

by aw1214



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-14 10:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 56,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18050711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aw1214/pseuds/aw1214
Summary: Following the love story of Anne & Phillip from the very start.





	1. Chapter 1

Anne and W.D walked down the street, they headed for the nearest market place where they would attempt to steal themselves something to eat for the day.

Anne scrambled to keep up with W.D, he was particularly tense that day.

They had been sleeping in an alleyway behind a butchers. They pushed out the heavy metal dumpsters and lay huddled on the floor behind it.

The dumpster did a poor job of blocking the harsh bitter cold wind, Anne wrapped her dirty worn out grey shawl around them for warmth but they still shivered violently.

W.D gave Anne his hat to rest her head on as a poor substitute for a pillow.

Snow began to fall, a light layer of frost began to settle upon Anne's thin shawl, "I-I'm s-so c-cold D" she shivered.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to his chest, he lifted his shirt so she could place her hands on his stomach to try and take from whatever warmth he had. She couldn't feel her fingers.

"I know you are Anne, it'll be okay, just go to sleep we'll try and find somewhere warmer at dawn" he whispered.

He could feel her shake against him, she'd turned a pale blue colour. He worried she would catch hyperthermia, it had happened before. It had been difficult to warm her up but he begged all day on the streets for enough money to buy her a warm drink and he'd stolen a blanket for her, that blanket was long gone now. It had been stolen from them when they were sleeping one night.

They awoke to a large angry man pointing a sharp cleaver at them, he kicked W.D hard in the ribs jarring him awake "what are you two niggers doing behind my dumpster?" He screamed waving the cleaver threateningly.

Anne's eyes shot open, she grabbed her shawl as W.D hauled her quickly to her feet, "we're sorry Mister, we just needed somewhere to shelter us from the cold" W.D replied quickly grabbing his hat from the floor.

Anne shook the snow from their clothing and stood behind W.D as she shook in fear, "you dirty homeless bums! I ought to chop you up and serve your meat in my shop" He lunged forward his cleaver raised.

W.D pushed Anne out of the way and dived under his arm, "let's go! Run!" He yelled at Anne.

The cleaver flew past W.D's ear as they legged it out of the alleyway as fast as they could, the angry butcher's insults echoing off the walls.

He tried to chase after them but Anne and W.D were too fast for him.

They'd lived on the street for too long, ran from too many fights. They were quick and speedy, nobody could ever catch them when they attempted to chase after the two.

They didn't stop running until they entered an entirely different neighbourhood, they could not risk being followed.

Anne breathed hard as she tried to keep up with her older brother, "W.D... Can we- slow down?" She panted, jogging to keep up with his long, quick strides.

He looked over his shoulder, "we can't risk being followed, we might still be attacked by folks on the street, shawl on" he commanded.

The shawl had began to slip from Anne's shoulders in their haste, she pulled it up once again.

It was safest for them to show as little skin as possible, to hide their black skin as best as they could.

She grabbed his arm as she began to lag behind, "how much further?" She gasped.

He looked angrily ahead, scanning for potential threats, "not much longer I suspect, stay close" he barked.

When they turned the corner they saw a few food stands with bread, cheese, apples and pies.

W.D pulled Anne into the shadows cast by the walls, "right how are we going to do this?" Anne asked.

W.D glanced towards the stands, they hadn't been spotted yet, "pull your shawl over your head, don't let them see your skin, walk casually past and grab what you can, if you hear a shout or footsteps you run and I will find you. If you get away with it keep walking until you find a tree, stay there I will try and steal what I can after you do if the coast is clear" he whispered.

She pulled her hair back off her face, making it easier for her to fit the shawl onto her head, covering the most of her face. She could see very little, only from the mouth down and a few feet in front of her.

"Are you ready?" W.D asked, she nodded, he kissed the top of her head and hugged her quickly, "be safe, go" he faced her in the direction of the stalls.

She walked blindly forward, hiding her hands under the grey material, her lips and chin the only skin visible.

She walked as calm and casually as she could, though her heart raced as it did every time she stole for food.

She was so afraid she would be caught and beaten, she still had the scar for the last time she had been seen, a thin scar from where the belt buckle had cut her skin.

She could see the wooden stall up ahead, she raised her head ever so gradually. The vender had his back turned to her, he was talking to a woman Anne suspected was a prostitute.

Anne walked a little quicker, her hand shot out and she grabbed two apples before she walked briskly away.

She held the apples tightly to her chest, hidden by the shawl.

Her heart pounded painfully against her ribs as she walked forward, her ears searching for any sound suggesting she had not gotten away with it.

No sound followed so Anne raced down the street, she could see the tree W.D had told her about.

She hid behind the trunk lowering her shawl so it was wrapped around her shoulders once again and she could see the stalls once more.

She searched for W.D in the crowd of people, it was harder for him, all he had was his hat to hide his face. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets, only pulling them out at the last second to grab as much food as his arms could carry.

Anne spotted him, he lingered in the shadows across the street from where the stalls stood. She watched as he crept behind a large wealthy looking white man, he hid from the vendor's behind the back of the man.

At the last second he grabbed a loaf of bread and a wheel of cheese, "hey!" The vendor yelled having seen W.D, he tried to grab W.D's tattered waistcoat but he weaseled out of his grip.

The man ran around to the front of the stall pointing at W.D, "stop! Thief!" The man screamed, W.D locked eyes with Anne, the message clear. Run.

He shouldered people aside as everyone turned to look at W.D a few men tried to block his path but he dodged their hands or pushed through past them.

Anne turned and ran after W.D as he turned a corner, he could not reveal her location too.

Her eyes focussed on him as they ran through the people on the street, she was only a few feet behind him now, "keep running!" W.D yelled over his shoulder.

They were attracting too much attention, they needed to hide out somewhere, somewhere safe.

They cradled their treasure in their arms as they ran through New York, "the alleyway off 2nd!" Anne called as she recognised her surroundings.

A few minutes away there was a long alley they could hide in, it had fire escapes leading to other buildings and dumpsters they could hide behind.

They ducked into the alleyway only stopping when they were sure there was no footsteps following them.

Anne sunk to the floor clutching her chest as she gulped airfulls of stabbingly cold air, "are you okay?" W.D asked.

He sat next to her and tore the bread in half, "that was close" Anne panted.

W.D offered Anne half the bread loaf, she accepted it eagerky and tossed up the other apple, W.D caught it and took a big bite out.

"God, I'm hungry" he said through his mouthfull, "me too, it's been like 2 days since our last meal" she attacked the bread rarevnously.

W.D held his hand up, "wait, stop a sec" he said. Anne looked at him grumpily, "do I have to? This bread is so good, still warm" she protested.

He held his hand to her mouth, "shh shh, do you hear that?" He asked.

Anne swallowed her mouthful and listened, there was a faint hammering coming from the other side of the alley.

She looked at him, "what do you think? Should we check it out?" She asked.

He looked at the food before them, "we'll eat then have a look" he decided.

Once they had wolfed down their stolen goods they creeped along the alley until they reached the other side.

It opened up into a bright street, filled with shops and busy people.

They searched for the source of the hammering until they saw a middle aged looking man with two girls.

The man had brown uncut hair that fell nearly to his shoulders, he wore a smart dress shirt like the one W.D wore but it was cleaner and didn't have holes in it.

He had a dark waistcoat and tie, he was accompanied by two young girls. One with long blonde hair wearing a smart pink coat the other with long brown hair like the man's and she wore a smart red coat.

They hammered something to the notice board, it looked like a poster of some sorts.

"How's it looking girls?" The man asked, his voice was kind and rich.

The girls hammered in some sort of fast synchronised beat before they turned and smiled at him, "we're done daddy" the younger, blonde haired one said.

He knelt down in front of them, "awesome, come on let's go, there's more posters to put up around town girls" he said.

They grinned and took his hands as he lead them away.

Anne looked at W.D in confusion, "what's it say?" She asked.

He shrugged, they looked up and down the street making sure it was safe before they ran over to the notice board to read the poster.

W.D's eyes moved left to right as he read the poster, "wanted, unique persons and curiosities" he muttered under his breath.

Anne's eyes lit up, "daring acts, wonders of the world at Barnum's American Museum! D we should go!" She cried.

W.D lips moved silently as he read the poster again, he looked down at his sister, "I'm not sure Anne..." he said.

She shook his arm, "oh come on, it could be a chance to take up a paying job! We can do trapeze!" She begged.

He stroked his chin thoughtfully, "I don't know, remember what happened at the last circus we performed at?"

They had bounced around from circus to circus, they had performed trapeze together for years.

They were amazing but sooner or later they would always be kicked out for the colour of their skin, having a black brother and sister perform trapeze to the public was controversial and bad for business.

That or Anne and W.D had to escape, there had been a few instances when the ringmaster would lock Anne in his room, corner her and try to have her way with her. W.D had always managed to break down the door in time but there were moments that were just way too close for comfort.

Being a young attractive black girl was dangerous, the ringmasters would call her a black whore, assuming because she was a minority figure she would sleep with anyone for protection from the streets.

It was way too often men would try to slip their hands up her skirt when she was sleeping or promised they would give her a place to sleep if she gave them what they wanted.

The last circus they were at the ringmaster tried to rape Anne and got very violent when she said no. As big as her fear of white men was the man she had just seen it had been so long since she and W.D had slept inside or eaten a real meal.

Her ribs were beginning to show from the malnourishment and lack of food. The idea of food and money semed so warm and inviting to her.

"but think of the pay, we could have shelter and food, not to mention we'll be able to perform again, it's been forever since we've done trapeze" Anne pleaded.

W.D looked at the poster again, "it's on Broadway corner on Ann street, that's not too far from here..." he mused.

Anne shook his arm harder, "exactly! Come on, let's at least check it out, what's the worst that can happen? We get turned down, come on D, this could be good for us" she persisted.

He looked at the excited look on his sister's face, she hadn't looked this estatic since he'd managed to steal a whole roasted chicken.

"Fine, we will go and check it out, but don't get your hopes up, remember who we are. Nobody wants black kids performing on their stages, and tighten that shawl" he pulled her shawl around her shoulder's so she was better covered.

Anne kissed his cheek, "imagine if we had a real meal again" she sighed dreamily.

W.D ripped the poster off the wall, shoving it into his pocket and then they headed for Barnum's American Museum.


	2. The Audition

Anne and W.D stood outside the museum, it was so big and tall, it towered over the pair, "are you ready?" W.D asked.

Anne craned her neck as she looked at the entire building, she felt small and insignificant standing in front of it but she swallowed thickly and nodded.

There was a ticket booth with a short bearded man sitting behind the counter, W.D took Anne's hand and lead her over to it.

The man looked at them both with a bored look on his face.

W.D pulled out the poster showing it to him, "we're here to here to audition for the museum Sir" W.D said politely, avoiding eye contact but instead staring at the man's chest.

Never make eye contact with a white man.

The man nodded, "go into the theatre and up the stairs, here's a form to fill out" he spoke in a rough voice but he handed W.D two pieces of paper and a pencil.

He accepted and lead Anne into the theatre, "did you see that? He didn't care we're black" Anne whispered in shock.

W.D handed Anne the form, "I don't trust this, keep your eyes open" he murmured.

The theatre was massive, a large empty space with a balconies on the upper level filled with seats overlooking the theatre.

Next to the entrance on each side was a grand staircase leading up the balconies Anne presumed, they walked up them to see a long queue of people lining up inside a side room.

They were the most extraordinary people stood in line, Anne spotted a man covered with hair, a man who was covered in tattoos, two men joined together and two girls whose skin and hair was as white as paper.

They joined the end and filled in the forms, "this is incredible" Anne whispered.

W.D inspected the peculiar people stood in front of them, "I've never seen anything like this" he agreed.

The other circuses were mainly fake, normal people made to look different and odd; fake beards, fake nails, fake animals.

But this was amazing, everything was real here, these people really were extraordinary exceptions of nature.

The line moved quickly but Anne's excitement was replaced with nerves, what if they were turned down, what if they were laughed at or called disgusting names or worse.

Anne fiddled with the frayed strands in her shawl, she started at her feet and gripped the paper form tightly in her hand.

W.D noticed his sister's anxiousness, he grabbed her shoulder gently, "hey, it'll be okay" he promised.

Anne looked at him and smiled weakly, "I really want this, imagine a real meal everyday" she said, hope in her tone.

W.D sighed, he didn't want Anne to get hurt, she'd gone through more than any 21 year old should ever have to but he wanted this too, a real meal sounded heavenly. "I know, but don't get your hopes up, remember who we are Anne".

Anne lowered her eyes to the floor, "I know, I just really hope this works out" she quivered.

W.D saw they were next to speak to the man they'd seen earlier, "don't look him in the eye, be polite, only call him Sir, answer whatever he has to say only when he says it" W.D reminded her of the rules they had to follow, Anne nodded silently.

"Next" the man called.

They both stepped forward and offered him their forms, "P.T Barnum, please take a seat" he gestured to the chairs in front of his desk, his eyes scanning over their forms.

Anne and W.D silently did as they were told, sitting up straight, only looking at the P.T's chest.

"Okay, Anne and W.D Wheeler, brother and sister?" He asked,

Anne nodded her head, "yes sir" she said, W.D held Anne's hand. They were both nervous, "mhm, yeah" he answered along with Anne.

P.T looked up at them with wonder in his eyes, "terrific and what do you do?" He asked.

Anne stuttered, W.D winced as he looked at her. Showing weakness was never good for them, "t- uhh trapeze" Anne stuttered.

P.T's eyes widened slightly, he looked thrilled by this, already imagining what the two could do, "trapeze? Okay" he nodded.

W.D retracted his hand from Anne's he fiddled with the poster in his hand, resting the other on his knee, he leant forward slightly, "you know, people aren't going to like it if you put us on the stage" he said.

Anne looked at him, she was so scared of what P.T might reply but he smirked and cocked his head as he talked, "oh I'm counting on it" he said a smile spreading across his face.

Anne pulled her shawl tighter over her shoulders, "so what does this mean, Sir?" She asked.

P.T offered them his hand, "you're in, there's hot food and a room you can stay in" he said, W.D shook his hand firmly, Anne very enthusiastically.

W.D even smiled, "thank you so much Sir" he rejoiced.

Anne stood as she shook his hand, "you will not regret this Sir" she promised.

He directed them to a kind woman, "hi I'm Charity Barnum, allow me to show you to your room" she spoke softly, her voice was warm and sweet.

Anne tensed slightly when she touched her back tentatively, she led them out the room and down a corridor.

W.D walked alongside Anne, he looked at the woman, not in the eye of course, "this is very kind of you ma'am" he said politely.

Charity looked Anne up and down, Anne feared the judgement she was sure she was about to recieve. Would this be it? The moment she and W.D would be kicked out for being black?

Anne cast her eyes to the floor, she didn't want Charity to see her fear or emotion but she was met with concern not hate, "you're awfully thin, when's the last time you ate?" She asked kindly.

Anne looked at W.D, he too looked surprised, he nodded. "This morning ma'am but me and my brother lived on the streets, food was far and few for us" Anne answered.

Charity then did something neither of them would have ever expected, she gasped and hugged Anne. Anne stood awkwardly unsure of what to do, she had never been hugged by a white person before, or anyone besides W.D for that matter.

Anne looked at W.D for advice, "hug her" W.D mouthed and so Anne slowly lay her hands upon Charity's back, ever so lightly almost so they were not touching, she felt completely baffled by Charity's kindness.

Charity was good at hugging, in her arms Anne felt warm and safe, "you never have to go through that again, you poor thing. Your home is here now, we'll take care of you both" Charity promised.

She pulled away and looked at Anne's face for a moment before she unlocked their room and lead them inside. Anne's heart soared at the words under the calm surface Anne presented.

The thought of having a home, Anne had never had a home before, she wanted so desperately for this all to be real.

She looked at W.D, he too was holding a calm demeanour but Anne saw in his eyes Charity's words had gotten to him too.

Anne saw he was building his guards up again, as he always did when anything good happened for the two of them. He could never be too cautious, not when he didn't only need to look out for himself but also had to protect his little sister.

But Anne also saw past the walls he was building a spark of hope, they both had the feeling that things would be different this time. Charity wasn't like anyone else they ever met before.

She had such an inviting and caring spirit, she radiated comfort.

Anne gaped when they stepped into the room, it wasn't massive but it wasn't small either. They had two single beds with a trunk at the foot of it, they had a set of drawers, a vanity mirror sitting at a desk, a rail for clothes to hang from, and a door leading to what Anne suspected would be a bathroom.

Charity laughed lightly at Anne and W.D's amazed expressions, "this is all yours, this is your home now, dinner will be provided at 5 but downstairs in the theatre there is a kitchen stocked with food if you are hungry, feel free to make yourself at home and unpack any belongings you may have".

W.D looked down in shame, "oh we don't own anything, the only belongings we possess are the clothes on our backs Ma'am" W.D told her.

She looked at the two with a look of pity, not the pathetic pity look they recieve by black folk when they're begging on the street but the kind of pity that's only given by someone who truly cares. Charity truly cares, "you don't have any other clothes?" she asked.

Anne shook her head, "no Ma'am", Charity sighed, "you poor things, I will have some clothes sent up to you, then I will take your clothes to be washed and fixed" she said kindly.

But Anne held her shawl tightly, her body language protective over the piece of material, "no, that's alright, thank you Ma'am" she protested.

Charity saw the adamancy in Anne, she shook her head, "that shawl really means a lot to you huh?" She asked.

Anne nodded, "it was my mothers Ma'am" she answered shortly still clutching her shawl as if it may be stolen from her. W.D started playing with his suspenders nervously.

Charity touched Anne's shoulder carefully, "I promise you, I will return your shawl safely, I just want to clean it for you, is that alright?" She asked.

Anne took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, she could see W.D widen his eyes and gesture no wildly behind Charity's back.

But Anne did look in her eyes and she saw no hatred or malevolence. She saw kindness, and warmth and no trace of a lie, she found herself believing Charity.

She nodded, "alright, please take good care of it" she slipped the material from her shoulders and placed it gently in Charity's arms as if it were made of glass.

Charity smiled encouragingly at her, "I will see to it myself, I will return it shortly" she promised.

She turned and left leaving Anne and W.D alone in this new foreign room.

W.D immediately turned to Anne, "what are you doing? You never look a white person in the eyes!" he hissed. Anne lowered her head, "I'm sorry, I really think she's different".

W.D approached Anne, she was afraid he would tell her off but he didn't, "I think so too, but we cannot let our guards down, not yet, it's not safe yet" he said softly.

Anne's eyes pricked with tears, it was too much for her. She was tired and emotional and she'd been hugged for the first time by a white woman, and she missed her shawl and this room, it was all just too overwhelming. "I want this to be true, I want this to be home" Anne admitted,

W.D hugged her tightly, Anne buried her head in the comfort of his chest, the only place that's ever felt safe. Even in the most dangerous of situations, with W.D she was safe, "keep your guard up Anne, I don't want you getting hurt. Don't trust anyone, not yet" he said.

Anne nodded, "still in the mean time, we have a real bed" she smiled.

W.D grinned, "tonight we sleep like kings".

They both lay on their beds and relished on the comfort for a moment, "D?" Anne asked.

He turned to look at her and hummed in response, "can we push them together? I don't want to sleep apart from you" Anne said in a fragile voice.

She had never slept away from W.D, from the second she was born they had been together, it felt weird and wrong sleeping several feet apart.

He got to his feet and nodded, "I want to be next to you too, so I can be there if anything goes wrong or if you need me" he pushed his bed until it touched Anne's.

She felt so much better when he lay down, his arm touching hers. With her brother next to her, and she savouring the warmth and the comfort it wasn't long before Anne fell asleep.

She was tired from her few hours of uncomfortable sleep she was awoken from that morning but this was incredible, it was the best sleep she had ever had in her life.


	3. Anne & W.D Meet The Others

The next day Anne had showered. Can you believe that? She'd showered!

She had never had a shower in her life, the closest thing she'd ever had was when she bathed in lakes or the closest thing she could find, and for her that was rarity, she was so used to the smell she'd forgotten what it was like to be clean.

Her skin felt so smooth and not at all sticky. She wore fresh clean clothes. She felt like royalty!

She had the luxury of soap and new clothing, as Charity had promised she had returned Anne's shawl and it looked better than ever.

It was a remarkable light charcoal colour and free of all stains and dirt, it had even been repaired slightly, the holes and loose fabric gone.

Anne wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and pinned her hair up, she sat in the front of the mirror and sighed in content.

This was the best treatment she had ever received, and not only that but she and W.D were getting ready for breakfast and meeting the other acts.

Breakfast, as in she ate lunch and dinner too. Breakfast as in, not the only thing she would eat that day, something she would receive everyday, something more substantial than bread, something with nutrients that would feed her body what it needed.

She couldn't believe it. That night she and W.D huddled together instinctively but they slept entirely through the night. It was amazing how you could sleep when you weren't fighting the bitter cold or being snowed on all through the night.

W.D buttoned his waistcoat he had been given, it was P.T's and though the man was slightly shorter than he, P.T was bigger than W.D and so his waistcoat fit perfectly.

W.D grinned behind Anne, "feel this, it's real silk" he marvelled, Anne turned and ran her fingers along the silky material. It was so expensive and exquisite, "oh my lord" Anne gasped.

W.D wore a fresh button up shirt, smart uncreased slacks, suspenders with silver buckles that shone and a deep sea blue waistcoat made from fine silk.

Anne wore a button up shirt, similar to the one she had worn for the last few years but this one was tailored for a female body as opposed to the light blue shirt that belonged to her brothers. It hung off her frame and was far too big for her.

This shirt however was a light purple and complimented her skinny, delicate frame. She wore a long black skirt that ended at her feet and of course her now clean shawl around her shoulders.

Anne stood, "are you ready?" She asked her brother, he reached forward and plucked his bowler hat off the vanity table, placing it on his head, "now I am" he beamed.

Anne linked her arm with her brother's as they exited the room, "I'm so nervous to meet the others" Anne whispered, W.D just smiled, "forget them, I just want the food" he laughed.

She straightened her clothes nervously, "what if they don't like us?" She asked, W.D looked down, "well Anne, that is a possibility we have to accept, if that is the case we shall just remain in our room, keep out of sight, the same as we always have" he told her.

She nodded.

They walked down the grand staircase together and through the empty theatre, P.T stood in the centre talking to a man in a blue boiler suit, "it'll take a few business days for that to arrive Sir" the man said, P.T spread his hands, "I don't care just get it all here as soon as possible I want the ring here..." He rambled on about different objects he wanted for his theatre.

Anne and W.D continued walking on through the theatre, they could hear the buzz of low chattering in the back room.

They followed the sound until they reached the large kitchen, a long table in the middle filled with people of all different shapes and sizes. There were bowls and plates stacked with food in the middle that everyone picked at as they talked.

Anne and W.D stood in the doorway as they drank the sight in, unsure where to go or what to do.

The man covered with tattoos stood and beckoned them with his hand, "come, sit with us friends" he said, he had a thick Russian accent.

Friends.

Anne and W.D obeyed as they made their way over to where the man stood, there were two vacant seats next to each other which they sat down in.

The Russian man sat again, "my name is Constantine, what is yours?" He asked, W.D offered him his hand, "I am W.D and this is my sister Anne, Sir" he said.

Constantine's handshake was firm, like his own. The men were built similarly too.

Sat next to Constantine was a lady with a beard, "I'm Lettie, nice to meet you both" she offered her hand, Anne accepted, "the pleasure is mine, Ma'am" she answered politely.

Lettie scoffed, "Ma'am? You're on of us now, Lettie will do" she said, W.D inclined his head, "as you wish".

There was a short man sitting next to Anne, he was no taller than a child if not smaller, "don't forget about me tutz, Charles is the name" he kissed Anne's hand.

Anne turned bright red at the gesture, she looked at W.D, he was studying Charles with a look of shocked irritation.

Charles caught W.D's stern look and folded in on himself.

Anne looked at the different people sitting around the table, "what is this? What kind of show will we be doing?" She asked.

Constantine offered Anne and W.D a plate piled high with pastries and toast which they gladly accepted, "as far as I can tell we are a freak show" he said, his tone was hard to read, his eyes gave nothing away.

Lettie looked nervous at his comment, "Barnum told me I'm beautiful, that they don't understand yet but they will. I don't know what he means or what he's planning to do but whatever it is it'll be something like never seen before" she said.

Anne attacked her toast hungrily, wolfing it down within seconds. W.D did the same. They reached for another and devoured that with the same rigour. After years of living on the streets they had learned to eat whatever they could as quickly as possible, if they didn't they could be caught or have their food stolen from them.

Despite Anne's shrunken stomach from years of starving on the streets her appetite was enormous, she was excited by the dozens of plates of food.

Their new friends watched them in awe, "wow and I thought I was the animal here" the man covered in fur laughed.

Anne looked up her mouth filled with food, she swallowed and laughed nervously, "I'm sorry, I'm really hungry" she cast her eyes at the table and pulled her hands in her lap.

Now she had blown it, they had been too greedy and now they were going to have to pay for it.

Charles shook his head, "I like a girl that can eat" he offered her a different plate, one loaded with grapes.

She accepted the plate and held it between her and W.D as they picked at the fruit eating less ravenously this time. They didn't want to draw attention to themselves.

The woman, Lettie, laughed slightly at the sight of Anne shovelling as many grapes as she could into her mouth. It wasn't a mocking laugh or a laugh of judgement, but a laugh of playful humour, "so what's your story? Where are you from?" She asked.

W.D looked at her cautiously, avoiding her eyes. He didn't want everyone knowing their past, he decided he would offer her only the bare minimum. He swallowed and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, "me and my sister have been surviving off food scraps on the street for the past years, we've moved from circus to circus, looking for work. We perform trapeze together whenever we can find a circus to take us in" he said delicately.

He thought in detail before each and every word about how much he was willing to reveal, he gave Anne a look, telling her not to elaborate on what he has said any further.

"Circus?" Constantine asked, Anne took a shallow breath, "it's like a style of show usually with acrobats or unusual acts such as ourselves, it is very similar to what I imagine this might be" she explained briefly.

He nodded, "I see and so you did trapeze at the circus?" He asked.

W.D cleared his throat, "yes that's right".

"Barnum was attracted by my singing but then he saw what I am and he said he wanted me to join his show, show the world who I truly am inside, past my hideous beard" Lettie chimed in.

Anne felt a vote of confidence within her as she looked at the people around her, considered freaks like she and W.D were, "well if it means anything to you, I agree with Barnum, I think you're beautiful" she said.

Lettie's face flushed red and she smiled a pure genuine smile, "I cannot wait to see yours and W.D's act".

As Anne and W.D ate with the troupe Anne couldn't help but to feel a friendship and a bond forming between the 5.

She knew W.D felt it too, looking at him he held his usual guarded cautious expression but he smiled. A sight that was rare for him.

He was always so sensible and serious, it was interesting to see him starting to relax, enjoy where they were, even if it wouldn't last forever.

As careful as he was he sensed no risk or danger in their current situation.


	4. Anne Befriends Lettie

It had been a busy few days at the theatre, all week P.T had construction men delivering and building things.

Now the theatre was almost complete and ready for use, it had a large performing ring, a working rig with trapeze equipment suspended in the air, curtains they could open and close and lots of props, cages filled with animals, things needed for each oddities' acts.

P.T had asked W.D, Constantine and this really strong German guy Klaus to help him set up the theatre that day and so P.T stood in the ring ordering the boys around.

Anne was there of course, sat out of the way in one of the chairs as she watched W.D lifting heavy props and moving them behind the curtain at the back of the theatre.

Lettie had decided to join her and keep her company, she had tried to initiate a friendship with Anne that week but Anne was not making it easy.

It's not that she didn't want to be friends with Lettie, she didn't mean to be rude, she was just nervous around new people especially ones of pale complexion.

She wasn't supposed to look at white folk let alone befriend them. She didn't know what to make of Lettie, she was loud and confident and bubbly and Anne was the opposite.

Lettie didn't appear at all put out by Anne's shy, refined nature, however.

The two girls sat side by side Anne focussing on W.D and fidgeting with her shirt nervously, she listened to Lettie as she told Anne about what she and Charles had heard P.T telling Charity about the show.

Anne hummed distractedly as she watched W.D, "Anne?" Lettie asked.

"mhm?" Anne asked, still turned away from Lettie, "you still haven't told me, where are you from?" Lettie asked.

Anne's face changed to a slightly troubled expression, she didn't like opening up to anyone about anything, even something as small as her ethnicity. It was pretty clear she was African, revealing where in Africa shouldn't be a big deal but for Anne it was.

Anne lowered her head, her hands shifting to the underneath of the chair she sat on. She gripped the seat tightly and furrowed her eyebrows, "Africa" she said shortly.

Lettie nodded, "yes, but where?" She asked, Anne glanced at W.D, he was looking over in confusion.

He had spotted Anne's discomfort, he was contemplating going over but Anne shook her head.

He gave her a look that soothed her immediately, restoring her shaking confidence.

Lettie noticed Anne's hesitation, "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that if you do not wish to".

Anne shook her head, raising it slightly, "it's okay, you didn't mean anything by it. The truth is I'm not entirely sure, W.D told me our mother is from Zimbabwe, so there I suppose" she said quietly.

Lettie leaned forward, "Zimbabwe, what an exotic name" she marvelled.

Anne laughed lightly, "Zimbabwe represents a contracted form of dzimba-hwe, which means venerated houses in the Zezuru dialect of Shona, Shona being the spoken language of Zimbabwe, it usually references important chief's huts", she turned and looked at Lettie, her eyes focussed on a fixed spot just past Lettie's shoulder.

"Do you and W.D speak Shona?" Lettie asked, Anne nodded, "we speak Shona, English and French, we grew up in New Orleans where-" she stopped herself, "where most people speak French" she covered quickly.

Lettie cocked her head, "can I ask you something?" She asked.

This statement sent anxiety coursing through Anne's chest, squeezing her lungs but on the outside she looked calm and indifferent, "okay" Anne nodded.

"Why won't you look me in the eye?" She asked.

Anne's heart stopped, her mouth ran dry, her head dipped once again, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude I just- I can't" she whispered.

Lettie bent to look at Anne, "what do you mean you can't? Why not?" She asked.

Lettie had never met a black person before, she hadn't grown up around racial stereotypes, she didn't have the built-in conception that black people weren't as good as white.

She was confused by Anne's refusal to look anyone in the eye, she had noticed whenever Anne would look at someone she would look just past them, over their shoulder or above their head, Lettie didn't understand why she did this.

Anne frowned in confusion, "what do you mean why? You're white" she said.

Lettie pulled her head back, "yes?" She urged.

Anne looked at the woman's face, not her eyes but she looked at the puzzled look Lettie held, "black folk aren't supposed to look your kind in the eye" Anne said as if it were obvious.

Lettie frowned, clearly having never heard of this rule, "why?" She questioned.

Anne wasn't sure to answer that, she had asked her brother plenty of times herself. Why wasn't she supposed to look white folk in the eye?

"We're not as important as your kind, we don't have the same rights, we're barely considered people" Anne said darkly.

Lettie gasped and covered her mouth, "that's horrible, why?" She asked.

Anne sighed in exasperation, she didn't have the answer to these questions, "I don't know, it's always been this way".

Lettie took Anne's hand, she flinched slightly but didn't pull away, "Anne, I don't care how you're treated out there, in here you are safe and loved. You're my friend and you matter to me, so please. Just look at me" Lettie said softly, there was such passion in her voice.

Anne swallowed thickly and slowly raised her eyes to meet Lettie's. They were so different to how she imagined they would be, she had imagine piercing harsh eyes but instead she was met with a gentle caring gaze held by warm hazel eyes.

Anne's palms sweated and her breathing increased as her heart raced, "I'm your- friend?" Anne asked.

Lettie smiled, a genuine kind smile, "of course you are, if you would like?", Anne allowed herself to smile too, "I would love that, I've never had a real friend before".

The two women sat together sharing an intimate moment that Anne would never forget before the silence was broken, "Anne?" W.D called.

His voice was hard and defensive, he had seen Anne looking at Lettie in the eyes, he stood a few feet away.

Anne turned to look at him, her smile dropped when she saw the serious look on his face, he looked between Anne and Lettie, his arms crossed over his chest, "it's time to go" he said harshly.

Anne looked at Lettie, "but-" she protested, W.D uncrossed his arms and pointed at the floor, "it's time to go" he repeated louder.

Anne stood, "goodbye Lettie" she said quickly before hurrying over to W.D, he grabbed her by the arm and tugged her away in the direction of their room.

"What the hell were you thinking? What did I tell you?" He asked.

Anne lowered her head in shame, "never look a white person in the eyes" she mumbled.

"So what were you doing?" He asked angrily.

Anne shook her head, "W.D, Lettie is different, she wants to be my friend" she argued.

W.D stopped in his tracks and looked at her with an angry look on his face, "she isn't different, white people are all the same. They just want to hurt us, I told you to keep your guard up. You are not to be friends with that woman".


	5. Anne & W.D Show Off Their Talent

Anne woke up to a knock on the door. W.D, who was already up and awake answered the door.

"Good morning W.D, here are the clothes you and Anne requested. Phin has asked you two been down in the ring in half an hour" Anne heard Charity's voice say.

"Thank you, we shall be down soon" W.D answered before shutting the door slowly, careful not to make a noise.

He crept over to the bed as quietly as he could manage but at 6 foot 3 with feet the size of a yeti's it was a difficult task.

He assumed Anne was asleep so he gently shook her shoulder, "Anne" he called, "Anne, we need to get up, today's the day".

Today was the day Anne would get to practice trapeze again, it had been roughly 10 months since she had touched a rig.

She shot up, "it is?" She asked, W.D laughed and nodded, "here" he tossed her the clothes she had asked for.

A few days previously Charity Barnum had approached her and W.D and asked what clothes they would like to use as practice clothes.

She told them she could get them anything they wanted, Anne had asked for a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt with a pair of sweatbands. W.D had asked for a pair of sweatpants and also a sleeveless shirt with a pair of sweatbands.

Anne disappeared into the bathroom to change, Charity had brought Anne a pair of pink shorts that finished half way up to her thighs with matching pink sweatbands and a light white spaghetti top with pink laced lining.

Anne didn't have to worry about shoes as she needed to be barefoot to practice anyway.

She exited the bathroom to see W.D pulling on a white tank top, he was dressed in loose black sweatpants with matching black sweatbands and a plain white shirt.

He flexed his muscles in the mirror, "Charity didn't do too badly" he smirked.

Anne snorted, "oh please, you act as if you're Tromp Van Diggelen, put your muscles away" she laughed.

He kissed his arms, "you're just jealous your strength is no match for mine" he boasted.

Anne rolled her eyes, "well of course it's not you're a man. Women are weaker than men".

W.D put her in a headlock, "since when are you a woman? You're my baby sister" he teased, ruffling her hair.

She kicked at the bend of his leg so he released her, "shove off, c'mon let's go downstairs" she said grumpily as she pinned her hair up, out of her face.

W.D grabbed her shoulder, "before we go. Remember, stay on guard, don't do anything I wouldn't do, we don't know what the deal here yet is" he nagged.

She sighed, "D, I think P.T really is a good man, and Lettie just wants to be my friend. From what I can tell she's never met our kind, she doesn't know that she's supposed to hate us".

He crossed his arms, "Anne, I am your big brother, my job is to protect you and you will listen to me. I don't want you to get hurt so do as I say, stay on guard" he said orotundly.

Anne huffed in annoyance, "fine" she bit. She couldn't disobey her brother, she knew he had good reason to be protective of her, especially considering their past, but sometimes she wished he would loosen up, just a little.

Seeing the theatre all finished was amazing, Anne stared at the theatre in wonder as they walked down the stairs. It was incredible.

The mustard yellow curtain was open to reveal a red painted wooden ring with a fully functional pulley rigging system suspending rings, hoops and swings high above from the ceiling of the theatre.

The walls of the theatre had been repainted a bright green colour with the balconies on the second level gold.

Behind the curtain props of all sorts littered the theatre. Ranging from hay bales to large wooden blocks to what looked like a giant wheeler and even an assortment of large heavy looking weights.

Anne spotted a range of exotic looking animals in cages, she counted 2 lions, a giraffe, 6 zebras, 6 horses, 3 elephants and a crocodile.

The troupe were all gathered around the ring, they sat in the seats and talked amongst themselves whilst P.T and Charity waited in the ring.

Lettie spotted Anne and W.D and waved them over, Anne took a seat next to Lettie, W.D sat next to Constantine.

"What is with the long face my friend?" Constantine asked, his Russian accent rough and heavy, it was a little hard to understand but the siblings had began to get used to it.

W.D waved him off however, grumbling under his breath. He was just put out because he was on edge.

P.T clapped his hands, "ladies and gentlemen! I know you're all wondering what you are all doing here today and what all of this actually is" He began.

Charles scoffed, "that's an understatement, quit keeping us in the dark Barnum" he laughed.

P.T held up his hands, "fair enough, you want to find out what's going on. Well I want to show the world that you are people like them, I want to show the world that your uniqueness is something that should be worshipped and celebrated, not oppressed. Freaks they call you, be normal they tell you, well no more! My show will show the word who each of you really are, for you are glorious" he announced.

Anne glanced at W.D to catch his reaction but he just crossed his arms and stared stoically forward in solemn silence.

"So what are we doing here?" Lettie asked.

P.T gave a eccentric laugh, leaping atop the lip of the ring and spreading his hands, "this is your chance to show us what you've got, to showcase your talents and what makes you special" he grinned.

Anne was blown away by all the amazing thing the very people she would be working with could do. It was like nothing she'd ever seen before, there were people who could blow fire from their mouths, there was a man with a third leg he could use like his other two, Lettie had the most incredible voice, there were two brothers who were connected at the hip, quite literally.

Anne watched in amazement, in awe of the miraculous talents held by the oddities at the show. Anne itched with excitement and anticipation as her and W.D's opportunity to perform trapeze again crawled closer.

She stared longing up at the trapeze swing, she longed for nothing more than to be able to fly through the air again, that feeling of freedom taking over. Her fingers twitched as she wished to reach out and grab the rope in her hands again.

Looking beside her she knew W.D felt similarly, he barely watched what was happening within the ring, his eyes set on high above where the equipment waited. Waited for them.

W.D's hands open and closed as he imagined himself up in the air once more. W.D never expressed emotion, he just wasn't the type but he struggled to keep his passion for trapeze a secret.

Anne raced out of her seat when P.T turned to them, "now our trapeze artists Anne & W.D Wheeler" he gestured to them.

W.D took a more calm approach standing and nodding his head slightly before he followed Anne to the ring.

P.T waved his hand and the man he called O'Malley pulled on the rigging, lowering the ropes to them.

Anne and W.D whispered to each other for a few seconds as they discussed what sequence they would do, then they mounted the ropes which were then raised off the ground again.

Most people would be nervous as they were lifted high through the air. 10, 20, 30 feet but Anne let out an instinctive laugh.

On earth she was a worthless poor niggger who had no control over what happened in her life, it was everyone else's job to decide what became of her. She was just a pawn of life but up here, in the air she was free. She was the ruler of the kingdom and those who observed her were her subjects. She had the power of a mistress and the grace of a gazelle.

Anne took a deep breath and swung the rope around the theatre, effortlessly contorting her body around the rope in unimaginable shapes.

She relished in the feeling when she heard the troupe gasping below her, she somersaulted through the air switching to the swing.

The feeling of the wind in her clothes in her hair and clothes as she soared was one she had missed greatly, she closed her eyes and sighed in content at the freedom bursting through her chest.

She smirked to herself as she released the swing, flipping through the air and grabbing on again with her legs. Anne Wheeler you've still got it she thought to herself.

She hang upside down like a bat laughing out loud, W.D flew past her on the rope before he grabbed hold of the other swing.

Anne pushed her body back and forth through the air gathering the momentum she needed to launch herself across the theatre, releasing at the last second only to be caught safely by W.D's ready awaiting arms.

Anne grinned as she heard the troupe hold their breath whilst she freefell through the air before W.D swooped in and grabbed her.

She didn't know why but there was something about captivating an audience like that, keeping them on the edge of their seats fearing for her safety, worrying if she would catch herself in time when she always did.

She leapt from W.D's arms to the other swing, him following in pursuit. She caught him with her feet before projecting him through the air to the last rope.

She then closed her eyes and freefell once again to glide through the hoop gracefully. She caught herself with one hand, the momentum spinning the ring quickly, she bent her body around the frame of the hoop.

O'Malley lowered it slowly and Anne front flipped landing perfectly.

Everyone including P.T stared at the siblings in shock, their performance was like one they'd never seen before.

P.T clapped slowly, "wow, that was incredible" he gasped, "how the hell did you do all that?" Lettie laughed.

W.D grinned, "a lot of practice, hard work and falling on our asses" he shrugged.

Anne looked at him in surprise. He had just made a joke. To someone other than her. To a white someone. To a white someone he told her to stay away from.

Trapeze put him in the best mood, perhaps with them being able to practice more frequently he would ease up on Anne...

P.T walked over to the two clapping them both on the back, "take your bow, you've earned it" he encouraged.

W.D shared a proud look with Anne before he bowed, Anne curtseying as the troupe applauded them loudly.

They were the last to perform so P.T went on to explain when they would rehearse the show, hold meetings, handle business etc but Anne wasn't listening.

All she could think about was her speeding heart, her uneven breath, her mind that felt the lighest it had in a long time. She had missed this feeling and she hoped she would never have to give it up again.


	6. Constantine Earns W.D's Trust

Anne and W.D were practicing their trapeze act when they were approached by P.T.

He cleared his throat to catch Anne's attention as she suspended herself up side down from a knot in the rope, hanging on by her feet.

She looked down to find P.T waiting, hat in hand below her, "W.D" she called, he was above her clinging on to the rope with both hands, suspending his body perfectly straight out from the rope.

He looked down to see P.T and brought his body in, leaping out, missing Anne and landed in front of the man.

"How can I help you sir?" He asked looking at P.T's feet as he wiped at his forehead, sweaty from trapeze.

P.T offered him a handkerchief W.D gladly accepted, "the first show is coming up in a week and I need you and Anne to collect your costumes I have ordered from you from a store in town" he said.

Anne flipped through the air so she landed next to W.D right side up, "what costumes?" She asked.

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, "the costumes you shall wear for the show, Charity ordered them in both of your sizes I just need you to go collect them, this is the address" he offered the paper to W.D.

He studied it for a moment, "it's not too far from here but it can be dangerous for me and my sister to be out in public, Sir" he passed the paper back.

P.T held up his hands, "no bother, why don't you take Constantine and Lettie with you? You seem to be getting along well with the pair and from what I can tell they can both take care of themselves".

Constantine who stood nearby looked up at the mention of the name. Lettie who was nearby practicing her singing stopped to look over.

Anne nodded, "that should be fine, right D?" She said, W.D crossed his arms, "I'm not sure" he replied warily.

Anne frowned at him, "W.D, our boss is asking we do something" she said warningly.

P.T laughed, "you needn't see me as the boss, think of me as your friend, but I do think it may be useful to build a strong bond between all of us, take this as a bonding opportunity. And as you said, it's not too far from here" he suggested.

Anne turned to W.D, he frowned at the paper as he though it over, "okay, we'll do it" he sighed pocketing the paper with the stores address.

Constantine had been slowly creeping over throughout the conversation, he waved his hand to catch their attention, "hello, sorry. I thought I heard my name?" He asked.

P.T nodded, "could you and Lettie possibly accompany Anne and W.D to pick up their costumes for the show, you could get yours whilst you're at it" he requested.

Lettie who was stood by listening came and joined Constantine at this point, "of course not a problem Sir" Constantine agreed, Lettie smiled at Anne, "I would love to" she gave Anne a wink.

She had sat with Anne for meals everyday that week since declaring Anne her friend. She teased W.D lightly, which he did not take well to which Lettie of course found highly amusing.

Anne and W.D got changed into clean clothes rather than their sweaty workout clothes and they met Lettie and Constantine by the ring.

"So where is this place?" Lettie asked, W.D pulled out the piece of the paper as they exited the theatre beginning their down the street, "it's near the park on Madison street".

Constantine led confidently, "follow me, we will go down Chambers street before taking Centre then Henry street" he said.

W.D cleared his throat, "uh actually the quickest way would be to cut through Park Row" he corrected.

Constantine looked puzzled, "Park Row? Are you sure?" He asked, W.D chuckled, "me and Anne lived on the street, I know New York like the back of my hand".

Lettie frowned at Anne, "is that true?" She asked, Anne hung her head in embarrassment, avoiding her eyes but she nodded.

Lettie touched her arm tentatively, "it's okay" she whispered, despite her shame burning upon her face Anne inclined her head slightly and offered a smile.

W.D stepped forward as he lead the small group down an alleyway that led them to Park Row, "me and Anne know all the shortcuts, back alley's and the best places to hide too".

Constantine nodded, "you are right my friend, Park Row is the quickest route" he said.

W.D's face twitched at friend, he merely nodded and made a grunt sound in his throat.

They walked in silence, Constantine stealing occasional glances towards W.D. He had a serious face like thunder, as he always did.

He put up a guarded front resulting in him constantly looking grumpy and unapproachable, most people found it intimidating and only Anne could see through it.

Lettie walked closely to Anne but she too watched W.D from behind as they walked, the silence wasn't exactly tense but there was an underlying tone. It was as if they were all ignoring an elephant in the room.

Constantine finally decided to break the quiet, "W.D why do you not trust anyone?" He asked.

W.D's eyes previously cast on the sidewalk in front of him darted upwards yet he still stared straight ahead. His brows furrowed, he was caught off guard by the question, "I have my reasons" he answered.

Constantine looked at him, "which are?" He asked, W.D chuckled. Short and fake.

"I am Anne's big brother and protector, we have had a troubled past and your kind has given us many reasons not to trust you. I cannot let my guard down for a second" he responded.

Lettie huffed, "our kind? Do you mean white people?" She asked. Anne flinched at her tone and walked a little closer to W.D.

"I understand you feel the need to protect Anne but you can trust us W.D, like it or not we are friends and friends trust each other" Constantine said.

W.D looked straight ahead, "friendship must be earned, I have trusted too early in the past and Anne almost got hurt, I'm not going to let that happen again, you really want my friendship then you'll earn it" he said.

Anne grabbed his shoulder, stopping him and turning him around, "D, I don't blame you for what happened. Yes it was scary but you saved me and you've never let anything bad happen since, these are good people. Maybe it's time we let someone else in?" She sighed.

Lettie stepped forward, "she's right, I don't want to hurt you W.D, let us in. Just look at me" her hand twitched, she had gone to touch him but decided it best not, he would be more difficult to sway than Anne and she hadn't been easy.

W.D looked at Anne instead, "you might not blame me for what happened, but I do. Let's go" he said, and they kept walking.

They walked the rest of the journey in definitely uncomfortable silence, Anne was thankful the store wasn't too far away because she didn't know how much longer she could bare the tension.

She and Lettie walked behind W.D and Constantine, neither men looked at one and another again until they reached the store. W.D with his seemingly permanent hardened expression, Constantine looked a little unsettled and awkward with his brows furrowed and his mouth set in an unmovable straight line.

Anne's eyes cut between the three of them and the floor intervally, she hoped someone would eventually say something but no one did, Lettie tugged at her beard nervously. A habit Anne had noticed she ddi in awkward situations.

They stopped outside a small tailor's shop, "is this it?" Anne asked, W.D checked the address on the note and nodded, "number 15 Park Row, this is it".

They entered the store and were immediately met with an array of disgusted looks from the people inside, Anne shrank back at the glares.

She hated being looked at as if she was the gum on the bottom of one's shoe. Anne took a few steps back and cast her eyes to the floor her face filled with embarrassment.

Lettie noticed this immediately and took Anne's hand in hers, a small gesture of comfort that Anne appreciated highly, she didn't lift her head but her eyes met Lettie's and she gave her a grateful smile.

W.D puffed out his chest and stood a little taller, he strode confidently to the counter with Constantine where an older white woman stood.

She sneered when W.D stopped in front of her, "I believe Mr P.T Barnum has ordered some clothes for Anne and W.D Wheeler, Ma'am" he said politely.

She groaned in disgust, "eugh we don't serve your kind" she grimaced, W.D took a deep breath, "ma'am I don't want any trouble, I just wish to collect mine and my sister's clothes" he said calmly.

The woman leaned over the counter threateningly towards W.D, "and I said we don't serve niggers. I don't care what you want, get out" she hissed.

Constantine pulled W.D back, stepping up to the count, "excuse me madam, my friend here has simply come to collect his clothes that have already been paid for. You are being unnecessarily hostile and aggressive. I will only ask you once, would you please go fetch the clothes that Mr P.T Barnum has ordered?" He asked.

The woman frowned, "first a nigger now a Russian? If you do not leave now I will make you leave, Jackson!" She screamed over her shoulder.

She stood in front of a door that led to a back room, when she yelled over her shoulder a large man emerged from the door, "is there a problem ma?" He asked.

The woman explained how two black people and a Russian dared step foot inside her store, Jackson cracked his knuckles and turned to them, "I believe my mother has asked you to leave, you can leave by your own accord freaks. Or you can wait until I make you" he threatened.

Lettie pushed Anne behind her, "I've got this" she whispered to Anne, "listen up Jackson, your mother's been asked nicely and now I'm telling you, get those clothes or I will call the police for harassment and have this pathetic little business shut down, it's your choice" she yelled.

Jackson and his mother exchanged a look before she growled and disappeared behind the door. Jackson scoffed, "nobody orders my mother around like that".

Lettie scoffed mockingly, "well it looks like I just did" she retorted.

His mother came back with the clothes at that moment, W.D outreached his arms to take them but she took one disgusted look at him and placed the clothes on the counter, "I don't touch spooks" she said coldly.

Constantine slammed his fist on the counter, "that is enough! You have no right to talk to us in this manner!" He roared.

Jackson stepped around from the counter, "that's it, you freaks have your clothes now leave!" He grabbed W.D by the throat and shoved him out of the store.

Anne's eyes widened and she rushed to his side on the sidewalk, "are you okay?" She asked, he nodded.

Anne glared up at Jackson, seeing her brother hurt filled her with newfound confidence, "how dare you lay your hands on my brother you bastard" she spat.

"You dare insult me? You're nothing but a useless filthy nigger" he screamed, Anne saw him raise his hand to hit her, she flinched and looked away preparing for the blow but it didn't come.

"Don't fucking touch her" Constantine tackled him before he could hit Anne, he straddled Jackson and punched him in the face a few times for measure.

Lettie picked Anne up and dusted her off, "Anne are you okay?" She asked, Anne felt a little shaken up but nodded, "I-I'm fine" she stammered.

Constantine hauled W.D to his feet, "hey are you alright man?" He asked.

W.D rubbed his throat as he stared at Constantine in shock, "you saved my sister, thank you" he gasped.

Constantine clapped W.D on the back, "trust has to be earned right? Come on let's go before he comes around" he nodded to Jackson who was now unconscious at their feet.

W.D laughed, "sure, let's go. Friend" he agreed.


	7. The First Show

Anne jumped at the rapid knocking, P.T walked up and down the corridor knocking on all the performer's doors, "everybody up! Today's the day of our first show and we have lots to do!" He called.

Anne and W.D however always got up at the crack of dawn so they had been up for hours, "our first show" Anne repeated.

W.D smiled as he rose from the chair in front of the mirror, "you nervous?" He asked, Anne scoffed, "Anne Wheeler doesn't get nervous" she laughed.

Already dressed they walked down to the ring to find an excitable P.T, he sprung to life when he saw them, "Anne, W.D are you ready for today?" He asked, rubbing his hands together.

W.D held his hands behind his back and nodded, "of course Sir, what can we do?" He asked.

P.T took them by the shoulders and began walking them to the back of the theatre, "well I do need your help securing the banners to the building, go find Charles, Lettie, Constantine, anyone who'll help and go to the windows on each floor, you'll find the banner there" he instructed.

Anne nodded, "of course Sir, we'll get right on it".

It took them a short while to figure out how to safely secure the banners to the building. They noticed there was a railing that jutted above each window they could tie the banner to.

Unfortunately this involved Anne and W.D balancing on the outer window ledge and manually tying it themselves.

They secured a rope around their waist held by Charles, Lettie and Constantine as a safety precaution in case they were to fall.

There 8 banners in total, a banner for Charles, Constantine, Lettie and Anne & W.D. There was also a poster for the albino twins, Mary and Flora, a poster for Oliver the Irish Giant and Walter the dog boy.

Their friends all winced and watched in fear as Anne and W.D walked out across the narrow wooden ledge high above the ground but Anne nor W.D were phased in the slightest.

They weren't at all bothered by heights of course, they also had impeccable balance from years of trapeze and so even when the wind blew, attempting to sway them and send them tumbling they were perfectly comfortable and finished the jobs without so much a blink of an eye.

By the time they had secured all of the 8 banners it was nearing time for the show, their next task at hand was to get into their costumes and begin preparations.

Anne snorted at her costume, neither she or W.D had seen their costumes yet as Charity had said she wanted their first reactions to all be on the day of the first show.

Anne a purple shimmering leotard with matching purple arm and wrist bands and a purple transparent cape.

She held it up to W.D, "have you seen my costume?" She laughed, W.D raised his eyes to the heavens, "it can't be worse than mine".

He held up a pair of matching trousers and a sleeveless shirt with gold sparkles lining the buttons, the trousers had a bright green trim at the bottoms.

Anne winced, "no yeah that's definitely worse" she agreed, W.D cocked his head, "what's that?" He laughed, he picked up a bright pink wig from the box.

Anne threw her head back and groaned, "does Charity seriously expect us to wear all this?" She asked.

W.D tossed her the wig, "go on then, put it on" he grinned.

Anne wrinkled her nose distastefully as she emerged from the bathroom, W.D bit his fist as he laughed, "oh no, that is bad" he laughed.

Anne gave him a twirl with a sarcastic smile on her face, "I wouldn't laugh too hard sparkles boy" she replied.

He walked towards her, "okay true, but" he held out her cape, "I don't have a cape and pink hair" he finished.

Anne held her wig in her hand, "I have no idea how to put this on, this mess cannot be tamed" she pointed to her curly hair.

He nudged her arm, still chuckling to himself, "come on, let's go find Lettie, she'll be able to help".

It took a lot of experimental hair tying, tucking hair under the wig, several hairclips and praying to the good Lord Jesus at one point but Lettie managed to help Anne with her wig.

Looking at herself in full costume in Lettie's mirror Anne wouldn't admit it out loud but she didn't feel so strongly against the costume.

It definitely wasn't a look she was familiar with but it was kind of working for her.

The purple leotard was made of a stretchy shimmery material with a netted material covering Anne's chest, shoulders and the majority of her back. Like the buttons of W.D's shirt it was peppered with golden sparkles.

Her cape was a similar netted material but was tinged a light lilac also with the same golden sparkles.

The pink wig looked surprisingly natural despite its exuberant colour, it was styled into a poised elegant style and gave the outfit an element of excitement and uniqueness.

Charity had also supplied Anne with a lightweight pair of trapeze shoes to protect Anne's feet during her daring act with Anne was extremely thankful for.

She's never been giving a pair of shoes designed for trapeze before so she'd always opted to go barefoot and rope burn on the soles of your feet were about as much fun as they sounded.

Anne loved Lettie's costume, she had been giving a beautiful purple dress with a raised collar. She had tied her own hair up in a graceful bun braided with flowers. Her beard was neatly combed and she looked beautiful.

Lettie stepped back as she admired her handy work, "here, how's that?" Lettie asked.

Anne marvelled at herself in the mirror, "it looks amazing, let's just hope it's secure enough it won't come undone when I'm swinging upside down" she laughed.

They all made their way to the ring, it was incredible to see everyone in their costumes highlighting their talents and unique appearances.

Constantine and Charles made their way over to the three. Constantine wore a pair of brown pants and a brown pinstriped waist coat left open to reveal his tattooed chest and arms. He had slicked his brown hair back and trimmed his beard so he looked more presentable.

Charles wore a white and blue general's uniform with black leather boots that finished at the knee, golden shoulder tassels and buttons and a black general hat. At his belt he had two holsters he had two pistols.

He looked very happy in his uniform, "check me out, don't I look dapper" he grinned.

Constantine clapped his shoulder, "looking good little man" he agreed, "isn't this exciting?" Lettie squealed.

They all murmured in agreement, "it's been so long since I've performed for a crowd" Anne said.

They didn't have long to talk as P.T strolled in dressed in a pair of smart black slacks and a white dress shirt under a black waistcoat with golden buttons. He also wore a long red Ringmaster's jacket with tails and a tall black top hat.

He carried a wooden cane with a golden tip in his left hand, he beamed at all the acts, "the show begins in 5 minutes, finish getting ready. Anne, W.D get up there, ready for your act" he ordered.

Constantine clapped W.D on the back, "you two be safe up there, huh" he said, W.D smiled warmly at him.

The two men since the incident picking up the costume had formed an almost brotherly bond, "we will, don't you worry".

Lettie squeezed Anne's arm, "good luck" she said before Anne and W.D took off to find the ladders they would climb to reach the platforms they would start on.

W.D hugged Anne as they reached the bottom of her ladder, it was quick and light but he always hugged her before they performed. Trapeze wasn't easy but it was however dangerous, he always hugged her just in case anything went wrong for either of them, "have a good show sis, enjoy it" he said with a wink.

Anne climbed the ladder rung by rung, it was the tallest she had ever climbed but this didn't bother her in the slightest.

She leant against the rails of the platform as she watched the cast behind the curtain preparing for the show. They looked as small as matchsticks to her, she predicted was maybe 40-45 feet off the ground.

There was only a small crowd gathered around the ring but it was a good number to start with a first show. They stood behind a red velvet rope as they chattered quietly amongst themselves, Anne could hear them, even from up where she was.

She watched P.T helping the oddities to get ready, he nodded to them to gesture the show was beginning before he began to sing.

"You stumble through your days, got your head hung low, the sky's a shade of grey. Like a zombie in a maze, you're asleep inside but you can shake away" P.T sang grinning as he watched the troupe busying themselves to get ready.

Anne was impressed by his voice, she'd never actually heard the man sing before. His voice was pleasant and deep, "cause you're just a dead man walking, think of that your only option, but you can flip a switch and brighten up your darkest day" he continued.

Anne looked at W.D stood on the platform the opposite side of the theatre to her, he gave her a wink.

"Take the world and redefine it, leave behind your narrow mind, you'll never be the same, come alive" P.T pulled on his jacket he'd removed to help the troupe.

He adjusted his jacket and hat as he sang, "come alive, go and ride your light, let it burn so bright. Reach it up to the sky, and it's open wide. You're electrified".

He pulled the pillow out from one of the acts who was asleep on a stage block and shoved it up Frederic, the fat man's shirt. "And the world fantasy and you're more than you could ever be 'cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open" he patted Frederic's stomach and helped Oliver with his stilts.

The troupe held out their hands as Oliver nearly toppled, "and you know you can't go back again to the world that you were living in 'cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open, so come alive" P.T sang.

He squeezed a nervous Lettie's arm for support before the two pulled the mustard yellow curtains open.

Anne giggled to herself a little as Constantine and Frederic held Oliver's legs up as he stumbled out into the ring.

They all froze when they noticed the audience's shocked faces, there were several gasps and murmurs, Anne spotted a lady pull her daughter behind her back to shield her from the big bad freaks.

Anne looked down at her angrily, she looked for Lettie in the 6 in the ring but Lettie wasn't there.

Anne frowned and spotted Lettie pressed against the side of the stage staring at the audience in fear. P.T cut quickly across the stage to her and said something Anne couldn't hear.

"Come on Lettie" Anne whispered to herself, Lettie was so brave with her friends within the circus and she'd gone into protective mode when that woman was being racist to her and W.D but Anne knew how shy Lettie could also be, not much different to herself.

Nobody could be strong all the time and Lettie was clearly afraid to be harshly judged, Lettie shook her head as she said something to P.T, her chest heaved with anxiety.

P.T must have said something important however because when he replied she allowed him to take her arm and lead her into the ring, she looked at the audience and swallowed as she too froze.

P.T turned and ran to Charles or "Tom Thumb" as his stage name was, he lifted him onto a majestic white horse.

Charles too looked nervous, "I see it in your eyes, you believe that lie that you need to hide your face" he sang as Charles looked to the crowd apprehensively.

Lettie offered a nervous smile to the little girl peeking around from her mother's back. The little girl smiled back, a poor orphan boy with crutches hobbled closer to get a better view and Frederic puffed his chest slightly, feeling better having won some of the audience's approval.

"Afraid to step outside, so you lock the doors, but don't you stay that way!" P.T sang, adjusting Charles' uniform before slapping the horse's rear end.

The horse neighed and galloped onto the stage, Charles wobbled slightly in his seat as Lettie began to sing too, "no more living in the shadows, you and me you know how that goes" she watched Charles as he rode around the ring.

Anne smiled at the sight of her friend finally finding her confidence, "cause once you see it, oh you'll never, never be the same!" Frederic joined in.

The audience began to marvel at the strange sight in front of them, Lettie started smiling as she and Frederic sang together,

"we'll be the light that's shining. Bottle up and keep on trying, you can prove there's more to you, you cannot be afraid".

Charles pulled out his pistols and fired wildly into the air as he rode, a joyous grin on his face. He enjoyed taking on the general role he played.

The lights flashed onto the troupe as they emerged with P.T onto the stage to join the others, "come alive, come alive go and ride your light, let it burn so bright" the whole cast sang.

Anne looked at W.D, he grabbed hold of the swing above his head and nodded at Anne to do the same, "now" he mouthed.

They took a run and jumped from the platform swinging across the stage towards each other, "reach it up to the sky, and it's open wide, you're electrified" the troupe sang below them.

There were gasps as Anne let go of the swing, P.T pointed to her as she let go and grabbed onto W.D's outstretched hands.

The Barnum girls squealed in excitement below at the sight of W.D hanging upside down.

W.D swung the both of them across the stage, Anne jumped from his arms to the platform, him backflipping so he landed just in front of her.

He almost fell from the edge but Anne grabbed his flailing arms as he tried to catch himself, she pulled him to safety further onto the platform.

"Thanks" he panted, "we're not done yet" Anne reminded him, they ran and leaped for the hoops catching themselves in elegant positions as the cast sang below them.

"And the world becomes a fantasy and you're more than you could ever be 'cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open" Anne joined in as they all danced below her and W.D.

The audience began to cheer at their impressive choreography, "and we know we can't go back again, to the world that we were living in 'cause we're dreaming with our eyes wide open, so come alive!" They finished.

The audience roared in approval, P.T's grin spread across his face contagiously, spreading to the rest of the cast.

They basked in the applause, savouring the moment. Anne couldn't remember a moment she'd felt this good and ironically, alive.

The first show had been a major success and she couldn't wait to feel this again every day.


	8. The Hecklers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: graphic depictions of violence in this chapter

The first week was crazy, more and more tickets were selling every night, it was no longer a small crowd standing behind a velvet ropes they were selling seats in the theatre and it became more and more packed with every show.

They started to perform twice a day, once in the afternoon and once in the evening, they had to make the show longer too. The people wanted more and one song just wouldn't cut it anymore.

P.T had heard Anne singing to herself as she walked to her room after dinner one evening, and he stopped her.

Anne walked alone in the halls planning for an early night, all the shows and training had her exhausted but she could never complain, she loved it.

"J'ai trouvë l'eau si belle que je m'y suis baignë. Sous les feuilles d'un chene, je me suis fait sëcher" Anne sang softly as she walked along the corridor, running her hand along the wall as she walked.

She hadn't noticed P.T walking behind her, "my god! Anne you have a beautiful voice" he gasped.

Anne almost jumped out of her skin, she slammed her back to the wall as her snapped around to see who spoke, P.T chuckled at the sight of her clutching her chest.

The startled look on her face resembled one of a deer caught in a gaslight by a hunter.

Anne laughed nervously as she straightened, embarrassed by her reaction, "I apologise, I didn't mean to frighten you" P.T laughed.

Anne shook her head, "it's quite alright Sir, I didn't hear you" she laughed, she felt her cheeks flushing a little.

P.T fell in so he walked next to her, "was that French you were singing in?" He asked.

Anne turned her head to face forward again, she nodded once, "yes Sir, me and W.D both speak French fluently" she said.

She was very aware she was alone with a man, W.D wouldn't be happy if he knew she was left alone with P.T especially regarding her past.

P.T seemed completely unaware of the situation however, he held a thoughtful look on his face as he rubbed his chin, "your voice is spectacular, how would you feel about singing in the show? We could start you off with one line of course, and we'd have to fit it in around your trapeze" he rambled.

Anne gave him a quick smile, "yes of course Sir, I would be honoured" she said, he grinned, "excellent, goodnight Anne" he said as they stopped outside her door.

Anne turned to the door quickly, "goodnight Sir" she answered quickly, she stepped into the room and shut the door then prepared for bed.

Tonight was the tenth show Anne had performed and as much as there were lots of excited audience members who were amazed by the show there were also several protesters and hecklers who only came to spread hate.

They would sit in the front rows and scream slurs at all the acts, Anne wished she was surprised by some of the insults thrown at her and W.D as they performed their acts and stunts.

She and W.D got it worse than pretty much anyone else in the show, except maybe Lettie or Monty.

Whether it was their own act or them dangling from the ceiling throughout some of the other acts whenever they were on stage they had hideous racist slurs thrown at them.

Anne should be used to it by now but she wasn't, the words hurt. She didn't understand why the colour of her skin should cause such an angry response from strangers she'd never met before.

She had just sung her line in the song 'Come Alive' when the yelling got more aggressive, she could hear the insults clearly over the troupe's singing and the cheering from the audience.

She looked at W.D as she hung from the hoop, her confidence shaken. He could tell she was starting to get upset, he shot an angry glare at the hecklers as he sang.

He couldn't do anything, not from up there, not whilst he was singing and performing high above the ground.

He pursued Anne when they had finished the number, she didn't know where she was going but she darted between the acts backstage needing somewhere to go and cry and let out her pain causing by those harsh words.

W.D grabbed her shoulder, "don't listen to them Anne" he said, she turned to face him, "why're people so cruel?" She began to cry.

W.D pulled her in for a hug, "life's always going to be this way for us Anne, it'll never be easy. The sooner you stop letting those words hurt you the sooner you'll stop caring and things will feel better" he said.

Anne sniffled against his chest, "I love performing but this side of it's just so difficult".

W.D brushed the tears from her cheeks, "I know Annie, you've just got to think about if trapeze is worth this pain" he sighed.

Constantine ran over to the two of them, "W.D we need your help, there's a fight outside" he panted.

W.D frowned at Anne, "c'mon" he said taking her hand, they ran after Constantine out of the back entrance.

A crowd of men had formed there and were hurling insults at the troupe.

The leader of the group sneered when Anne and W.D followed Constantine out, "hey look it's the two niggers" he taunted.

W.D clenched his fists, "Sir you will not talk about my sister in that way" he warned.

The man took a step forward, he stumbled clearly drunk, "oh yeah? And why not? Is she a whore like beardy over there?" He asked nodding his head to Lettie.

The crowd howled with laughter, Constantine stepped up to the man, "I will have you know neither Lettie or Anne or whores and I would appreciate it if you did not speak about my friends in such ways Mister" he said angrily yet calm.

Walter growled and took a step forward but Lettie held her hand out to stop him, "it's okay Walt" she whispered.

The troupe stood face to face with the angry crowd of men, "see we don't want freaks like you in our town" a well-dressed gentleman spat.

Frederic shook slightly as he stepped forward, "excuse me Sir but you're causing a scene and I'm going to have to ask you to leave" he said nervously.

The crowd whispered to each other, eying up the troupe in a way that gave Anne a bad feeling in her gut. Monty disappeared into the theatre, maybe to get P.T's help.

W.D pushed her behind his back protectively, "that's funny because we want you to leave" a man yelled.

A woman saw W.D push Anne behind him, "look at the spook, trying to protect his nigger sister" she cackled.

The crowd all began to laugh once more, several men advanced on W.D and Anne, "come on out little girl" one of the men reached out to touch Anne.

She took a quick step back and tripped backwards, Lettie caught her and pulled her back.

W.D however seized the man's arm and shoved him back hard, "don't you touch my sister, we've asked you politely now go" he seethed.

The man fell back into the crowd, they all watched him in shock. The leader of the group raised his arm, "get 'em boys" he called.

Chaos broke out, Lettie pushed Anne to the side out of harm's way before someone grabbed her hair and pulled her back.

Anne watched in fear as the crowd began attacking the troupe, they began yelling as the troupe fought back.

Oliver kicked at the men with his long legs, Walter headbutted one before he punched him in the gut.

Constantine threw a man against the wall whilst Lettie was pushed to the ground.

W.D caught the guy by the collar hitting him over the head, the man punched W.D in the face but after W.D hit him again, this time in the face he turned and fled from the fight.

W.D started to pursue him but at that moment P.T and O'Malley came out, "hey!" He said over the noise but no one heard him.

"Hey! That's enough!" He demanded, the troupe stopped to look at him except from Walter who ran from the theatre now with a wooden plank raised over his head, ready to break it over a man's head, "Walter! That's enough! Inside all of you" he ordered.

Constantine picked Lettie up off the floor and helped her inside, W.D searched for Anne, running over to grab her and take her inside.

"We don't want your kind"

"Get out of here!"

"Stay out of our town freaks"  
Anne heard being called after them as they were ushered inside.

The leader of the group spat at P.T, "attention freaks! Your master's calling" he directed at Anne and W.D.

Right because they were black, they must be slaves, "come on" W.D whispered pulling Anne inside.

P.T stepped forward, "that's quite enough Sir" he said calmly, he stared them down until they left then entered back in the theatre with O'Malley.

Anne just noticed the newspaper he was holding in his hand, "guys! I know it's difficult putting up with all of this but you can't go around doing that!" He said.

W.D sighed, rubbing his knuckles, he looked to the floor. Anne was afraid P.T was going to fire them.

Constantine looked at the two of them, "Sir with all due respect they tried to touch Anne" He defended.

P.T frowned and looked at Anne, "is that true?" He asked, Anne lowered her gaze too, "yes Sir" she answered quietly.

He nodded, "try to stay out of trouble, all of you. We've got our first review and it's not good, but we can use it to our advantage" he announced.

He passed the paper to Lettie, she frowned down at it, "primitive? Criminal? Sir how could we possibly use this to help us?" She asked.

P.T winked, "from now on, we thrive off controversy, O'Malley, get right on it!" He said.

O'Malley nodded, "yes Sir" he took the paper and disappeared to P.T's office.

P.T turned to Anne, "are you alright?" He asked, Anne looked at him and nodded, "yes Sir, nothing I haven't experienced before Sir" she replied.

He thought this over, "just be careful, thing's are only going to get tougher from here on out, hold on tight because this is going to be a wild exciting ride" he warned her.

Anne looked at W.D, he looked a little worried by P.T's words but Anne already knew what she had gotten herself in for, "yes Sir" she said again.


	9. The Charity Gala

Phillip groaned when he opened his eyes, his head pounding from the night before, last night he had just returned from London where he toured with his newest play.

His brother and cousins had taken him out to celebrate and he had drank way too much and definitely done things he shouldn't have done, same as usual.

He fell a weight on his arm and wasn't surprised to see his arm wrapped around a mystery girl he didn't recognise asleep under the shirts.

He winced as he carefully extracted his arm from under her, he held his breath until his arm was free and she was still asleep, rewarding a sigh of relief.

He instinctively reached out for his bottle of whiskey he kept on the night stand, he smiled to see it was a new unopened bottle.

He cracked the lid and took a sip gasping at the familiar burn.

There was an aggressive knock at the door, "Phillip? Get up! It's the day of your premiere and you have that charity gala tonight" he yelled through the door.

He gave Phillip precisely 2 seconds before he swung the door and walked in, he groaned when he saw Phillip naked, only barely covered by the sheets with a naked girl next to him.

"When're you going to grow up?" His father asked, Phillip took another sip of the whiskey, "nice to see you again too father" he retorted in annoyance.

His father walked into the room and dropped a tuxedo on Phillip's drawers, "I would've sent one of the servants to wake you but today is far too important for you to mess up, I won't allow it, so get up!" He barked before walking out again with a slam of the door.

Phillip recoiled at the sound and slunk out of bed. He heard a rustle of the sheets as the girl woke up, "good morning Phil" she grinned behind him.

He didn't even turn to look her as he made his way across the room in his starkers, "you need to leave, your clothes are on the floor by the bed" he said, pulling on his undergarments.

The girl frowned, "go? Why do I need to go?" She asked, Phillip turned to her as he began to get dressed, "please, don't misunderstand this for anything more than it was, a one-night fling. That is all" he said coldly.

The girl pulled the sheets up around her chest, "did last night mean nothing to you?" She asked.

Phillip rolled his eyes and made his way other to his wallet, lying on his end table, "are you a prostitute or just a bar slut?" He asked pulling a wad of notes from his wallet.

The girl scoffed angrily, "excuse me?" She asked, Phillip sighed, "oh it doesn't matter either way, here's 200. You cannot tell anyone about last night, take this for your silence" he thrusted the money at her.

She dressed quickly and accepted the money, "you're a real jerk Carlyle" she said angrily.

Phillip laughed dryly, "yep, I've been told. Thank you for last night, bye" he shoved her out the door, closing it behind her.

He walked over to his mirror and looked at himself in disgust, he had just come back from London the night before boat and then train. He had had no time to change his clothes or fix his appearance and so he looked a mess.

Especially after the night Phillip had had the night before. All he could remember was drinking way too many mysterious drinks, going with his cousins to their favourite opium den where he smoked far too much. He had also sniffed a magical white powder that made him feel like he could do anything.

He wasn't quite sure at what point in the night he had picked up the pretty young blonde he had just evicted from his bed, nor how they got there for that matter.

Phillip pulled on last night's slacks as he glared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked awful, his face was a pale shade of grey, heavy bags circled his eyes, his hair was scruffy and uncut and he had a 5 O'clock shadow creeping along his jaw.

He would call a servant to help clean him up before tonight's event. He was a disgusting excuse for a man.

He hated himself and this pathetic life he was living but he couldn't break out of this circle of drinking, drugs and one night stands only to kick the girls out the next morning.

A few hours later he was looking better on the outside at least, he had been given a foul-tasting medicine that somehow seemed to make his skin glow a healthy white once more.

His hair had been cut and styled into a short smart pompadour, his face now washed and freshly shaved, the bags had disappeared from his eyes. He almost looked healthy.

All that ruined it was the dead look in his blue eyes, he couldn't do anything about that. They say the eyes are the doorway to the soul and he fully believed that, no matter what he did or how he looked on the outside he always felt dull and empty within.

His eyes constantly held the slightly glazed over, emotionless look inside them, mirroring Phillip's emotions perfectly.

Phillip sighed again at himself as he tied his bowtie, there was a singular knock at the door, "Master Carlyle?" A servant called.

Phillip didn't turn, "come in" he called, a female servant, Eva, walked in.

She curtseyed politely, "Mr Carlyle says the carriage is arriving shortly and he wants you to wait in the drawing room with him and your brother" she announced.

Phillip clenched his jaw, before he turned and offered Eva a fake smile, "great, thank you Eva, you may go" he dismissed.

She curtseyed again, "yes Sir" she said, quickly retreating out the door again.

Phillip walked to his end table, opening the drawer to reveal a large pocket flask.

He placed the flask next to his bottle of whiskey which he took a few hurried swigs at. He then filled the flask with the whiskey and shoved the flask in his breast pocket.

His father regarded him with disappointment as he entered the drawing room, he pulled out his pocket watch, "you took 4 minutes to get down here, what took you so long?" He asked.

Phillip bowed his head, "I'm sorry father, is the carriage here yet?" He asked, "not yet, fortunately" his father growled.

Phillip's mother stepped forward tugging on Phillip's jacket, "you dressed up nicely Phillip, isn't that right Howard?" She asked.

Phillip's father merely grumbled in response, "I still don't understand why you insist I come mother" Harvey, Phillip's younger brother complained.

Phillip shrugged, "I don't mind, if you don't want to go" he said, Harvey gestured to Phillip, "no. We are all going to support Phillip's big success, this gala is promoting Phillip's new play, isn't it exciting?" She asked.

Phillip's father scoffed, "he published another silly play, he hardly started his own multimillion business" he said.

Phillip frowned, "and how many plays have you published father?" He asked.

Maybe it was the buzz from the whiskey or maybe it was his arrogant father's sickening attitude but he wanted nothing more than to punch his father square in the face.

He settled for a swig from his flask instead, his mother regarded the flask sadly, "Phillip darling, couldn't you leave the flask behind for one night?" She sighed wearily.

Phillip shoved the flask back in his pocket quickly, "why? I don't have a problem" he shot defensively.

Reginald, another servant walked into the room and bowed, "your carriage awaits Sir" he announced to Phillip's father.

Phillip's father growled, "we don't have time for this nonsense, come on. Thank you Reginald" he nodded to the man.

They arrived outside one of the grandest theatres in New York, Phillip's father walked next to Phillip as they put on their best fake smiles, "this could be big for our family, screw this up and I'll kill you" his father hissed in his ear.

Phillip nodded and smiled to the Braxtons, "I won't screw up" Phillip hissed back through gritted teeth.

He let his father steer him through the theatre with a iron strong grip on his shoulder that was beginning to hurt, Phillip was bombarded with fake upper-class snobs like him.

He hated it, he had to be all fake and polite to every person he was introduced to, luckily the gala was starting soon so he and his family were able to avoid most of the socialising with the excuse that Phillip was the host of the gala and so couldn't be late.

Phillip made his way on stage and cleared his throat, he held a microphone to his mouth, "excuse me ladies and gentlemen" he announced to get everyone's attention.

The chatter died down as everyone turned their focus to Phillip, "thank you" he said charismatically.

He looked, unnerved, out at the hundreds of aristocrats watching him, "it is an honour to be able to host this fine event this evening. Tonight is dedicated to my latest play A Winter's Interjection, I would like to let you know all funding's are going to charity, now to start off the event Madame Loie's school of Ballet will perform a short dance for us" he said gesturing to the young ballerinas who floated delicately onto the stage.

He returned to his seat taking another sip from his flask as he watched the dancers. He couldn't believe children were opening such a prestigious event, "this is going to be a long night" he muttered bitterly to himself.

His mother heard him and slapped his knee scornfully.

After the performances were over Phillip and his family moved out into the foyer to socialise.

Phillip drained glass after glass of expensive champagne from the crystal flutes filled with golden liquid the waiters were handing out.

His mother grabbed his arm as he took another, "Phillip this is Mrs Wendell, Phillip here has just returned from London where his play was a huge success, isn't that right Phillip?" She asked.

Phillip flashed his charming smile at the older woman, "oh mother, you know I don't like to brag. It's a pleasure to meet you Ma'am" Phillip accepted the woman's hand pressing his lips to her knuckle.

Mrs Wendell laughed and fanned herself, "oh my. The pleasure is mine, I've heard you're the youngest playwright to earn your level of fame and success" she said.

Phillip laughed and held up his hands, "what can I tell you, it's true" he laughed lightly, "Phillip here is also one of the most sought-after bachelors in New York this year" his mother butted in.

Mrs Wendell nodded, "I can imagine that's true, Master Carlyle here is after all a rich, attractive young man, let me fetch my daughter, I can introduce the two of you" she disappeared into the crowds.

Harvey laughed next to Phillip, "and Phillip pulls once again" he roared, clapping Phillip on the back, "oh good lord, Howard. Harvey is squiffy, he's had more than enough to drink" Phillip's mother gasped.

Phillip smirked and gave his brother a sly wink, "we shall see" he whispered.

And that was the last thing he remembered of the evening.


	10. Phillip Meets P.T Barnum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: graphic depictions of violence in this chapter

Phillip woke coughing and spluttering as he had ice cold water poured over him, Harvey stood over him with a bucket.

Phillip groaned, the usual roar in his head throbbing, "what happened?" He asked.

Harvey laughed, "you got super drunk and passed out in the flowerbed" he said, Phillip lifted his head off the ground to see that he had indeed passed out in the garden.

He was covered in dirt and his mouth felt like a wasp's nest, "oh shit, the charity gala, I didn't-",

"Do something stupid and screw up the whole thing? No you didn't, the stupid things came after you got into the carriage home, dad's really disappointed in you" he finished.

Phillip laid his head down again with a thud, "when isn't he" he replied bitterly, Harvey laughed again, "that is true".

He sighed, "as much as I do like to see you suffer, father sent me out to wake you up, he wants to see you, he's in the drawing room" Harvey offered his hand.

He hauled Phillip to his feet, "oh god" Phillip gagged, he turned around and threw up all over his mother's prize petunias.

Harvey patted Phillip's back, "you really are pathetic" he said thoughtfully, Phillip glared at him as he wiped his mouth, "don't remind me, trust me I know" he groaned.

Harvey grinned enjoying Phillip's pain, "come on, you've got a beating waiting for you" he lead Phillip inside.

Phillip found his father sat behind his desk in the drawing room, he sighed and stood when Phillip entered, "shut the door" he barked.

Phillip winced but did as he said, "father I-" Phillip began but his father rounded the desk his hand raised to silence Phillip, "what the hell happened last night?" He demanded.

Phillip rubbed his neck, "I just had a little too much to drink" he said, Phillip's father pinched the bridge of his nose, "Phillip you're 24 for gods sakes! When are you going to grow up and stop all this tomfoolery?" His father roared.

Phillip said nothing, his father charged forward grabbing Phillip the collar, "you're so pathetic! You're a disgrace to the Carlyle name!" He screamed, shaking Phillip violently.

Phillip finally looked at him, his face angry, he could feel hot tears bubbling behind his eyelids, "I know!" He screamed back.

His father released him, "I know" he croaked, he turned his face away from his father so he wouldn't see his tears.

He leaned heavily on his father's desk, "I know I'm pathetic okay? I know I'm a failure, I know I'm not good enough. I don't know how to change, I don't know how to become a better man. Help me" Phillip sobbed.

His father lay his hand on his shoulder, for a split-second Phillip thought he would comfort him but he swung Phillip around and punched him hard in the face.

Phillip fell to the floor cradling his face, "real men don't cry. Real men don't ask for help" his father spat at him.

Phillip sobbed on the floor at the feet of his father, "I want to be better, I do but I don't know how and my life just keeps getting worse and worse and it's like I'm stuck in a pit and I can't get out. I'm so deep in that I can't even see the light but I've been put on the show to the rest of the world. Everyone's laughing at me as they watch me struggle and I just want to give up" Phillip gasped.

His father glowered down at him, Phillip shoved his face into the floor, he didn't have to look at his father to feel the shame burning through his skin.

His father kicked him hard in the gut, "what the hell did I do to have such a waste of space son like you?" He asked.

Phillip heard his footsteps getting quieter as he stormed away from him.

He lay in a pathetic heap on the floor, hugging himself and crying like the worthless shrew of a man he was.

He wished the earth would just swallow him whole, kill him and put him out of his misery.

His existence was dreary and torturous, he contemplated just killing himself and ending it all there and then, he lay there for what must've been hours but eventually he had to pick himself off the floor, get up and shove the feelings down.

He had lost count of the amount of times he'd picked himself off the floor after breaking down or being beaten by his father or both.

He wished he could stay there forever but like always he had things to do, today he was supposed to go to the first showing of his play in New York and as much as he didn't want to go he couldn't miss it.

He shoved his hand in his pockets as he trudged to his room, he frowned when he felt a small piece of paper in his pocket.

He pulled his hand out to reveal a slip of paper with the details of the girl he had been introduced to last night written on it.

He decided he would dress for his opening night tonight then pay her a visit for a little stress relief before he would put on a happy suit and fit back into the role he had to play.

He found a classy tuxedo waiting for him, laid out on the bed, "good luck Phillip" a note read next to it. He immediately recognised the handwriting as his mother's.

It wasn't much but it did cause him to smile a little before he balled up the paper and tossed it across the room, aimed for nowhere in particular.

He showered himself and changed into the suit quickly, he took a second look at the address, it wasn't far from the theatre his play was showing in.

It only took a short carriage ride to get there, then Phillip was stood outside a grand manor's gates, it might've been even bigger than Phillip's.

He whistled lowly impressed by it's stature, there was a servant stood on guard outside the gates, Phillip walked over to him, "who might you be Sir?" The servant asked turning to him.

He spoke with a British accent, how come Phillip didn't have British servants? He'd have to get on that…

Phillip showed him the piece of paper with her name and address written on it along with the message "you are always welcome to visit" with a heart next to it, "Phillip Carlyle, I'm here to see Miss Wendell" he said.

The guard tipped his head, "ah Mr Carlyle, my mistake, I should've recognised me, right this way" he nodded.

He lead Phillip into the manor and up a grand staircase, they paused outside a large double door, "this is Miss Wendell's living quarter, I presume you can handle the situation from here?" He asked.

Phillip nodded, "I can, thank you" he said, the servant bowed and disappeared down the staircase they had jut ascended.

Phillip knocked thrice and waited, the door swung open to reveal a confused Isabella, "Phillip?" She asked.

Phillip kissed her hand then her wrist, "hello Isabella" he said huskily, she blushed "oh my" she gasped.

Phillip kissed up her arm slightly, before pausing and giving her his classic charming smoulder, "may I come in?" He asked.

The flustered girl stepped aside and nodded, "please do" she breathed.

Two hours later Phillip emerged from the room buckling his slacks, "I'll write to you" he called over his shoulder.

He wouldn't nor did he have any intention of doing so.

He walked the rest of the way to the theatre, it wasn't far and he could use a walk to clear his head.

The casual affair had relieved some of Phillip's stress but it had only added to the burdening weight of Phillip's emotional turmoil and pain inside.

He kicked at the floor as he walked, he needed to stop. His father had been right.

He was a disgraceful excuse of a man, he needed to stop. All of it; the drinking, the drugs, the meaningless sex.

Nothing filled the empty hole within Phillip, he didn't know what would but he knew that what he was doing now, this reckless lifestyle was only worsening his pain.

It was like throwing gasoline on a fire in an attempt to douse out the flames, the flame inside Phillip only roared wilder and hotter. It did nothing to melt his icy heart, it just burnt and charred it instead.

He arrived outside of the theatre, he looked up and sighed. He really didn't want to watch it again, he had seen it far too many times now and the truth was it wasn't his best work.

He felt his flask in his pocket, "screw it" he muttered, he turned and stumbled away from the theatre.

He took out his flask and sipped at it as he walked, he had no clue where he was walking but he didn't have any intention of going into the theatre to see the monstrosity of his own play.

He settled on a low wall on the steps outside of the theatre where he proceeded to drink all evening, at least that way people might assume he had turned up for the event on their way out.

A few hours later he was approached by an older gentleman in a suit,

He jogged up the stairs towards Phillip, "Mr Carlyle, you produce this play?" He asked, Phillip didn't acknowledge the man fully when he spoke, "yes I did, indeed. Refunds are available at the front box office" he replied, slipping his flask back into his pocket.

The man chuckled and held out his hand, "P.T Barnum" he introduced himself. Only then did Phillip actually raise his head to look at him.

He was a handsome man dressed in a cheap but smart looking suit, he had a top hat and a silk green scarf. He had brown hair that was longer than Phillip's hidden under his hat and on his face he had an intriguing sparkle in his eyes, his mouth twisted into a smile with a hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

"From the circus?" Phillip asked in surprise, "yes, you- you've been?" P.T asked, his hand still outstretched to Phillip, Phillip laughed as he shook it, "god no" he laughed.

He dropped his smile and gave the man a curious look, "but I have seen the crowds" he added.

P.T's smile widened at this, "people leave your shows a great deal happier than when they came in, which is more than I can say for my play" Phillip joked with a smile but his statement was true, they both knew that.

"Yet you have no trouble selling tickets" he quipped cocking his head as he talked, Phillip shifted his weight. There was something odd about this man, something different, "that's because I'm selling virtue" Phillip answered honestly.

P.T licked the roof of his mouth, he looked towards the bar and back at Phillip, "can I buy you a drink?" He asked.

Phillip eyed P.T up, he intrigued him, he felt the want to talk to him more and the promise of alcohol called to Phillip, "alright" Phillip decided.


	11. Phillip Joins The Circus

The two men walked to the bar together, P.T took Phillip's hat and scarf as they entered the bar, Phillip undid his tie and took a seat on one of the barstools.

He smiled to the bartender, "two shots of whiskey on my friend here" he said cockily, P.T laughed and sat next to him.

The bartender placed two shot glasses in front of the two men and poured the whiskey, Phillip immediately picked up his glass draining it in one swift move shaking his head as the alcohol burned his throat.

P.T looked about before he turned to Phillip, "I wanna go after the carriage trade, present legitimate acts, expand our appeal, go after the snobs" he said leaning closer to Phillip.

Phillip looked at P.T for a moment then back at his empty glass, "if you only knew how suffocating they are" he replied.

P.T ate a peanut, "so come join the circus" he said as he chewed, "you clearly have a flair for show business".

Phillip frowned at P.T, the bartender refilled his drink, "teach me how to appeal to the high brows" P.T said, the two men downed their shots together.

Phillip slammed his glass down and looked at P.T, "are you serious?" He asked, P.T hummed in response.

His head now turned to look at Phillip fully, "Mr Barnum, I can't just run off and join the circus" Phillip said, "why not? Sounds thrilling doesn't it?" P.T asked, he knocked on the bar.

The bartender refilled their glasses again, "let's just say I find it a lot more comfortable admiring your show from afar" Phillip placed his hand on P.T's shoulder before facing forward again.

P.T smiled, "comfort, the enemy of progress" he said, he threw a peanut into the air, catching it in his mouth, Phillip turned back to him, "you understand that just associating with you could cost me my inheritance?" Phillip asked sliding his glass to P.T.

P.T frowned, "oh it could cost you more than that. You'd be risking everything, but on the other hand well…" He slid the glass back in front of Phillip, "you might just find yourself a free man" he said.

Phillip turned back to the bar, the men drained their glasses once more. P.T pointed to a man sitting at the piano at the back and whistled.

He began to play a song, Phillip winced grabbing at his head as it pounded with the sound of the piano and the worsening hangover.

"Right here, right now. I've put the offer out" P.T sang turning to Phillip, Phillip watched him with curiosity, "I don't wanna chase you down, I know you see it" P.T leaned forward lifting his finger in front of Phillip's face, his eyes followed it.

He ran his fingers across the table then pointed to himself, "you run with me and I can cut you free" he snipped the air in front of Phillip.

Phillip frowned, P.T was like no one he had ever met before. "Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in" P.T slammed his hand on the bar.

Phillip turned back to face forward again, the bartender slid the bottle of whiskey to P.T who flipped a coin to the barman.

P.T began refilling their glasses once more as he sung, "so trade your typical for something colourful" he slid the full shot glass in front of Phillip again.

"And if it's crazy, live a little crazy" he shrugged and threw the bottle of whiskey to the bartender. Phillip frowned down at the shot, the idea excited him but the risk was too big.

P.T picked up his hat and placed it on his head with a tap, "you can play it sensible, a king of conventional" P.T sang.

Phillip watched the man with a frown, he drained the glass as P.T turned around, "or you can risk it all and see" P.T finished before drinking his own glass.

He then turned Phillip around in his stool, "don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play?" He asked tugging on Phillip's bowtie.

He backed away and removed his hat, "cause I got what you need so come and take the ride" he placed his hat on the table and flipped another coin to the bartender.

He pushed a chair towards P.T, he jumped off the chair and onto the table to face Phillip.

Phillip's eyes widened as he watched P.T in shock, "cause you can do like you do or you do like me" he sang, turning atop of the table.

"Stay in the cage or you can finally take the key" he kicked his hat up catching it in his hand and transferring it to his head, "oh damn! Suddenly you're free to fly" P.T sang.

The bartender skidded across the bar in front of Phillip, "it'll take you to the other side" P.T finished stepping off the table, he spun Phillip around to face the bar and poured him another drink.

Phillip didn't want to admit it but P.T had piqued his interest but there was something about him he didn't trust he was so careless and crazy.

"Okay, my friend. You want to cut me in" Phillip pointed to him, "well I hate to tell you but it just won't happen" Phillip sang sharply, he removed P.T's hand from his shoulder, he slid the glass in front of P.T.

"So thanks but no." he drummed his hands on the bar and walked away, "I think I'm good to go" he sang over his shoulder as he walked to the exit, "cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in" he gestured to P.T before he picked up his hat and scarf.

That was a huge lie but P.T didn't need to know this, "now I admire you, and that whole show you do" he sang as he wrapped his scarf around his neck.

He grabbed his hat and coat, walking back to P.T, "you're onto something, really it's something" he pushed his hat on his head.

He ran his hand among the bar picking up the stray peanuts, "but I live among the swells and we don't pick up peanut shells" he sneered at P.T as he dropped the peanuts at his feet.

He dusted his hands and patted P.T's shoulder, "I'll have to leave that up to you" he walked away throwing his coat on top of the piano before turning back, "don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play?" He sang swinging himself around one of the columns.

Another huge lie.

He leaned against the bar again, "cause I got what I need and I don't need to take the ride" he kicked over the stool then climbed on top of the bar, "I don't need to see the other side".

He waved his arms as he looked down at P.T, "so go and do like you do, I'm good to do like me" he tap-danced, showing off a talent he wouldn't have if he was a man like P.T. If he hadn't been born into the wealth P.T, a wild stranger Phillip had met before, was asking him to leave behind.

He may not like it but he was a rich upper-class man with a reputation he had to try and sustain. He was a Carlyle.

"Ain't in a cage so I don't need to take the key" he strutted across the bar, the bartender laying down shot glasses after him.

Phillip hopped from the bar to the stool to the floor, "oh damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine?" He grabbed his hat and walked to the piano, "I don't need to see the other side" he grabbed his coat.

P.T placed the two shot glasses he grabbed on top of the piano, he patted the man playing the keyboard's shoulder, "now is this really how you like to spend your days? Whiskey, misery and parties and plays?" P.T asked looking at Phillip. No, it wasn't.

Phillip clenched his jaw and turned back to him, "if I were mixed up with you I'd be the talk of the town" he pointed at P.T and slammed the piano lid down.

He was starting to get scared. P.T's words were lighting something inside of him, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Hope.

But he couldn't give in, it'd be impossible, what would his father do if he tried to escape again?

"Disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns" Phillip scoffed grabbing his drink.

One of his cousins, David, had gone to P.T's circus, he had gotten in a fight there and come home to tell Phillip all about what he'd saw.

Freaks of all different kinds, they acted like savages attacking David and his friends. Especially this one black guy, he described him as a beast, he had chased David down the street.

P.T turned to watch Phillip as he walked away, "but you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little, just let me give you the freedom to dream" P.T sang after Phillip.

Phillip frowned as P.T walked after him. What a concept. Happiness, freedom, dreams?

"And it'll wake you up, and cure your aching, take your walls and start 'em breaking. Now that's a deal that seems worth taking" P.T stopped the bartender when he went to pour another drink, instead he watched Phillip walk away from him.

They wrapped their scarfs around their neck in perfect sync. Phillip froze as he thought hard on what P.T said, "but I guess I'll leave that up to you" P.T sang, leaning happily on the bar, he knew he had won.

Phillip's eyes widened slightly, he grinned. A real smile. Maybe this is just what he needed. Maybe this'll be the thing to break his painful circle and make him a better man.

He turned around, "well it's intriguing but to go would cost me greatly" he threw his coat onto the bar, "so what percentage of the show would I be taking?" He asked throwing his hat down too.

P.T knocked on the bar and pointed to Phillip, "well fair enough you'd want a piece of all the action", the pianist started playing again.

The bartender laid out 8 shot glasses, "I'd give you seven, we could shake and make it happen" P.T sang as the bartender poured the whiskey.

Phillip unravelled his scarf as he walked towards P.T again, "I wasn't born this morning, eighteen would be just fine" he demanded.

P.T laughed, "why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime?" He asked, the bartender laid the shots out in front of them.

"Fifteen" Phillip countered, "I'd do eight" P.T fired, "Twelve!" Phillip ordered, "maybe nine" P.T shrugged. The pianist stopped.

Every time they spoke they took a step closer and a new shot glass was placed in front of them.

Phillip crossed his arms, "ten" he said, this was his last offer he thought. If P.T didn't take this he was leaving.

P.T studied Phillip, the bartender laid the last two drinks in front of them.

Phillip and P.T locked eyes, Phillip's eyebrows raised, P.T looking at Phillip begrudgingly, they stared each other out until P.T sighed and looked at the bartender, he shrugged at P.T.

"Oh" P.T patted his pockets for some money to pay the bartender. Phillip, admittedly a little smugly pulled out a 50 slamming it on the table.

The bartender eagerly accepted it, "Sir, it looks you have yourself a junior partner" Phillip held out his hand.

P.T smirked and picked up the shot glasses in front of them, "what I have is an over compensated apprentice" he gave one of the glasses to Phillip.

They clinked glasses before throwing their heads back and swallowing the whiskey in one. The pianist started playing once more.

They slammed their glasses on the bar again as they broke back into song, "don't you wanna get away" they spun away from each other picking up the next shot.

Phillip surged forward as he sang "to a whole" P.T drank his shot before he pointed to Phillip, "new" he sang as Phillip drank his shot.

They grabbed the next shot, "part you're gonna play" they sang in duet, Phillip pointed to P.T "cause I got" Phillip sang. P.T once again drank then pointed to Phillip, "what you need" P.T sang.

They grabbed their scarves and the last shot, "so come with me and take the ride" they sang before downing their shots, "to the other side" Phillip and P.T finished taking a step closer to each again. The pianist finished with a flourish.

The men stared at each other panting from their singing and dancing. The alcohol hit Phillip like a brick wall.

He leant against the bar heavily, "whoa" he laughed, he looked up to see P.T doubled over the bar too, "maybe that wasn't the best of ideas" he chuckled.

Phillip shook his head grabbing his throat, drinking 4 shots of whiskey in 10 seconds burned like a fire, "no" he rasped.

The men laughed as they took a second to balance themselves, Phillip was beyond drunk. The whole bar was spinning.

P.T stumbled over to Phillip using the bar to steady himself, "c'mon do you want to see it?" He asked.

Phillip grinned, "the circus?" He asked, P.T nodded clapping him on the back as he did so, "yeah, they'll still be performing the show so you can get a little taste" he said.

Phillip rubbed his hands, he felt excited at the aspect of seeing the show that created so much buzz.

He had just made the deal of a lifetime, this would make or break him, "let's do it" he agreed.


	12. Anne

P.T led Phillip into the back of the theatre where the troupe who weren't performing hung around, talking to their friends, practicing or just chilling out.

Phillip's jaw dropped, "holy…" He gasped trailing off, too shocked to even finish his sentence.

P.T grinned, "it's pretty great huh?" He clapped Phillip on the back, Phillip nodded silently, his mouth still hung open.

"Come on I'll take you to the show" P.T pushed Phillip, Phillip looked down to see the smallest man he had ever seen. He was no taller than a child but he was clearly an adult man.

The small man looked up at him defiantly as if to say, "what're you looking at?". Phillip took a step back and he stumbled almost walking into the tallest man he'd ever seen, Phillip was surprised at the contrasts between the two, the small man finished at the top of Phillip's hip whereas the tall man towered way over him.

Phillip took another step back, this one a little more careful, "watch out for Oliver" P.T laughed.

Phillip nearly got set alight as two girls blew flames from their mouths, Phillip rolled under the fire onto a stage block, landing safely on the other side, "Frank! Dean! Try not to kill the new guy" P.T followed Phillip.

Phillip held onto his hat a little tighter, "this is incredible" he marvelled, P.T mirror his action, securing his hat a little more on his head, "I'm glad you think so, follow me" he said.

Phillip's eyes remained on the wonderful sights before him as he followed P.T up a staircase at the back, Phillip hummed the song he and P.T had just sung as he did so.

He stopped and stared in wonder when they reached the first flat part of the stairs, he gaped as he watched a woman with a beard walk down the stairs past him and P.T.

P.T grinned, "Lettie Lutz, meet Phillip Carlyle" he gestured to Phillip, Phillip took his hat off and bowed to Lettie, "it's my pleasure... Wow" he gasped.

Lettie roared with laughter then continued down the stairs again, "did you see the look on his face?" She laughed to a man who seemed to be covered head to toe in tattoos.

P.T ran up the stairs, "come on through here!" He yelled back to Phillip.

Phillip grinned and chased after him, they walked through a red curtain to reveal a balcony overlooking the entire theatre.

Everyone applauded and cheered around him, below him Phillip could see bright colours but no one occupied the brightly coloured circus ring. A soft melody played over the roar of the circus that Phillip could barely hear.

The crowd cheered and applauded around Phillip yet he couldn't see anyone below him in the ring, he scanned the theatre searching for the person that was gaining so much attention, until he saw her.

He took a step forward and held his hat in his hands as any gentleman should do in the presence of a lady. If he could even call her that, she was better than a lady, she was almost otherworldly, graced with beauty and divinity beyond compare to any other.

She swung from her feet upside down suspended by some sort of metal swing. Her appearance fascinated Phillip. She had bright pink hair and wore a purple leotard covered in sparkles, Phillip could see the glitter dusted along her cheekbones and jaw lit up by the spotlights and warm glow of the circus.

The most peculiar thing was her skin, her skin was the colour of caramel. Phillip had never seen someone of her complexion before, he lived in high society where he was taught people of her kind were filth, not worth touching let alone acknowledging yet Phillip had the strongest desire to hold out his hand and brush along her face with his fingers.

She was the most beautiful thing Phillip had ever seen in his entire life, he had never seen anyone who looked even half as good as she did, everything stopped as she came towards him.

Time seemed to freeze around Phillip, the only thing that moved was her as she came slowly towards him. The roar of the crowds quietened to a muffled whisper, the soft melody playing was the only thing Phillip could hear. Everything in the theatre blurred around Phillip and the only thing his eyes could focus on was her.

When she looked at him and their eyes met Phillip's heart stopped. It literally skipped a beat. He felt as if all the wind had been knocked from his lungs.

She had the most mesmerising eyes Phillip had ever seen, they looked like pools of rich chocolate sparkling with specks of gold. Phillip could look into those eyes for the rest of his life and never grow tired of them.

Her brows arched ever so slightly as she watched Phillip with curiosity, her face was beautiful beyond words. She looked perfect, like a work of art an artist had devoted their entire life creating. She hadn't a single flaw or blemish.

Phillip didn't feel worthy of her undivided raw attention, he swallowed thickly as she watched him and he her.

The magical encounter only lasted a few seconds but that moment then was the best moment in Phillip's entire life. She made him feel something within this brief meeting, one that he had never felt before.

He felt something powerful stirring inside him, the look he shared with the flawless trapeze artist as she swung towards him whilst he stood there on the balcony was one that Phillip knew he would never forget.

He felt it within his entire body. His skin tingled with electricity, his hair stood on ends, his heart skipped, he couldn't breathe, his stomach was filled with butterflies.

After weeks, months, years of feeling sadness, shame or nothing at all this powerful emotion stirring within him was a little overwhelming but he never wanted that feeling or moment to end.

There was something special about that girl, something he couldn't quite comprehend yet but would grow to realise over time. She was the one for him. He didn't fully understand his feelings he felt in the moment but he found himself vowing to find her. To have her.

He wanted to know her name and everything about her, her very essence captivated him and he needed more.

Phillip blinked and she was gone, she swung down and out of sight with an air of mystery. She had appeared and disappeared out of nowhere. She was a mystery to Phillip, one that he wouldn't mind spend the rest of forever puzzling over and figuring out.

He didn't take his eyes off the spot she had previously occupied, without turning he asked "who's that?" aloud, no louder than a whisper. He had forgotten P.T stood behind him, the question was more of a statement than a question.

'Who's that' the statement, 'who's that' as in she had completely taken his breath away and he would spend the rest of his existence wondering about her if he wasn't to find her again.

But he would. He had to.

P.T grinned at the stunned look on Phillip's face. It was a look he recognised quite well, the look he had given Charity many times in their life. It was a look of utter lovestruck awe, "come on, I'll introduce you" he clapped Phillip on the shoulder.

Phillip jumped a little at the realisation that P.T was in fact still there, stood just behind him.

When Phillip's legs couldn't move P.T pulled him back, they walked along the passage behind the back row, behind the cheering crowd and down a new staircase.

Despite how drunk Phillip had been just a second ago due to the insane amount of alcohol he had consumed in the last hour alone Phillip felt completely sober.

Seeing that girl had a similar effect on Phillip as drinking 3 quadrupole shots of coffee. Seeing her had sobered Phillip up on the spot and filled him with a roaring rush of energy.

He felt better in that moment than he thought he could ever feel. The feeling was a greater feeling than any drug, drink or careless sexual encounter could make him feel.

"Hey, hey! No one's buying hats back here! Get out front! Go!" P.T ordered pointing to a merchant as he ran down the staircase.

Phillip thundering down after him, his mind raced, he was about to meet the mysterious girl.

P.T gestured to a pair who jogged in off the stage towards them P.T approached the two black siblings quickly, a brother and a sister. The sister, Phillip recognised as the girl he had just seen.

"W.D, Anne. I want to introduce my newest hire, Mr Phillip Carlyle" P.T announced.

W.D stretched his hand for Phillip to shake, "it's a pleasure to meet you" he said. His voice was rich and deep, he was the beast his cousin had told him about.

Only he didn't seem like a beast, he gave Phillip a smile that was friendly enough and his manner was calm and pleasant. He was not at all like the man his cousin had described.

Phillip accepted his hand, he had a strong grip, "yeah, pleasure" Phillip said hurriedly, as nice as W.D was he wasn't the one Phillip really wanted to meet, it was his sister.

He turned his head, way too fast to look at Anne, the breathtaking girl who had caused the violent reaction in Phillip's body, making him feel strange emotions he felt confused by.

She looked down at her hands as she unravelled some sort of pink material on her wrists before she looked up again, directly into Phillip's eyes. Phillip felt his heart pound, with just one look she had reduced Phillip to a nervous wreck, "and what is your act Mr Carlyle?" She asked cooly, before she looked down at her wrists again.

Her voice was soft and sweet, with a hint of a Southern accent. Phillip hesitated basking in her presence, he realised she had asked him a question, one that he needed to answer. But moving his lips was more difficult than Phillip thought it could be, his mouth and brain felt disconnected and didn't seem to be working together at all.

His mouth opened and closed like a fish, "I- I don't have... an act" he stammered slowly as he stared at her captivating face. She was beautiful beyond compare to any being on this planet.

P.T's eyes cut between Anne and Phillip, he grinned as he stood hands on his hips.

W.D however looked a little less pleased, his friendly smile now replaced with a protective stare.

Anne laughed lightly, "everyone's got an act" she smirked. The half smile made Phillip feel weak at the knees, how she had done that to him he did not know but he felt his body turn to jelly.

She kept her eyes interlocked with his as she walked smoothly in front of him, she looked him up and down once before she tore her eyes away from him and walked away.

The way she looked him up and down was so cool and casual but it sent shivers down Phillip's spine. She had this unwavering confidence Phillip wished he had, but it wasn't showboaty or too in your face, it was a subtle and modest confidence she held within herself.

What the hell was happening? How could one girl have such an effect on Phillip, how could she make him feel again when nothing he did had been able to do just that in years.

He turned to watch her walk away, a light purple cape flowed and billowing behind her as she strutted away.

She was tall and elegant and perfect like a gazelle.

"Mr Barnum!" A short man panted running up to the three of them, but Phillip didn't turn or look away from Anne to acknowledge him.

He was desperate to drink in every last bit of Anne he could, "yeah?" P.T asked as he grinned at an oblivious Phillip.

"You better come see this" the man said, out of the breath from running. He walked away, P.T followed.

Phillip didn't notice them go, his eyes were still fixated on the spot Anne had just been before she disappeared out of sight.

"Phillip keep up!" P.T called as he walked away. Phillip hadn't noticed W.D, Anne's protective bigger, stronger, older brother, take a threatening step towards him.

Phillip turned to be met face to chest with W.D, Phillip stepped hastily back and looked up to see his stern face, he crossed his arms over his chest. His message clear.

Phillip raised his eyebrows and breathed out the air he had been holding, the action casual enough but Phillip feared the man in front of him. He could tell he would do anything for Anne and if he saw Phillip as a threat well let's just say Phillip was glad to have been called by P.T, he ran after the man grateful to escape W.D's glare.


	13. Phillip

Anne performed her normal routine same as usual with W.D, nothing out of the ordinary until he launched her to the swing.

Her legs wrapped around the swing, she hung upside down and swung across the theatre.

When she started to reach the balcony she noticed an unfamiliar man standing in front of P.T.

She watched him as she flew through the air closer to him. When she looked at him everything stopped.

Time slowed down around her, she felt like she was frozen in spot in front of him.

Anne had never seen such a handsome man in her life, he was tall and white with short brown hair styled back off his face.

He had deep blue eyes, it was a weird sight and her brain struggled to comprehend what she saw but she saw his eyes completely change.

When she first looked at him they were empty and dark, as if they lacked emotion entirely. It was almost unsettling to look at man with such dead eyes.

But the second he saw her something flickered inside his eyes, they completely transformed.

The dead, empty eyes sparked with life, turning a much brighter more beautiful shade of blue, like the sea.

They were suddenly filled with such emotion, it was so sudden Anne began to question if they were any different in the first place.

They bore into hers with such hunger and curiosity, they were stunning. She'd never eyes like his before.

It was like looking at a cloudless blue sky being perfectly reflected upon a crystal-clear ocean.

The man removed his hat as Anne came swinging towards him, Anne couldn't tear her eyes away from his face.

She never thought she could find a white man so attractive but he captivated her fully, she needed to see more of him.

It was like a desperate urge in her gut, no more than that. A primate instinct to not take her eyes off him even for a second.

Anne could no longer hear the roaring of the crowds, or her own panting breath as her body shook from the extensivity of trapeze.

Her body reacted to the sight of the mysterious white man with P.T immediately, she felt her skin tingle as if she'd been hit by lighting.

Electricity coursed through her veins, her heart somersaulted inside her chest, her breath caught in her lungs, her mind went completely blank.

All her previous thoughts dissolved, she had one thought and one thought only and that was who is that man?

She studied him with curiosity, she outreached her hand towards him, if only she could graze her fingers against him. A touch just a touch was all she needed.

But time sped back to normal and she fell away from him, gravity taking control.

She scolded herself immediately for acting so irrationally, how could her mind lose all it's content like that as if she was some sort of cretin. She had tried to touch him, where did that come from? She had acted upon insult without giving it any second thought.

She was supposed to let go from the swing and jump for W.D's waiting arms but she needed another look at that man.

She missed the jump when she reached the top of her arc but instead gripped the swing tighter with her legs, her eyes searching for the man as she swung back towards the balcony.

She moved her body when she reached the spot she had been when she linked eyes with the mystery man so she would have enough momentum to complete the trick and actually leap into W.D's arms when she swung back.

This time when she swung towards her brother she did let go and he grabbed her, a confused frown on his face.

He swung them across the theatre before he let go, him and Anne free falling to the ground below.

The audience gasped but at the last minute the troupe formed below them, ready to catch their friends safely.

Anne and W.D bowed quickly before they jogged out of the rink to behind the curtains back stage again.

W.D turned to her, "what was that? You missed the jump" he questioned.

Anne's mind searched for an excuse, she couldn't tell her brother the truth. She wasn't even sure what the truth was, luckily she saw P.T walk towards her and W.D. But he was followed in hot pursuit by the man on the balcony.

"W.D, Anne. I want to introduce my newest hire, Mr Phillip Carlyle" P.T called gesturing to the handsome man next to him.

Phillip. She repeated his name over and over in his head, why she wasn't quite sure. Phillip.

W.D smiled friendlily, he reached out his hand, "it's a pleasure to meet you" he said.

Anne studied Phillip closely as he accepted W.D's hand, shaking it once, "yeah, pleasure" he said distractedly.

He turned to look at her, her stomach filled with nerves as he turned his gaze on her.

She lowered her eyes to her wrist, she began to unravel her wristbands, the perfect excuse to spare her a second to take a deep breath and prepare herself.

She looked up at Phillip, into his eyes, "and what is your act, Mr Carlyle?" She asked coolly, it was too much to handle, she looked down again.

Despite her calm demeanour inside she was a nervous wreck, she was confused how one man's presence could make her feel so uncollected.

Or how that one look, now two could elicit such strong powerful emotions, ones Anne wasn't even aware she had.

Phillip paused, Anne feared she had asked the wrong thing, or worse that he saw through her front to the fluster of feelings she felt towards him inside.

"I don't have an act" he stammered, he sounded nervous, was he nervous?

Anne laughed, she hoped it was as light and breezy as she had intended it to be, "everyone's got an act" she smiled.

The smile was genuine yet only revealed a small fraction of the random burst of happiness that exploded inside Anne.

Her eyes lingered in Phillip's gaze as she stepped forward, walking past him. She took the chance to look him up and down.

He was only an inch shorter than her and had a strong athletic build, not quite the same as W.D's or Constantine's but it was obvious Phillip was in good shape with muscles hidden underneath a smart charcoal suit.

She looked into his beautiful blue eyes one more time before she forced herself to look forward.

She walked quickly forward, intention in every step, she imagined he was watching her as she left.

For some odd reason that filled her with a sense of excitement and a foreign rush of a feeling she wasn't familiar with.

She rushed to her room once she was out of Phillip's eyeline, she piled into the room throwing herself against the door as soon as she stepped over the threshold.

Her chest heaved and she was out of breath despite the fact she was very fit, physically. Although she had practically ran through the theatre, up the stairs and along the corridor to her room she should not be tired by this in the slightest.

"What the hell was that?" She asked out loud, the memory of her and Phillip's eyes interlocking as he stood on the balcony resurfaced in her mind again.

She couldn't get those piercing blue eyes out of her head and she had no clue why.


	14. Phillip Moves Temporarily To The Circus

After P.T had taught Phillip how to deal with the crowds he lead him to his office, it had a window that overlooked the ring. P.T settled in his chair behind the desk and motioned for Phillip to sit in the one opposite to him, "so what do you think?" He asked.

Phillip smiled, "I think I was wrong and owe you an apology. I talked down to you before, thinking I was better than you but what you do here is amazing. These people have talents you'd struggle to find anywhere else, they are magnificent and I respect them and the work you do here" he said.

P.T chuckled, "I'm glad to see you've come to your senses. You see these people as you have pointed out are indeed magnificent, it's just a shame the rest of society can't see them that way. They've all spent their lives hiding in the shadows, shamed and outcast by the world. I want to give them the opportunity to show the world that they're so much more than people think, here they can show the rest of the world how wrong they were to misjudge them because they all harbour amazing talents and gifts".

Phillip was moved by the passion P.T spoke about the members of his circus with, "I know I've only seen a glimpse of what you do here, but being here tonight. Seeing these wonderful unique people, I've felt something inside of me that I haven't felt in years. From an outsider's point of view my life must look great. Fame, fortune, riches, an inheritance larger than your wildest dreams but it isn't. It's an incredibly depressing, lonely life to live. Thank you for helping me break away from all that Barnum".

P.T leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk, "what're you going to do now? I'm assuming you can't return home" he guessed, Phillip sighed heavily and shook his head, "once news spreads that I've joined you here at the circus I'm sure my father will disown me and I shall be estranged. I honestly have no clue, I can go to the bank first thing in the morning and try and withdraw my money before my father can close my account, buy an apartment near here but I don't know where I'll go tonight".

P.T nodded slowly, "well you can stay here tonight, and for as long as you need to. All of them live here and I have more than enough spare rooms, you're more than welcome to take one until you can find yourself an apartment" he offered.

"Wait really? That would be great Sir thank you!" He leant across the desk and took P.T's hand, shaking it vigorously with gratitude.

P.T laughed, "come on, I'll show you where your office is and then we'll find you somewhere" he stood.

Phillip's office was just next door to his, an empty room waiting to be filled. It had an office desk and a chair like P.T's and that was all, Phillip also had a window overlooking the ring which Phillip was extremely grateful for. He would like to be able to watch the troupe practicing and performing whilst he was busy at work with paperwork and finances.

Phillip looked out his window at the now empty ring, "so, what did you think of Anne?" P.T asked from behind him.

Phillip turned slowly, his cheeks pink as he remembered how beautiful she had looked, how she had made his heart race, "she's got exceptional talent" Phillip said nonchalantly.

P.T nodded in agreement, "indeed, she is one of my most treasured acts here. The crowd loves her, well most of them" he frowned at the last part.

Phillip's palms began to sweat as he replayed the moment they had met over again in his mind, "so, what can you tell me about her?" Phillip asked in a manner he hoped was casual.

P.T chuckled, he saw right through Phillip and his relaxed front, he noticed how Phillip's voice had softened slightly on the word 'her', he could see the nerves in his eyes, "Anne Wheeler, 21. There's not much I can tell you I'm afraid, W.D is very protective of her. She seems reluctant to open up to anyone, although she has grown increasingly close with Lettie, the woman you passed on your way in. She has become something of a best friend to Anne. You've really taken a liking to her haven't you?" He asked.

Phillip crossed his arms over his chest, "I suppose she is rather beautiful" he said, P.T laughed, "oh come on I saw the look on your face when you first laid eyes on her, has the great Phillip Carlyle finally met his match?" He teased.

Phillip's face turned from pink to a deep red, "okay so I was a little taken aback by her, she was swinging upside down 40 feet off the ground" he defended, P.T studied the embarrassed look on Phillip's face, "you know I had the exact same look on my face the day I saw my own wife walking down the aisle on our wedding day. She took my breath away, just like Anne took yours" he said wistfully.

Phillip's blush deepened, he had never blushed over anyone before. "I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself" he mumbled, he turned away from the window and quickly walked over to his office door.

P.T watched after him in amusement, "well are you going to show me to my room then?" Phillip asked. P.T just laughed and nodded, "come on lover boy" he joked before he led Phillip down the hall.

Phillip lay in his bed that night and found that no matter how hard he tried he could not get to sleep, his mind was restless, filled with thoughts of Anne Wheeler.

Everytime he closed his eyes he saw her, either looking at him with that mildly intrigued look on her face as she came swinging towards him, as if he was some new species of animal she'd never seen before, or the smile she gave him as she teased him lightly.

There was something about the way she looked him up and down as she left along with that smirk that kept Phillip awake, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

This was crazy he was Phillip Carlyle, the heartbreaker. The man who would sleep with women only to cast them out of his bed the next morning not a damn given.

Yet here he was tossing and turning over a girl he had just met that day. What was happening to him?

When 1am hit Phillip gave up on attempts to sleep, he thought about the circus and P.T and what he could bring to the circus.

The circus seemed to be doing reasonably well without Phillip's help, it had been slowly attracting more and more people since it's open. There was something about watching the unordinary perform risky and daring stunts or showcasing their skills that seemed to grab the general public's attention.

There was just the problem of the protestors that came with the crowds. The larger the audience the larger the hate. As P.T had said to Phillip earlier that night when they had faced the angry crowd of protesters nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd.

Phillip had to figure out a way he could do something about the hecklers, if only he could get them to see that the people of the circus were more than just "freaks".

Suddenly it struck him, it was as if a lightbulb went off in his mind. Phillip leapt out of bed, lit a gaslamp and raced to his office, light in hand.

He searched the doors frantically, finally he found some paper and ink he sat down and dipped the pen in the ink before he began to write.

"Dear Elizabeth" Phillip wrote


	15. Blushing At Breakfast

Anne was eating breakfast with Lettie and Constantine when P.T and Phillip walked in.

P.T clapped Phillip's shoulder, "may I have your attention for a moment?" He asked over everyone's chatter.

Anne turned her head to look at him when she saw Phillip, his eyes were already on her.

She turned red and lowered her head quickly, she stared at her toast as she blushed fiercely.

P.T didn't notice and continued onward, "I would like to introduce you all to our newest member of the circus, Phillip Carlyle. He will be helping me take care of the business aspect and sorting our finances et cetera. I expect you to all treat him with respect and kindness" he announced.

Lettie looked at Anne, "what's up with you?" She asked, Anne laughed nervously, "n-nothing, what do you mean?" She asked.

She stole a hurried look at Phillip, his attention had been stolen away from her as he shook hands with a few of the troupe.

He smiled and laughed, the sight made Anne's heart pound. Lettie followed her gaze and gasped, "you're blushing, you're nervous… Phillip Carlyle?" She asked in confusion.

Anne scoffed and looked back at Lettie, "I haven't the slightest clue what you're on about" Anne lied, the pinkness of her cheeks giving her away.

Lettie raised her eyebrows, unimpressed, "be careful with him Anne, Phillip Carlyle is somewhat of a scandal" she whispered, Anne frowned, "what do you mean a scandal?" She asked.

Constantine glanced at Phillip before he leaned forward across the table, "do you know who he is? He's the most eligible bachelor in New York but he's infamously known for breaking girls' hearts" he whispered.

Anne looked at Phillip again, his eyes were back on her. He smiled and raised his hand in greeting, Anne looked back at her friends, "that can't be true, he's so nice" she said.

Lettie shook her head, "just be careful is all I'm saying" she said and returned to her eggs.

W.D walked past Phillip into the kitchen where he began preparing his breakfast, he watched Phillip disapprovingly as he began cooking.

Phillip excused himself and made his way across the room to Anne, she blushed again and busied herself with her toast so he wouldn't catch her looking.

His shadow fell across her face, he cleared his throat, catching her attention again, "uhh is anyone sitting here?" He asked awkwardly.

W.D raced to the chair, sitting down hurriedly, "now they are, move along white boy" he said, Anne shot W.D an annoyed look, "W.D!" She scolded.

Phillip held up his hands, "no worries, it's cool" he laughed nervously and walked around the table to sit next to Constantine, he sat right in front of Anne.

She felt his eyes on her again, she looked up shyly and met his gaze through the strands of hair that hung down over her eyes.

All Phillip could think about was how incredible she looked out of costume, her long curly locks fascinated him.

She looked so different in her ordinary clothes, she wore a simple cotton dress and a shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her long brunette hair flowed freely, a few deviant locks falling over her face to hide her shyness.

She was so confident and smooth last night, now she looked how he felt, but oddly enough he found her nerves and flustered state endearing.

"Hi" Anne said nervously, "hi" Phillip laughed, they shared a look between the two of them and Phillip swore he could feel the electricity between them,

"Hey, nice to meet you again, I'm W.D, Anne's big brother, this is Constantine and Lettie. We're all very close with our Anne, isn't that right Constantine?" W.D interrupted.

Phillip looked at the big guy sitting next to him, he was covered head to toe in tattoos. He cracked his knuckles, offering Phillip an unnerving sideways smile, "that's right" he said coldly.

Anne looked at Lettie for help, she sighed, "leave the poor guy alone, so how'd you end up joining the circus Carlyle? I didn't think this would be your kind of crowd" Lettie asked.

He laughed, "neither did I to be perfectly honest but I hated that life I was living, I needed desperately to escape. At first I was a little scared about what would happen to me, I still am but then I saw what you all do here and it's amazing. I want to change, I didn't like who I was before" he said.

Anne felt a little curious at this, everyone else seemed to know something she didn't, who was Phillip Carlyle?

Constantine nodded, "I can see why you might want that" he said, W.D snickered, Anne shot them both warning looks.

She moved the hair out of her eyes and tucked the loose strands behind her ears, "well I think that's great" she said with a smile.

Phillip was sure that smile was the single most beautiful thing to exist in this world.

He felt his cheeks warm slightly, he bowed his head to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks, "thank you Miss Wheeler" he answered politely.

He wasn't used to feeling so nervous around a girl like this, he was usually so suave and cool and yet he was blushing here like a smitten schoolgirl simply because Anne Wheeler had smiled at him.

Phillip looked up again to watch her as she ate, "I thought you were incredible last night".

Now it was Anne's turn to blush, "you ain't barely seen anything, that was nothing" she answered quietly.

Phillip raised his eyebrows, chuckling slightly, "is that so?" He asked, "if you want to see what I can really do perhaps you could come to tonight's show?" Anne asked timidly.

She looked down at her breakfast again, afraid a clearly important man like Phillip Carlyle would be too busy as to come watch a poor insignificant black girl like her.

She was a little surprised when he said yes, "I'll be there" he agreed, Anne looked up feeling a little shocked, "really?" She asked.

He nodded, flashing her a perfect smile, "I wouldn't miss it for the world" he promised.

Anne blushed furiously at the response, looking at her brother he seemed a little less pleased but Anne felt her heart soar.

She was a little startled by how happy Phillip Carlyle, a man she barely knew had made her whilst doing so little. She felt confused by the emotions she was experiencing.

Looking down she saw her plate was empty, a perfect reason to excuse herself. She rose to her feet, "sorry, excuse me, I think I would like to train for the show. I'll see you tonight Mr Carlyle" she said.

He felt a little disappointed at the fact she was leaving but he nodded and smiled, "I look forward to it Miss Wheeler" he returned.

She smiled one last time before she hurried from the room. She found it easiest to spend short amounts of time with Phillip, the rush of emotions and the nerves she felt when she was around him were new and confusing.

She feared if she spent too much time around him the emotions would engulf her completely, she needed time to decipher what the feelings meant.

He was like the first sun after a cold winter, if you have too much at once it'll overwhelm you, it's always more enjoyable when you ease yourself gently into it.

She found she couldn't get into practicing like she usually could, all she could think about was the show that night. How he would be watching her.

The thought filled her with excitement and anticipation, she wanted to impress him with her trapezium skills.

She would train as hard as she possibly could to prepare herself for the show that night, for the show that night might be the most important show she had ever performed in her life.


	16. Phillip Meets Charity & The Girls

After Phillip had finished eating he had found P.T again, they spent most of the day in Phillip's office.

P.T talked Phillip through the paperwork he wanted him to complete, the finances he needed to sort through and generally what Phillip's job entailed, his plans for the circuses, what he wished to achieve, things of the sort.

It wasn't too difficult as Phillip had unwillingly studied business at Harvard university, arranged by his father of course who had hoped Phillip would one day take over his business and carry on the Carlyle legacy.

Phillip usually hated business but he found working alongside P.T at the circus, filling out contracts, payslips, advertisements and such was strangely fascinating.

Whenever he and P.T would take breaks to allow their brains time to refresh and relax they would stand at Phillip's window and watch the troupes rehearsing below.

P.T smiled, a look of satisfaction on his face as they watched, "you know, I've dreamed of this since I was a child" he said.

Phillip looked at him, "really?" He asked, P.T bowed his head in confirmation, "oh yes. I was a tailor's soon, I had barely a penny to my name. But when I fell asleep I would dream of a show with spectacular people and things you wouldn't find anywhere else in the world. I would lead them all in my red ringmaster's coat, similar to the one I wear at night. I wanted the world to see people like Oliver, or Walter, or Anne were special and not freaks to be frowned at. I'm not all that different from they are, you see I am a misfit of society, shamed by the aristocrats. This has been my life long, I am grateful every day that I have the chance to live it".

Phillip exhaled, he wasn't quite sure what to say. He admired P.T more every minute they spent together, what he had accomplished was remarkable, "wow" he breathed.

P.T smirked, "thank you, might I ask what's your dream? Surely you must have had one and I can't imagine it was to be a sad lonely playwright with a taste for whiskey and flings" he asked, he was direct but not rude.

Phillip knew he was right, he laughed as he shook his head, "no, it wasn't. I did always enjoy writing, however. My dream was simply to be able to make people happy, I hated who my father was when I was a child, I was so determined to not be like him, create my own legacy in my writing. I was so critical of myself, I always strived to be better so one day I could make people happy with my plays and books, I guess in the process I just got so caught up in all the fame and fortune that I lost myself. I became just like him, the man who was exactly who I didn't want to be. I still wish to make people happy but I just don't know how, it seems everything I do makes people unhappy, including myself" he admitted.

P.T patted Phillip's shoulder, "I know you went down the wrong path son but it's never too late to turn back and right your wrongs. Your past doesn't matter, what matters is your future and what you do with it" he said.

Phillip looked at him again, "do you really think so?" He asked, P.T gave him a warm smile, "I know so" he answered.

He returned the smile, "thank you sir" he said, he felt a rush of warm emotions to his heart, he teared up slightly and faced forward again, clearing his throat.

P.T was exactly how Phillip had imagined a caring father, he had to imagine as his father was far from perfect.

He was never affectionate, he never offered Phillip fatherly advice nor did he ever believe in his son, P.T was the father Phillip had always wanted.

He had always longed for a family who would love and care about him, he always wanted his father to be a man like P.T.

P.T looked back at Phillip's desk, earlier in the day it had been piled high with paper, now there was one small stack of paperwork remained, "we've done a good day's work, what would you say to cut our work short, you're yet to meet my wife and girls. Considering you're my new business associate it would only make sense to meet them" P.T proposed.

Phillip smiled, "your girls?" He asked, P.T led Phillip out of the office and down the stairs, "I have two daughters, Helen and Caroline. They're my pride and joy, they love the circus and everyone here" he explained.

Phillip cast his eyes back to the window, out of which Anne was in the ring somewhere, rehearsing or talking to her friends, "we will be back in time for the show tonight Sir?" He asked.

P.T chuckled, "yes of course, you're eager to see what you invested in, well fair enough" he spread his hands to emphasise his point.

Phillip nodded, "uh yeah, so we'll definitely be back in time?" He asked, P.T gave Phillip an odd look but nodded, "yes, what's gotten into you?" He asked.

Phillip scoffed, "nothing" he lied, before P.T could question him any further a carriage pulled up.

The trip to P.T's was a long one as his manor lay on the other side of Manhattan, Phillip didn't mind though, he and P.T had an interesting conversation on the coach ride comparing their ideas on what to do with the circus.

Phillip had to admit he was a little impressed when the carriage stopped outside of the grand Barnum home, he hadn't expected a man like P.T to own a house like this.

He immediately scolded himself for the aristocratic thought, he was used to looking down at others, he would have to adjust to this new humble way of life.

P.T walked him up the path, obviously a little proud of Phillip's shocked expression, "we moved here not too long ago, this was the house me and my wife would run away to as kids. I promised her a good life and so I surprised her with our childhood dream home" he boasted slightly.

Phillip chuckled, "it's a fine manor Sir" he agreed, P.T's smile only grew, "well I have to say, that's quite flattering coming from a man of your fortune".

The second he and P.T stepped inside the house the sound of two footsteps came thundering along the floor from upstairs before two small girls appeared and raced down the grand staircase, "daddy!" They cried.

The girls embraced P.T enthusiastically as he bent down to return their affection, "girls, I would like to introduce you to my new friend Phillip" he said.

The brunette one turned towards him, "Hi! I'm Caroline, I'm gonna be a ballerina!" She said before twirling gracefully.

Phillip gasped playfully and bent to her level with a grin on his face, "I remember you, you performed at my charity gala!" He said poking her stomach.

She nodded, "did you like it?" She asked, Phillip narrowed his eyes and leaned closer towards the older girl, "I loved it, you were amazing!" He whispered.

The younger blonde girl bounced up and down, "I was also there but I can't be a ball-er-ina yet because daddy says I'm too young" she said pronouncing ballerina slowly as if it was a difficult word for her.

Phillip turned to her, "were you? Do you want to be a ballerina too?" He asked, she screwed up her face in thought, "I want to be a princess!" She decided happily.

Phillip chuckled, "well you certainly look like one!" He tapped her nose and winked, she blushed and hid her face in her hands as she laughed.

P.T marvelled as he watched Phillip charm the girls, they already adored him and he was great with the pair, "I didn't realise you were so good with children" he said.

Phillip looked up at P.T who was now stood again, "oh I love kids, I told you I like to make people happy and children are easy to please" he smiled at the girls.

P.T laughed, "shall we introduce Phillip to mommy?" He asked, Helen and Caroline squealed excitedly and grabbed Phillip's hands dragging him to the kitchen where Charity Barnum stood preparing dinner.

"Mommy! Look who we just met!" Helen cried as they dragged Phillip in, Charity looked up in surprise, "Phillip Carlyle" she gasped.

She wiped her hands on her apron and moved around the counter to greet him, "it's a pleasure to meet you ma'am" he offered her his hand.

She laughed, "oh there's no need for the formalities, call me Charity" she said before hugging him, "oh" he laughed as he hugged her back.

It had been a while since he'd actually been hugged, she was warm and gave good hugs.

Phillip was a little embarrassed when he pulled away, he wasn't used to this sort of affection, it was rare his mother ever hugged him and it felt like nothing like Charity Barnum's warm hugs.

P.T followed Phillip into the kitchen, "hello dear, I thought I'd introduce Phillip to you and the girls now that he's part of the theatre" he said.

Charity clasped her hands, "oh you joined the circus? That's wonderful, what do you think of it?" She asked, Phillip smiled politely, "I think it's incredible, the acts P.T has there are really quite talented".

Helen jumped up and down with her hand raised as if she was in class, "ooh! Ooh! I like Lettie!" She cried, "Lettie's an amazing singer isn't she darling?" Charity said stroking her daughter's hair.

"Anne's my favourite" Caroline said, Phillip smiled, "is she?" He asked, she nodded, "she's graceful and pretty" she said, "I agree" Phillip said, now blushing a little, "yeah she's Phillip's favourite too" P.T said with a smirk.

Phillip glared at P.T but the damage was done, Charity gasped with a delighted smile on her face, "Phillip Carlyle has feelings for a girl! Do you like Anne?" She asked excitedly, Phillip blushed darker, "thanks a lot" he murmured at P.T.

Charity held his arm, "did you meet her? What happened? Tell me everything" she gushed, Phillip laughed nervously "nothing, I just get a little flustered every time I'm around her and I spent all last night thinking about her, that doesn't mean I like her" he said defensively.

Charity's smile spread, she looked at her husband who's smirk grew more smug by the second, "Phillip has a crush!" Caroline sang, "oh this is perfect! Anne's a wonderful girl!" Charity squealed.

Phillip shoved his hands in his pocket, "okay so I may have taken a liking to her but I doubt she feels the same, and we're colleagues, it would be highly inappropriate" he argued.

P.T snorted, "she doesn't feel the same, have you seen the way she gets nervous around you?" He asked, "I suppose so, but I just assumed she was a shy girl" he replied.

P.T shrugged, "she is but I've seen Anne, she gets a different kind of nervous around you. I bet she likes you", Phillip felt over the moon at the thought, "well she did invite me to watch her at the show tonight" he admitted.

P.T gasped, "is that why you asked if we would be back in time?" He asked, Phillip looked at the floor as he nodded, the girls giggled , "Phillip and Anne are sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G" they sung.

Charity laughed as Phillip got progressively more embarrassed, he was Phillip Carlyle after all. The cool suave playwright and now he was in her home blushing over a circus girl, "well come on! Let's get you ready for the show tonight, you do want to impress her don't you?" She asked.

Phillip looked up and nodded once again, "you think she likes me?" He asked, Charity rolled her eyes, "come on girls, we need to help our new friend Phillip" she said before they took him to find some better clothes he hadn't been wearing for the past 2 days.


	17. The Broken Rose

Anne went to Lettie to help her with her wig as she always does before a show, she had put more effort into her makeup that night so she could look good for Phillip Carlyle.

Although that didn't require as much attention as she thought it did, for Anne Wheeler was naturally beautiful, she would look just as good without makeup as with.

Lettie held her tongue as she helped Anne pin her hair up, there were many things she wanted to say but she refrained, "so Phillip Carlyle is watching the show tonight" she decided.

Anne feinted surprise, "oh is he? I must've forgotten" she said casually, Lettie scoffed, "child, please. You've been absentminded all day long" she laughed.

Anne squirmed in her seat, "I have a lot on my mind" she defended, "what like Carlyle?" She asked, Anne shifted again, "no like… New tricks for trapeze, I was thinking about working in a front forward flip" Anne lied.

Lettie pressed her tongue to the inside of her cheek and nodded, not convinced, "uh huh, keep still" she said, Anne stopped shifting "sorry".

Anne watched anxiously as Lettie fixed her wig, she needed to look good, "there you go kiddo" she said, Anne touched the fake hair, "does it look okay?" She asked.

Lettie put her hand on her hip, "now since when did you care about your appearance?" she questioned.

Anne inspected her reflection, "well I'm a grown woman, why can't I care about how I look?" She asked, Lettie held up her hands, "I'm not saying you can't, I'm saying you don't, what's with the sudden interest?"

Anne stood and faced Lettie, "this is ridiculous, come on we have a show to do" she said, striding out of Lettie's room and down to the ring.

She was a ball of nerves that night as she waited for her routine with W.D, she was never nervous to perform but the idea of those piercing blue eyes on her filled her with an excited yet unsure feeling.

She peeked out at the theatre to try and find where Phillip was when she noticed he stood on the balcony, the same balcony he had been stood at when their eyes had first met.

This brought a smile to Anne's face, even from all the way down here, offstage behind the ring she could see how good he looked.

He was dressed in a formal grey suit with a matching top hat, he looked better than he had done that morning when he showed up to breakfast in the same clothes he had worn the day before.

At breakfast he looked tired and weary with dark bags under his eyes, his hair was uncombed and he still wore the suit he did the day before, now it was slightly more crumpled.

The Phillip Carlyle standing on the balcony looked dramatically better, the bags under his eyes were gone, his skin glowed a healthy white, he looked clean and well groomed. His hair had now been fixed and was slicked back off his face. The grey suit he wore was crisp and smart, all in all he looked the epitome of dapper.

Charles walked past and looked up at Anne, "what're you smiling about?" He asked, Anne dropped her smile as she looked at her short friend, "nothing, what're you so grumpy about?" She fired back.

He laughed, "touché, but for your information, this is just my face" he joked, she laughed, "you never fail to crack me Charles" she sighed.

He bowed, "and that is what I'm here for toots" he said before he walked onto the ring for his routine which meant it was time for Anne to get ready to perform.

She raced to the ladder leading up to her starting platform, from here she could see the entire theatre. She could see all the crowds, all the cast below and Phillip.

She locked eyes with her brother from across the theatre, "focus" he mouthed to her.

Anne shook her head, he was right, she needed to focus on thee very dangerous task ahead of her of performing 40 feet high without anything to catch her if she messed up.

She ran and leapt off the platform, a smile on her face as the wind whipped around her, lashing at her hair and clothes. She saw the ground speeding towards her and caught the rope at the last second.

Her feet skimmed the ground before she was launched upwards, she arched gracefully over her brother's head and caught the ring with her foot.

She spun mid-air barely dangling from the metal ring, her body contorted into a seemingly impossible shape.

She looked at Phillip to catch the look on his face, he watched with a mixture of fear, shock and amazement. She smirked, feeling empowered.

She was scared and afraid on the floor but in the air she had all the control, she was able to make people fear for her life whilst she barely batted an eyelid. She felt free like a bird that had been released from its cage and she loved every second of it.

She grinned as she jumped from rope to rope, swung around the theatre or jumped to her brother's arms, she caught him and dropped him, she flew and fell.

She was filled with confidence once again as she flew upside down on her trapeze towards Phillip again.

He smiled to her, a smile filled with awe, he was clearly impressed by her skills.

Anne was a little shamed to admit in that moment she felt nothing but smug, she didn't think a lot of herself but she knew she was good at what she did.

She sent Phillip a confident wink before she swung back to her brother, this time she did jump when she was supposed to, finishing her act with a flourish.

Phillip watched the show feeling blown away by all the spectacular people, there was a man strong enough to lift Frederic the 750-pound man.

It was all so incredible but Phillip knew which act he really wanted to see, the beautiful trapeze artists who claimed she would show him what she could really do.

He was a little frustrated at how slowly time was ticking by, he was ready tonight. At the Barnum's P.T had given Phillip one of his finest suits to wear, he had instructed Phillip to bathe and clean himself up so he could look good for Anne.

He had given Phillip expensive cologne that smelt far better than anything Phillip had owned previously, even when he lived that rich upper-class lifestyle.

Phillip had a single red rose he would give to Anne when the show was over, now all he could do was wait.

Then it all happened so fast Phillip almost missed her, she appeared on a small platform then suddenly she ran and leapt into the air.

Phillip felt the breath leave his body, she began to plummet towards the floor but she didn't seem worried at all.

In fact she wore an ecstatic smile on her face, Phillip wondered if she was crazy but then she grabbed a rope vaulting herself back up through the air.

Phillip was captivated by the way she fearlessly moved through the air, it was breath-taking. He had never known anyone as brave as Anne appeared to be, even looking over the balcony made Phillip a little nervous but she flew through the air without any aid and seemed not only confident and unafraid but overjoyed to be doing so.

Phillip was sure she was crazy but for some reason that just made him want her more.

His heart was in his throat as she fell, always catching herself but making Phillip sweat in the process. He feared for her safety every time she pulled a risqué stunt which happened to be every single move in her routine.

Then Phillip's nerves were both calmed and heightened simultaneously, his eyes widening as she moved to a satin rope.

She gripped the rope tightly in her hand as she hung freely, she then began to wind the material around her body.

His throat tightened as she moved her hips, she thrusted forward and swivelled her hips as she wrapped the satin rope around her delicate waist.

Phillip cleared his throat and attempted to look away, he wasn't like the old him, he would be nothing but a gentleman towards Anne but the sight was erotic and slowly drove him crazy.

He shook his head and turned his focus to her brother instead, his arms shook as he held his body away from the rope, his hands supporting his entire body weight.

Phillip had to admit he had been beyond impressed by the two, Anne had more than proceeded his expectations, she was the most talented person he had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

She swung towards him again as she had done the night before, he couldn't help but to grin when she sent him a cheeky wink.

Phillip had noticed she was always confident when she was in the air which would explain her boldness last night but her shyness this morning.

He turned and walked down the stairs when she disappeared from the ring completely, her act now over.

He found her behind the stage where she had been last night, he walked towards her a smile on his face. He removed his hat politely once he reached her.

She undid her wig and returned his smile, "so what did you think?" She asked breathlessly.

Phillip exhaled as he searched for words, "wow… That was… Wow" he stammered, Anne gave him the same sly smirk she had given him the night before, "well I'm glad you enjoyed it Mr Carlyle".

He pulled the rose from behind his back, "for you" he said offering it to her, she looked down at the rose and frowned slightly before she looked back up to him, confusion etched in her face, "really?" She asked.

He laughed nervously, "unless you don't like it and then-" he began she shook her head, "no. Thank you sir, it's just- I've never been given flowers before" she accepted the flower.

Her fingers grazed his as she took the rose from him, his skin tingled at her touch, she looked down at their hands and blushed coyly, pulling her hand quickly back.

Phillip turned a little pink himself, he laughed nervously again, he opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it again when W.D appeared by Anne's side.

He looked at the two of them, scowling at the fact they were both blushing, "Mr Carlyle gave me a rose, isn't that sweet?" Anne asked prompting him slightly.

W.D looked at the red flower in his little sister's hand and then up at Phillip, he nodded slowly, "yes, thank you Sir" he replied gruffly.

Phillip straightened up and nodded, he placed his hat back on his head, "well I should be going, things to do, contracts to sign" he said.

Anne nodded, "thank you for tonight Mr Carlyle" she said politely, he bowed his head to her, "goodnight Miss Wheeler" he said.

He looked at W.D's stoic face, "Mr Wheeler" he said before he turned and left.

Anne smiled down at the rose as she watched him walk away, "what the hell are you doing?" W.D snapped.

Anne rolled her eyes, "what?" She asked, he gestured down at the rose in her hands, "he's white Anne, you can't do this, not with him" he said bluntly.

She sighed, "do what?" She asked, he snatched the rose from her hands "don't play stupid with me Annabelle. I see that look in your eyes, this ends here. It can't be, we're black, he'll only go and hurt you. Do you think that man cares about you? All he's interested in is sex, he'll play with you, use you and then throw you away like cold liver. I'm ending this now, before you get your heart broken" he said.

She gasped as he threw the rose to the floor and stamped on it, "it's for the best" he said before leaving her alone with the crumpled flower.

She bent and picked it up, cradling the broken petals in her hands. She refused to believe what he said to be true, why would he go to the effort if all he wanted from her was her body or to have sex with her.


	18. The Invitation

"The shame of the city. The protests cement Mr Barnum's reputation as a purveyor of the offensive and indecent" P.T read aloud from The New York Times.

James Gordon Bennett had published yet another distasteful review after the protests the night before last.

"Offensive and indecent, Mr Bennett, I am blushing" Lettie replied as she held a handheld mirror. She stood brushing her beard on the seesaw Anne and W.D used to launch Anne in the opening act of the show.

Next to her W.D sat in the middle of the seesaw tipping it from side to side for the Barnum girls who played happily, "no I'm blushing!" Caroline, who fashioned one or their most popular pieces of merchandise; a Lettie Lutz fake beard, exclaimed causing everyone to laugh around her.

Charity took P.T's hand, "what do you care what Bennett thinks?" She asked, "he's a prig" Lettie laughed, "and a snob" Charles added.

P.T looked down at Charles with a sigh, "yes and all the snobs in New York read him, he does their thinking for them" he said.

Anne looked at her friends, the realisation setting upon all of them, this would be bad for the circus, real bad. Anne had quickly learnt how important word of mouth could be, if it started to spread that the circus was filled with not only freaks but violent ones too…

"Whatever happened to thriving off controversy?" Anne said trying to lift the spirits of the troupe, "yeah, well…" he began but fell short when Phillip walked in.

Anne turned her head to look at him, as casually as she could but her heart raced as he walked past her, something that seemed to happen whenever she was around him.

The Barnum girls jumped off the seesaw and ran towards him, "Phillip!" They cried excitedly, they launched themselves at his legs.

He smiled kindly down at the two, he stroked Helen's hair earning a delighted giggle from the girls.

Anne's heart ached in her chest, the sight was so pure, Phillip handling the Barnum daughters so well she couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face.

He stood and extended the paper to Phillip, "do you have any thoughts on this?" He asked.

Phillip smirked, "as a matter of fact, I do" he said brandishing a letter from his pocket and passing it to P.T, "Helen, c'mon" P.T said as he accepted the letter.

He frowned as he unfolded the letter, everyone leaned forward a little in anticipation, "The Master of the Household has it in command of the Queen- to invite Mr Phineas T Barnum and his theatrical troupe to a reception at Buckingham Palace".

Everyone clambered quickly to their feet, Anne stayed seated, the smile instantly melted off her face.

"The Queen Victoria? Is this real?" Charity asked, laughing at the surrealness of it all.

"I had to pull a few strings" he said humbly, now stroking Caroline's hair as she clung to him, the girls giggling at his feet.

Anne looked at W.D, a feeling of dread washing over her, he pursed his lips and shook his head slightly. She knew she should feel excited but the situation arose many problems for her.

She was reminded of how powerful Phillip was whereas she was a nothing who had nothing.

Was he really so high up that he had connections to the queen of England? How else could he have managed to get them all an invitation to a palace to perform for the queen.

He was right at the top of the social chain whereas she and her brother were at the very bottom, would they even be allowed to go? She doubted royalty would take very kindly to black folk in her palace.

Phillip picked up Helen as he spoke, lifting her onto the chair in front of him. Anne should've found the sight cute and endearing but now her head had been filled with troubles.

"If you want society to accept you you may as well start at the very, very top" he said placing his top hat on Helen's head causing her to burst into another fit of giggles.

Anne finally rose to her feet unable to conceal her worries anymore, "are we all invited?" She asked in a confident voice despite her inner turmoil.

Phillip snapped his head around to look at her, the rest of the troupe stopped smiling at Anne's comment.

They had been so caught up in the excitement they had forgotten they were freaks, whether due to their race or size or appearance.

Lettie looked at Anne then P.T, waiting for encouragement or reassurance but he didn't know what to say either. He shut his mouth, his face falling sullen and grey.

Anne locked eyes with Phillip as she awaited her answer, his smile faltered confirming her doubts, her face already steely, before she had even asked she already knew the answer.

He turned his head back to look at the troupe, "I guess I'll just have to tell the Queen that either all of us go" he said loudly.

He turned to look at Anne again, a determined look in his eyes, "or none of us will" he nodded as he finished his sentence to confirm his promise.

Anne felt a warmth glow spread to her heart, butterflies beating in her stomach she smiled slowly.

Phillip was obviously an important man yet here he was defending Anne with a promise that could cost him dearly.

She hadn't yet catered to the idea she had feelings for Phillip Carlyle as she was afraid of what it would mean for her. She knew deep inside she harboured strong feelings for him, feelings that exceeded any friendship or platonicity but up until this moment she repressed the thought, she'd shoved it far to the back of her mind.

But in this moment Anne knew she could no longer deny her feelings for in this moment Anne knew Phillip Carlyle had her heart.

Anne laughed with joy, looking to her brother as the troupe began cheering all around her.

Even Charles was smiling, "the Queen of England! Can't get much better than that" he shook his head, a grin on his face.

Anne watched as Phillip picked up Helen on his back. He spun her around until his hat fell off of her head.

Anne laughed at the sight, her heart beating quicker than ever, she felt happier then than she could remember feeling in a long time and there was nothing more attractive than a man who was good with kids.

When Caroline complained from lack of attention Phillip swooped down and picked her up in his arms spinning both of the girls, their laughter filled the air.

The corner of W.D's lips twitched as he battled the smile threatening to creep onto his face, he wanted to resent Carlyle but it was difficult when he had agreed to take all of them to meet the queen, including him and his sister.

Perhaps he had been wrong about the morality of Phillip Carlyle, perhaps he was a good man, that's not to say he trusted him at all.

He still had a poor reputation with woman and an obvious interest in his naïve innocent little sister.

Despite this W.D decided he would still celebrate with everyone else, interested in Anne or not he had just promised them a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Phillip put the girls down and strode over to Anne, "thank you Mr Carlyle" Anne said at once.

Phillip smiled and looked down, "of course, you deserve the same opportunities as anyone else" he said.

Anne smiled sadly, "if only that were true, but thank you nonetheless, you've done a real nice thing Sir" she said.

Phillip frowned as he looked up at Anne, "it is true, the fact that you have darker skin than me doesn't mean you matter any less than I do, never let anyone tell otherwise Miss Wheeler" he said.

His eyes were so fierce and passionate, Anne almost found herself believing him.


	19. A Small Favour

Phillip had been so busy he hadn't had a chance to go to the bank to withdraw his money, if he had any left, so he could buy an apartment. He was getting increasingly more stressed about the fact if he didn't do it soon he may be homeless, well obviously not completely, P.T promised he'd always have a room at the theatre but Phillip didn't want any charity.

He had finally found the time to go to the bank a few days after they had received the invitation to Buckingham Palace, much to Phillip's surprise when he went to the bank his account had not yet been frozen or emptied.

He withdrew all the money he had, the figure was in the high hundred thousands, more than enough to find him a suitable apartment and to live comfortably off of.

He began searching for an apartment near the circus, being careful to avoid estate agents he knew had connections to his father or were fairly high on the social ladder. An estate agent was a well respected job and so finding apartments that wouldn't alert Phillip's father of his whereabouts or what he was doing proved to be more difficult than Phillip thought.

The fact that Phillip's money hadn't been touched yet meant his father hadn't noticed his absence or had just assumed he had gone out on a week long drinking bender and hadn't returned home yet. It wasn't unheard of for Phillip.

It took a few days but eventually Phillip was able to find the perfect apartment, it was on the same street as the theatre, it was humble but ideally suitable for Phillip's taste, the landlord didn't have any connections to his father and so Phillip could stay hidden under the radar for as long as possible.

It hadn't been lived in for a while and so would take some work but Phillip didn't mind the challenge, it would keep his mind off his troubles and give him something to do, perhaps he could ask a few of the stronger men at the circus to help him out.

He sat in his office with P.T, they counted Phillip's money and P.T helped him work out the financial side of the apartment. How much it would cost for rent, utilities, how much he would need for food and new clothes, Phillip had no clothes and had so far borrowed from the theatre's costumes. Phillip would also need to refurbish the apartment and buy all new furniture.

P.T laughed as they finished counting Phillip's money, "my god, you have thousands" he marvelled.

The old Phillip would've swelled at the statement and felt the urge to brag or boast about his fortune but since Phillip had joined the circus he had been trying to better himself and become a changed man for the better.

Phillip felt a little embarrassed as he looked at the green stacks of money piling high on his desk, "it's not mine, not really it's my fathers but now I need make the most of it, I won't get any more from him. Well that's fine by me" he said modestly.

P.T picked up a bundle of money flicking through it, he whistled in appreciation, "even so this is a lot of money, what will you do with the rest of it?" He asked, Phillip shrugged, "I'll invest a lot of it in the circus, I'll save the rest, I wouldn't dare put it in a bank now; I'll have to stash it somewhere".

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at Phillip's open, office door. Phillip looked up to see Anne stood in his doorway a shocked expression on her face as she gaped at all of his money. He had walked into her the night before and asked her to come talk to him today, he had a favour to ask her.

Anne had been on her way to bed after the show, she felt exhausted and had already began to pull off her pink wig, sending her wild brunette curls cascading down her shoulders, when she walked past Phillip's office.

The door was ajar as it usually was, Phillip sat behind his desk inside, he was hunched over a stack of paperwork seemingly lost in the task but when he heard Anne's footsteps his head snapped up to look at her, "Miss Wheeler might I speak to you for a moment" he called.

Anne stopped outside of his door and nodded, "of course Sir, may I come in?" She asked, he put down his pen and gestured for her to enter so she did.

She stepped inside the office, she had never been in this room before it was larger than the bedrooms and sparsely decorated.

It had an oak desk in front of a window that overlooked the ring, on one side of the room was a large bookcase, although the shelves held very little only occupied by a few books. On the other side of the room was a liquor cabinet, Anne was surprised to see how well stocked it was, contrasting with the emptiness of the room each shelf held full expensive looking bottles of whiskey.

Phillip sat behind his desk, he smiled at her as she entered the room, "what can I do for you Mr Carlyle?" Anne asked politely, "you were brilliant in the show tonight, I watched from time to time when I needed to take a break from the dreariness of the paperwork, that isn't why I called you in here but I believe praises should be issued when due".

Anne blushed and looked at her feet, "thank you Sir" she said shyly, Phillip was about to say something else when a yawn escaped from Anne's lips.

Anne's felt horrified as she clamped her hand to her mouth, she felt immediately embarrassed having yawned in Phillip's presence, "I'm so sorry Sir, I didn't mean for that to happen, I'm just tired from the show" she apologised hurriedly.

Phillip began to laugh, not in a cruel poking fun at her sort of way, but a light friendly laugh of amusement clearly having been caught off guard, Anne looked up slowly and began to laugh too.

It had been the first time she had heard his real laugh, it was so relaxed and carefree she couldn't help but to laugh too. She had noticed how tense he always seemed to be when he thought nobody would notice, Anne was great at picking up on people's emotions.

Despite the way he had looked at her on the night they had met and a few occasions since his eyes mostly appeared void of emotion and dead, it was clear he was dealing with something difficult that made him shut his feelings out. His shoulders contained so much stress, his hands were rarely still, his face was tired. Anne wondered what troubled him, she found herself wishing she could help only to remind herself of her place.

But when he laughed it filled her with happiness, it was a pleasant sound and there was a spark ignited in his eyes if only for a second. She had expected him to be irritated by her rudeness but he didn't seem to mind at all, "you must be tired".

Anne tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked back at the floor, "I am Sir" she admitted, she remembered he had called her in for a reason, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your thought, what was it you wanted from me?" She asked.

He studied her face, his eyes were always so intense, she never minded though, he shook his head, "it can wait until morning, you must be exhausted and I wouldn't like to keep you up, could you come see me tomorrow morning when you're free? I'd like to ask a favour of you".

Anne frowned, "are you sure Sir? Really it's no- trouble" she said, her sentence was broken by yet another yawn. Phillip just smirked knowing he was right, "goodnight Miss Wheeler, I assume I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked.

Anne nodded, "goodnight Mr Carlyle".

Anne had wondered all night what he wanted to ask of her, the idea filled her with an excited anticipation. She devised scenario after scenario in her head each one varying wildly from the other but walking to the office she couldn't decide which one she thought it may be.

She felt a little excited and very nervous as she walked down the hallway, her mind raced with the possibilities.

When she reached his open office door she knocked on the doorframe, she looked up and what she saw made her jaw drop.

Phillip sat behind his desk which was completely covered in hundreds and thousand pound notes piling high, it was more money than she had ever seen in her life.

The sight reminded her that Phillip was rich and important and she was poor and insignificant, adding to the conflict she felt in her heart when she was around Phillip.

Phillip who was sat next to P.T behind his desk looked up when she knocked, he greeted her with a kind smile "Miss Wheeler, do come in".

P.T stood, "well, I have other matters to attend, I will be back later to offer any guidance I can with your situation Phillip" he said laying his hand on his shoulder, "thank you Sir" Phillip said.

P.T passed Anne on his way out, she took a few dazed steps into Phillip's office as she stared at the money in disbelief.

Phillip stood and rounded his desk so he stood in front of her, "I apologise, please ignore the money. I had to withdraw all of my money from my account before my father took it all from me, I've been looking for a place to live and without my father's money I have nothing" he said modestly.

Anne brought her attention back to Phillip, "what do you mean before he took it all from you? Why would he take your money?" She asked, Phillip hung his head in shame, "let's just say I don't think my father would approve of the choices I've made. He's a cruel arrogant man" he said.

Anne had so many questions she wished to ask him but bit her tongue, "I'm sorry to hear that Sir" she said sincerely.

He smiled and shook his head, "it's okay, truth is I'd love to get away from all the money, that's why I want to invest in the circus. Get away from that life, I want to become a changed man" he said.

Anne was a little surprised that he was opening up to her but she stood and listened patiently, "if I may ask... Who are you Sir?" Anne asked.

As soon as the words escaped her mouth she regretted it, he must think she was rude now. He would send her away in anger or get P.T to fire her and W.D.

But he didn't, he laughed again. He felt taken aback by her direct question but he wasn't angry, "you don't know who I am?" He asked.

Anne shook her head cautiously, "how refreshing" he mused, he leaned on his desk half sitting as he laughed again, "I'm a playwright although my father wanted me to take over the Carlyle family businesses. He and many Carlyles before him built a legacy, making the Carlyle filthy rich. All he cares about is money, status and power. I didn't want any part of that life so I tried to rebel as much as I could but he controlled me in any way he could. I may not have been part of the circus long but being here is freeing beyond my wildest dreams, here I have the room to grow and change, Mr Barnum has saved me from a life of upper-class hell" he answered.

Anne was filled with more questions as her mind worked a million miles an hour, he had revealed so little but even with what he had told her she could begin to build a rough idea of the man Phillip Carlyle was.

She smiled, "I feel the same, about feeling free at the circus, it's remarkable here isn't it?" She said, he nodded, "it is indeed, it's got so many incredible talents, like yourself" he flirted casually.

Anne blushed once more, she wondered if she could get through a singular encounter with Phillip Carlyle without turning red like a tomato. She brushed her fingers through her hair, "thank you Mr Carlyle".

He pushed himself to his feet, "which brings me to my favour I would like to ask of you, I have found an apartment near here, it'll be mine this afternoon and I could use some help with everything, I was wondering if you could ask W.D and Constantine if they would help me out. I'll pay them of course" he said.

Anne didn't know why she felt disappointed, was that all he wanted to ask her? It was certainly less riveting than the scenarios Anne had created in her head. "Oh right... Yes, I'll ask them" she said, hiding her disappointment with a smile.

Phillip grinned, "excellent, thank you" he said, Anne nodded "is that all Sir?" She asked politely, he glanced at his money, "yes, thank you Miss Wheeler, you may go" he said until he noticed the look on Anne's face, she hadn't realised that her smile had faltered.

She'd allowed a fraction of disappointment to appear upon her face, "unless there's something I can do for you, I mean you're welcome to stay if you wish to" he said hastily. Anne smiled again feeling embarrassed, "no, that's alright Sir, I have things to do" she trailed off as they looked into each other's eyes.

He leaned his head forward as he listened intently, "yes! things to do, thank you Sir. I will ask W.D" she said shaking her head, he cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his pockets, "yes, uh thank you Miss Wheeler" he said.

She looked at him one more time before she turned and left, once she was out the door and out of sight she collapsed against the wall, her heart pounded out of her chest.

She pressed her hand to her beating heart and exhaled, she couldn't explain what she felt when she and Phillip Carlyle locked eyes but it left her breathless and wanting more. She conjured a plan to convince W.D and Constantine to help Phillip move into his new apartment, that way she could spend more time around him.


	20. Newspapers

Anne found W.D hanging out in the ring with the rest of their friends, he and Constantine seemed to be laughing at something Lettie said, her hands outstretched as she laughed with them, "I'm just saying" she exclaimed.

Anne walked up to them all, "hey guys, what're you laughing about?" She asked, "oh well we were just talking about-" Charles began with a smirk, "No! I don't think this conversation is appropriate for Anne's ears" Constantine surged forward covering Charles' mouth.

The group howled with laughter at Anne's innocent expression, "well what is it?" She demanded, Lettie laughed, "no no no, Anne we love you but there are just somethings not fit to be talked about by a lady" she said kindly.

Anne put her hand on her hip, "well you're a lady" she argued, Charles snorted, "barely" he joked resulting in a playful smack on the head from Lettie.

Anne looked to W.D, "what were you talking about?" She demanded, he shook his head "I'll tell you when you're older Annie" he laughed patting her head, "I am not a child! I am 21 years old, I am a woman!" She insisted.

Constantine sighed and slapped his knees, "okay" he said and stood up, he made his way over to Anne and whispered something in her ear.

Anne's eyes widened and she went bright red, "oh my god! You guys are disgusting!" She gasped, resulting in everyone howling with anger once more, "hey we warned you" Charles said.

Anne shook her head, "ugh whatever, W.D can I talk to you?" She asked, he nodded, "yeah, what's up?" He asked.

Anne wrung her hands nervously, "I need a favour" she said slowly, he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, "what is it?" He asked.

Anne glanced at Constantine, the others were pretending to talk but Anne knew they were secretly listening in on their conversation, "so I was talking to Phillip Carlyle and he mentioned he's bought a new apartment near here and he said it would be really great if you and Constantine could possibly-" she started.

"No. Absolutely not" W.D cut in, shaking his head. Anne sighed and threw up her arms, "what? Why not?" She asked.

He scoffed, "I don't like the man" he stated, Anne frowned, "oh come on, what's wrong with Phillip?" She asked.

He laughed bitterly, "let's see… He's rich, he's snobby and I don't like the way he looks at you" he said counting off on his fingers, "P.T's rich" Anne pointed out.

W.D shook his head, "no, not like Carlyle he isn't. Nobody's rich like Carlyle". Anne remembered the piles of money he had stacked on his desk… "So? He has a little more money than the rest of us, why should that matter?" She argued defensively.

W.D sighed and rested his hand on Anne's shoulder, "look sis, I get it, he's attractive and new and exciting but he's not who you think he is" he said gently.

Anne pulled her shoulder away, "everyone keeps saying that but what does that mean?" She asked.

W.D turned to the others for support, "Anne we've found a couple newspaper articles we think you might like to take a look at" Lettie said.

Anne frowned, "okay…" She said slowly, "Charles, go get the newspapers" she said. Charles stood and raced away to retrieve the aforementioned newspapers.

Lettie also stood and made her way over to Anne, she took her hands gently, "I know you like Mr Carlyle, and it's great that you've began to explore your options, courting is a very important part of any young woman's life but Phillip Carlyle is a…" she searched for the words, "dissolute man" she decided.

Anne frowned, "what're you implying?" She asked, Lettie sighed, "you're a nice girl Anne, you deserve a man as sweet and caring as you" she said.

Charles returned with a small bundle of newspapers, "here" he said, handing them to Lettie. Lettie took the pile and began to read the headlines aloud, "Phillip Carlyle spotted drunk and disorderly on Broadway after failing to show up at own premiere" she read.

"Okay so he was seen drunk once" Anne defended, Constantine took a newspaper, "Phillip Carlyle found drunk in gutters outside Manhattan bar" he read.

Anne threw her hands up, "maybe the man likes to drink but what's the problem with that?" She cried.

Charles took another newspaper, "Phillip Carlyle rumoured to have spent the night with famous actress Adah Isaacs Menken" he read pointedly.

Anne opened and closed her mouth, "okay but-" she started, W.D cut her off reading aloud another, "Phillip Carlyle seen leaving actress Emma Abbott's home" he read.

Anne tried to talk again but was interrupted by Lettie, "Phillip Carlyle has affair with lead actress in newest play" she read, "Phillip Carlyle reported to have spent night with prostitute from the Collect" Constantine read.

Anne sighed, "fine! I see the point you're making but Mr Carlyle's not like that" she said in exasperation, "this barely scratches the surface" Charles said, holding up the newspaper.

Anne shook her head, "I don't care, I see something in him, deep down I know he's a good, gentle man. Just because none of you can see it doesn't mean that I can't, have none of you seen how his eyes change when he looks at me?" She asked.

W.D picked up another newspaper, "do you mean when he looks at you like this?" He asked, he showed her a picture taken of Phillip walking down the street a girl in one arm a bottle of whiskey in the other. He looked at her with lust and hunger, it was clear what they were on their way to do.

Anne took a step back and shook her head, "no! Not like that, he isn't like that. When he looks at me I see emotion in his eyes, his eyes that seem to never hold anything in them at any other time, do you not see it?" She asked.

Lettie took Anne's hands, "oh honey. Men are pigs, he's only letting you believe what he wants you to believe. He isn't like us, he's just looking for some temporary fun, he'll have his way with you and toss you aside like all the other girls he's ever been involved with. There's a reason he's a bachelor, Phillip Carlyle doesn't do relationships" she said delicately.

Anne felt irritated at her friends, she knew they were trying to help her but they wouldn't listen. They didn't see the same Phillip Carlyle she did, the Phillip Carlyle she knew he was inside.

"I'm telling you, it isn't like that and besides all I'm asking for is you all to help him move out of the theatre. Where's the harm in that? He just needs some strong hands to help him move furniture and the sorts I can imagine, he says he'll pay" she retorted.

W.D scoffed, "so what? He thinks he can just get us to do his dirty work for him? Throw some filthy money at us and make us dance like puppets?" He asked angrily.

"The money could really help us D, why are you so determined to make Phillip Carlyle the bad guy? All he's done is ask for your help" Anne yelled, their friends watched them silently, the situation was tense. It felt like if they uttered one word one of them was bound to blow up.

W.D and Anne stared intensely at each other, W.D may be Anne's older brother but when Anne wanted something she got it, with her fiery spirit W.D had a difficult time fighting with his sister.

Anne's stare was hard and hot, W.D could see the fire in her eyes, he sighed "fine I'll help him but I won't take his money and as for Phillip Carlyle himself. We've all warned you Anne, don't be surprised when he hurts you like we know he will" he said roughly.


	21. A Challenge In The Bedroom

Anne stepped inside Phillip Carlyle's apartment, she had gone to get food for the men at work, "D?" She called, "in here" she heard his voice call from Phillip's kitchen.

The apartment was nearly done, the men had worked from the early hours until then when it was past noon.

Anne walked into the kitchen thinking they would be in there but the room was empty of people so she dropped the food on the kitchen island and continued to walk through the apartment.

They weren't in the joint living room/ dining room nor the office, finally Anne heard a grunt from Phillip's bedroom.

Anne walked into the hallway and stood in the bedroom's doorway, inside W.D, Phillip and Constantine worked together to move a heavy wooden wardrobe.

The men strained with efforts, their faces red and dripping with sweat. They each wore casual slacks and button up white shirts, although their clothes stuck to them from hours of heavy work.

Anne tried not to notice how Phillip's strong arms flexed through the tight fighting shirt, or how his jaw clenched and unclenched as he moved. The sight made her feel almost as hot and flustered as the men before her were.

She cleared her throat, "are you sure you wouldn't like my help?" She asked, mostly to distract herself from her own thoughts.

Phillip puffed as they all lowered the wardrobe, "I couldn't possibly ask a girl to help with lifting something as heavy as this" he panted. He obviously meant well but W.D and Constantine exchanged a cautious look.

Anne scoffed and leant against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest, she felt herself being filled with confidence "you wouldn't, would you?" She asked.

Anne may be shy but when physically challenged she becomes a different person. The urge to prove herself overwhelming her urge to shy away.

Phillip laughed nervously, "no, that's not what I meant, it's just that girls are weak" he tried to fix himself, Anne raised her brow at his statement, "not weak, uh weaker! I meant weaker" he corrected hastily.

W.D hissed at Phillip's mistake, "oh man, Carlyle. Poor choice" Constantine laughed.

Phillip glanced nervously at the two of them, Anne pushed herself off the doorframe and began walking towards him, "so, you think I'm weak?" She asked confidently.

Phillip backed up slightly as she advanced on him, "no, of course not. All I meant is this wardrobe is extremely heavy and-", Anne smirked "and you don't think I'm strong enough" Anne finished.

Phillip rubbed his neck, "well uh- guys?" He said looking to Constantine for help, W.D laughed and leant against the wardrobe, "no way. You learn the hard way not to challenge Anne".

Anne took another step forward, "I will have you know Mr Carlyle, I am plenty strong, perhaps even stronger than you" she teased, poking his chest lightly on the word you.

He wasn't sure whether to laugh or nod so he did both, "you think you're stronger than me?" He asked, she shrugged, "I am perfectly happy to prove it to you right here, right now. Unless of course, you'd rather protect your big maly ego" she said with a wink.

Phillip felt a little surprised but there was something about her confidence that amused him. Normally he would've been taken aback and put off by a girl acting the way Anne did but for some reason he didn't quite know it captivated him instead of pushing him away. He wanted more.

He laughed, "oh really?" He asked wiping his brow, "really" Anne whispered, "name your challenge" Phillip grinned, wiping his hands on his slacks.

Constantine winced, "good luck Carlyle, have you seen Anne here training? That shit is intense" he warned.

Anne smirked, "first one to complete 50 push-ups" she said, Phillip raised his eyebrows, "50?" He asked.

She rolled her shoulders as she continued to smirk at him, "I'm sorry white boy, too hard?" She teased, he laughed and held his hands up, "pft okay, just don't expect me to go easy on you" he said.

Anne smiled sweetly, "oh, I wouldn't dream of it". Without any other warning she dropped to her hands and began effortlessly pushing up and down.

"What? That's just cheating" he protested and dropped to the floor next to her, he was behind but not by much.

Anne laughed, "oh sorry, did you expect me to go easy on you?" She asked, Phillip just laughed and puffed as he tried to catch up.

W.D grinned, "go Anne, don't let whitey beat you" he cheered, "hey I am white" Constantine defended, "although I agree, whoop his ass Wheeler" he added with a smile.

Anne grinned, she watched Phillip as he began to lose momentum, but for her she had barely broken a sweat, "you doing alright there boss?" She asked cockily.

He puffed as his arms began to shake, "in my defence- I've been lifting for hours. I'm already tired" he panted, she rolled her eyes, "okay, so let me make this fair for you" she said and put one hand behind her back.

She couldn't help but to laugh at the awed expression on his face, he looked so impressed it made her confidence swell. She wasn't having any man tell her she was weak because she was a girl, even if that man happened to be an extremely attractive one she may or may not harbour some emotional feelings for.

W.D dropped to Anne's side as he coached her through the push-ups as he did whenever they trained together, "come on Anne 15 more to go, you've got this sis" he said encouragingly.

She snorted, "oh I know" she joked. She watched Phillip as she counted down from 10 with one hand behind her back, he strained as he tried to push himself harder he was only on 42 when Anne finished.

"I do believe I win, Mr Carlyle" Anne said happily, he collapsed to the floor gasping for breath, "that was- impressive. I'll hand it- to you" he said between gulps of air.

Anne stood and grinned, "still think I'm weak?" She asked, he rolled onto his back and wiped at his forehead, "okay okay, point proven. I will never doubt you again Miss Wheeler" he laughed.

She hummed in response, "I should hope not Sir" she teased, she offered her hand to help him up which he accepted.

He was lighter than she'd expected him to be and his hands were softer too. Although most hands were softer in comparison to her rough calloused ones, hardened from years of trapeze.

Her confidence melted away when their hands touched, she felt shy and giddy again because from the second they touched she felt a warm tingle in her hand. It was as if he had sent an electric shock through her fingertips and up her arm.

He pulled an expensive looking silk handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed his sweaty forehead with it, "well, since you are clearly more than capable I would love your help with the wardrobe" he said.

He smiled fondly at her, his eyes locked with hers, she felt another tingle shoot down her spine and she returned to her usual bundle of nerves she felt when Phillip Carlyle looked at her.

The moment was broken however when W.D clapped Anne on the back, "alright Anne! That's my little sister!" He said proudly.

Anne looked away from Phillip and smiled at W.D, "thanks for the support bro" she laughed.

For the rest of the day until they finished Anne helped the boys with moving the furniture around, heavy or not. But Anne couldn't help but to sneak quick glances at Phillip.

His touch was electric and his gaze was fire. There was something about Phillip that definitely excited her, and she knew for definite she wanted more of whatever it was.


	22. The Ship

The morning they would leave for London had finally arrived, P.T had Phillip running ragged doing small odd miscellaneous jobs but it felt like every time he complete one another would pop up.

P.T was far too excited to be of help either, he just went about checking that everything was going to plan, he didn't want anything to go wrong.

Phillip didn't mind him being useless however, the look on P.T's face that morning made it all worth it. The man ran around with a wild grin constantly plastered upon his face.

Phillip's main job was to take care of Helen and Caroline whilst the troupe boarded, they wanted to say goodbye to P.T and Phillip but were disappointed they couldn't go with them.

They had to go to school instead and as you can imagine, they weren't too pleased about the arrangement and so it was down to Phillip to distract them.

They sat on the bollards on the docks as they watched everyone walking up the gangplank, onto the mighty ship. Phillip didn't travel by sea very often so even he found the great ship impressive.

"I want to go to England" Helen whined, Phillip picked her up and pulled her onto his lap, "I know you do princess but somebody's got to take care of your mom, huh?" He said.

She sighed and nodded solemnly, "I guess" she said dejectedly, "I mean the truth is I'm jealous of you, I heard the Queen's really boring" he whispered.

Helen turned to him, "really?" She asked, Phillip frowned and nodded, "oh yeah, it's going to be really boring, all we're going to do is talk about boring old adult stuff" he said, groaning for emphasis.

"Is Anne going to be there?" Caroline asked, Phillip laughed and shoved his hands in his pockets, "yes, Miss Wheeler will be there" he said.

Helen frowned, "who's Miss Wheeler?" She asked, Caroline lightly hit her sisters arm, "that's Anne's last name. Her full name's Anne Wheeler, right Phillip?" She asked.

Phillip nodded, smiling slightly at the mention "right, Anne Wheeler" he confirmed. Helen bounced up and down in his lap, "are you going to kiss Anne?" She asked.

Phillip's ears turned pink at the thought, "well I-" he stammered, "of course he is, Phillip looooves her" Caroline giggled.

Phillip laughed again, this time more forced, "well I'm not sure about love" he said, "but are you going to kiss her?" Helen asked.

Phillip rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I'm not sure if-" he started, "do you want to?" Caroline asked.

Phillip turned more pink by the second, "I wouldn't be opposed to it, no" he admitted, "so why don't you kiss her on this trip?" Helen asked.

Phillip pulled his hands out of his pocket and held them up in defence, "just because I like Miss Wheeler doesn't mean I'm going to kiss her".

Caroline smirked, "so you do like her then?" She said, Phillip sighed, "you two are going to be the death of me" he laughed.

Suddenly Phillip spotted Anne in the troupe, she was walking arm in arm with W.D, accompanied by Lettie, Constantine and Charles.

Phillip turned to the girls again, "okay you two need to shush now because Miss Wheeler is right over there" he whispered, "she is?" Helen asked, she turned in Phillip's lap very obviously to look at Anne.

Luckily she hadn't yet spotted them, "why don't you go talk to her?" Caroline suggested. Phillip breathed, a short laugh, "this is all quite juvenile don't you think?" He asked.

"Then why are you blushing?" Caroline asked, "Wha- I'm not- when did you get so smart?" Phillip asked hoping to change the subject but Helen slid off his lap and pulled him to his feet, "come on Phil, go talk to Anne" she said.

Phillip looked back at Anne, he turned a little pinker when he realised she was looking back at him.

He sighed again, "fine, if you insist" he agreed, he crouched down in front of the girls so he could hug them goodbye, "now you be good to your mom, if you're lucky I might even bring you two something special back from England" he said with a wink.

Phillip tapped Helen's nose before he stood up again causing her to burst into a fit of giggles, "good luck with Anne" Caroline said, "I hope you kiss her" Helen added.

Phillip bid them goodbye before he turned and began walking towards Anne and her friends, "yeah me too" he muttered under his breath.

Anne looked beautiful as always, she wore a modest cotton dress and the usual grey shawl wrapped around her shoulders but she looked incredible.

Her hair was pinned up into a messy bun although a few strands fell over her eyes Phillip was able to get a good view of her face.

As he approached he noticed she wore an anxious expression and there was fear in his eyes. Phillip looked to W.D and realise he wore the same fearful expression on his face as the one on Anne's.

Lettie and Constantine stood by their sides whispering encouragement to them as Charles walked in front of them, he looked protectively back at his friends and stared down anyone that looked at them for too long.

Phillip quickened his pace towards the group, falling short just in front of Charles, "Miss Wheeler, is everything alright?" He asked.

Anne looked startled by his presence, she looked up and tried to put on a brave face but Phillip could see her discomfort, "fine! Everything's fine" she said frantically in a hasty manner.

Lettie whispered something Phillip couldn't hear, Anne nodded and looked at the ground again, "what's wrong?" Phillip asked.

He looked at W.D but he wouldn't meet his eyes, in fact W.D looked ashamed and embarrassed as he too looked at the floor.

Charles looked up at Phillip disdainfully, "she said everything's fine Carlyle, I suggest you move on" he said harshly.

Anne shook her head, "it's okay Charles, thank you" she said quietly, Phillip frowned "Miss Wheeler?" He asked.

Lettie finally spoke up, "they're afraid of the water, W.D doesn't like ships and Anne can't swim" she explained.

Anne released W.D's arm and hugged her arms to her body, W.D clenched his jaw and grumbled in discomfort, neither one happy that their fear had been exposed to Phillip.

Constantine laid a hand on W.D's shoulder, "they're nervous about boarding, we can't get them to calm down" he added.

Phillip nodded and stepped around Charles so he stood in front of Anne, "just look at me" he said.

He held his hand out to Anne, she slowly raised her head to look at him. He sensed her hesitation but something told him to keep his hand raised out to her.

She glanced at his hand then at Lettie and finally into his eyes, she took a deep breath and accepted his hand.

He offered her a smile and began to walk backwards towards the gangplank, "don't look at the water, just keep your eyes on mine" he instructed.

Anne nodded and let him slowly lead her up the wooden plank, her breathing quickened when she heard the waves against the ship, her eyes faltered as she went to look but he caught her.

He touched her chin quickly with his free hand, guiding her eyes back onto him, "don't look, just focus on me" he said quickly.

Anne's breathing quickened for a different reason now, his hand was warm on her chin despite the cool wintery air. Her heart was already beating quickly from holding his hand and gazing into his eyes as he lead her onto the ship but now it doubled in pace,

Phillip continued to smile encouragingly at her, "you're doing great, nearly there" he told her, she tightened her grip on his hand when she felt the boat rock gently due to a large wave, "hey it's okay, you're fine, I've got you" he said calmingly.

Anne laughed nervously, "I'm sorry about this Sir" she said, he shook his head, "don't be silly" he laughed.

And then they were onboard, Anne hadn't noticed until Phillip released her hand, "you made it" Phillip said.

Anne looked about, "thank you Mr Carlyle, I'm not sure I would've been able to make it without your help".

He shook his head, "don't mention it, I'm always happy to help" he said modestly.

Anne turned around to realise W.D had even made it on board, all though he looked a little green by the time he fell into place next to her.

Lettie and Constantine had cheered him on whilst he slowly made his way up the gangplank with Charles cracking jokes to distract him.

Anne grabbed his arm, "hey are you alright?" She asked, he raised his fist to his mouth, "oh god… I think I'm going to go lie down" he murmured before he disappeared.

Anne turned back to Phillip, "I should go but thank you Mr Carlyle, I really appreciate it".

Phillip got a sudden thought, he surged forward and grabbed her hand to stop her, "Miss Wheeler wait!" He cried.

She stopped and looked at him, a confused frown on her face, "yes?" She asked.

Phillip was too aware of her friends watching him closely, "would you- uhh I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me to the upper deck, I can give you a tour of the ship" he stuttered.

Lettie raised her eyebrows and mumbled something to Constantine but Anne ignored them, instead she smiled to Phillip and nodded shyly, "I would love to Sir" she agreed.

He grinned and exhaled the breath he had been holding, "great, follow me" he gestured to the stairs leading to the inside of the ship.

He gave her a tour of the ship as he had promised, he cherished the amazed look on Anne's face as she looked at the grand dining halls, the spacious cabins and the beautiful ballrooms.

After he had shown her around the ship he took her up to the top deck where they could see the Manhattan skyline.

They watched as it got smaller and smaller, "it's beautiful isn't it?" Phillip asked, Anne watched with an awed expression, "it is, I never realised just how beautiful New York really is until I could see it like this" she breathed.

He smirked and leant against the metal railings, "sometimes you just have to look at the big picture" he said.

Anne turned to face him, his eyes were already on her, filling her with nervous excitement, "you're beautiful" he told her causing her to blush.

She looked down at the floor bashfully, "I should go see if W.D is feeling alright" Anne said, but she didn't really want to go.

He looked at her in a way that sent a shiver down her spine, she felt the oddest temptation to reach out and cup his cheek, "of course" he nodded.

He took a step closer, Anne held her breath, she could feel her heart pounding inside her chest, "would you allow me to escort you to your cabin?" He asked.

Anne swallowed, "that would be nice, thank you Sir" she smiled, they locked eyes and stood in place for a moment, just looking at each other.

She cleared her throat and smiled again, "by all means, lead the way" she said, looking away.

Although technically nothing had happened between them Anne felt giddy and light, she walked with a spring in her step as Phillip walked her to her room.

She felt a way she hadn't felt in a long time, happy.


	23. La Vie En Rose

Phillip found he couldn't sleep that night, his thoughts kept him awake, he couldn't help but replay the moment with Anne on the upper deck over and over in his head.

He wondered what her lips would feel like, what she would taste like, if his heart would race the way it did when she looked at him or if it would skip a beat altogether.

These thoughts wouldn't let him sleep, they nagged tirelessly at his brain, they made Phillip feel strong and weak all at once.

He eventually gave up deciding to go for a short walk, maybe that would exhaust him.

He got out of bed, dressed quickly and walked to the study. He had seen a drinks cabinet there earlier when he had showed Anne around the ship.

He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and an expensive crystal glass.

He hissed in approval as the cool liquid burnt his throat, he sat heavily on the couch.

He didn't need to think too hard to remember how Anne had smelled, she smelled vaguely of vanilla and something sweet.

He regretted not kissing her in that moment, when he took that step forward, when they were close enough for her sweet aroma to engulf him and then he was high on the smell of her.

He threw his head back against the couch, the thought overwhelmed him, he knew if he dwelled on the moment for too long it would drive him crazy. Phillip Carlyle was a sane, sensible man but when he was around Anne he felt almost as crazy as she was.

It was only when Phillip stood to pour himself a second drink that he noticed the grand piano opposite the fireplace.

Phillip lit the fire, filling the room with a cosy warmth then he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and sat at the piano.

He hadn't played in song long but his fingers ached for the keys again, his hands ghosted over the piano as he considered what he wished to play and then he thoughts danced over to Anne again and he knew immediately what he needed to play.

Anne lay in the dark listening to her brother's loud snores that shook the room. She was wide awake and knew there was no chance of sleeping any time soon.

She thought back to the intimate moment with Phillip alone on the upper deck of the ship, the New York city skyline behind them.

He had looked perfect to her in that moment, although that wasn't unusual for Phillip Carlyle. Even when he looked bad he looked good. He was frustratingly handsome all the time.

Not just your typical attractive man handsome, no Phillip Carlyle was pull your hair, lose your mind, mouth-wateringly handsome.

Another loud snore from W.D pulled her from her thoughts, even in his sleep he held Anne back away from Phillip.

She sighed, "must you be so noisy?" Anne asked out loud, of course her questions fell upon deaf ears but W.D happened to coincidentally let out another loud snore as if answering her.

She pulled herself out of bed, deciding she would find a quieter to place to think, she hadn't decided on what she wanted to think yet but she would figure it out once she got there.

She found her night gown and pulled it on to cover her modesty. She then slipped out of the room and tiptoed down the silent hallway.

The quiet was nice after the noise of W.D's snoring, she thought back to the study Phillip had showed her earlier that day when he'd showed around the ship.

It was isolated and quiet there, especially at this time so she made her way down the halls to reach the little room.

Before she could reach the study however she heard light piano music, she stopped and listened, she could faintly hear the sound of keys being played but she couldn't make out the song yet.

She crept closer, careful not to make a sound she didn't want whoever was playing to hear her and stop.

She crouched outside the study door and realised it was Phillip Carlyle playing, he sung softly along with the song she recognised from her childhood, La Vie En Rose.

Usually it was sung in French but he sang in English as he played the simple song.

"When you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose" she heard him sing from inside.

He had a remarkable voice, she'd never fathomed the possibility that he could sing but here she was, hiding outside the room listening as he sung a familiar song.

His voice was soft and beautiful, it mesmerised her she couldn't move or speak as he sung, it was like she was under his spell, cast by his voice.

She listened for a minute before deciding she would make her presence known, she stood and knocked on the door.

He stopped playing inside, there was a pause before he called out to come in, she pushed the door open and stood in the doorway.

"Miss Wheeler" Phillip gasped, "that was beautiful Mr Carlyle" Anne said, walking across the room towards him.

He turned red and his eyes widened, "you heard?" He asked, Anne nodded, "oh god, I never let anyone hear me sing" he muttered, he grabbed a glass and a bottle of whiskey from the top of the piano and poured himself a drink.

Anne sat next to him on the piano stool, "why? You have a great voice" she said, he laughed and drained his whiskey glass, "will you play to me?" Anne asked.

He looked at her hesitantly, "please" Anne said. He shut his eyes and nodded, he didn't look at her as he placed his hands in permission and began playing again slowly.

She could tell he was nervous so she offered him a sweet smile, he caught it from the corner of his eye and relaxed slightly.

"Hold me tight and hold me fast, this magical spell you cast, this is la vie en rose" he sang.

Anne held her breath, she was blown away by the sound of Phillip singing as he played the piano flawlessly, he was amazing.

She watched him as he played, "when you kiss me heaven sighs, and though I close my eyes I see la vie en rose".

Anne could feel herself falling in love with Phillip Carlyle, she already knew he had her heart but in this moment she could actually feel herself falling for him.

She placed her hands on the keys and began playing the piano along with him, he looked at her and smiled.

He was clearly a little surprised but he looked at her with such affection Anne felt a little flustered so she looked down at the piano.

"Everyday words seem to turn into love songs. Give your heart and soul to me and life will surely be" they sang together, in perfect harmony.

Anne couldn't help but to think about how good they sound together, how right it all felt.

She looked at Phillip and saw he was looking at her, "la vie en rose" they sang slowly together.

Anne breathed a short laugh, "that was amazing" Phillip murmured, "I didn't know you could sing" Anne whispered.

She noticed he was beginning to lean in, she noticed she was too, "I didn't know you could play" he whispered back.

She could feel his warm breath on her lips, they were a hairsbreadth apart, so close she could almost feel him but not quite touching.

She closed her eyes, her heart racing in her chest and then she accidentally leant on the keys of the piano, the loud sound startling them apart.

Anne cursed herself in her head, she had come so close to kissing Phillip Carlyle but then she had to go and mess up.

Phillip laughed, clearly amused, Anne joined in although she felt more embarrassed than anything else, "that was perfect" he laughed.

Anne lowered her head and tucked a curl behind her ear, "I'm sorry to ruin the moment Sir" she said.

He reached out and lifted her chin, to look at her. He smiled and all reasoning and rationality flew out of the window, it felt as if he was the only thing in the entire world, as if the world had gone completely dark and he was the only light.

He removed his hand but she wished he didn't, "please, call me Phillip" he said, "Anne" she replied.

He nodded, "thank you, Anne" he said playfully, she liked the way her name rolled off his tongue. It sounded right to her, even if it was just her name.

Everything about him, and them, together, felt right in a way Anne just couldn't understand or explain. It just felt right.

He reached for the whiskey bottle and poured himself another glass, she watched as he relaxed when he drained the glass again, "Phillip?" She asked.

He hummed and turned to her, "why do you drink so much?" Anne asked.

She was afraid she crossed the line, he picked up the whiskey bottle and walked over to the couch in front of the fire.

His face was troubled, his eyes empty again, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked" Anne said, walking over to him.

He shook his head as he gazed into the fire, "I drink for many reasons, none of them pleasant, but one" he pondered.

Anne cocked her head, "what do you mean?" She asked, he turned to her and licked his lips nervously. His hand gripped the glass so tightly in his hand she was afraid it might smash, "I like you Anne" he said.

Anne gasped at his words, she couldn't not, it had been obvious he had some sort of attraction to her, they had a subtle connection but to hear him say the words out loud was a little shocking but it made her heart sing.

Her mouth wouldn't work to make words and so he continued, "and I know I haven't known you long but you make me feel again, and when I'm around you I'm nervous. It's never felt like this before, and so I drink to calm my nerves. I don't get nervous, only around you" he explained.

Anne took a deep breath, "I like you too" she admitted, he grinned, "you do?" He asked.

Anne nodded, "I do, but let me ask you one thing, what do you mean it's never felt like this before? What was it like for you before?" She asked.

He almost looked ashamed as he avoided her eyes again, "I know what your friends must think of me, maybe what you think of me too. Undoubtedly you will have heard of my past, I'm not proud of it. I pursued woman after woman in hopes of feeling something or to fight the loneliness but it never did. But when I look at you, I feel something again" he said, he looked at her again when he finished.

Anne smiled, "I knew you weren't who they thought you were" she said, Phillip laughed lightly, "well I try not to be, I want to change, to be a better man. I'm hoping the circus can do that for me. Nobody knows who I really am, they just see Phillip Carlyle, the playwright, the alcoholic, the bachelor. But I'm not him, deep down inside I'm just Phillip Carlyle, the human" he said, staring at his empty glass.

Anne took the glass from his hands and set it on the desk where he had placed the bottle, "well now I know who you really are, or at least I'd like to" she said.

He frowned, a smile on his lips, "you would?" He asked, Anne nodded, "so tell me about yourself, Phillip" she sat on the couch and gestured to the empty space next to her.

They sat for hours and just talked, about themselves, their dreams, who they wanted to be.

It was nice, to just sit there in front of the fire with Phillip and talk, for the first time she didn't feel nervous around him.

She didn't feel her heart racing or her body shaking, she just felt relaxed and comfortable in his presence.

When he stood and retrieved his pipe for a smoke he offered it to her, "would you like some?" He asked.

Anne looked at the pipe hesitantly, "I've never smoked before, how do you do it?" She asked, he laughed, "it's easy, look I'll show you" he raised the pipe to his lips and inhaled, the tobacco in the pipe glowed orange.

He then removed the pipe and blew out, a large cloud of smoke billowed from his mouth like a dragon, he held out the pipe, "do you want to try it?" He asked.

Anne carefully took the pipe, "okay" she accepted, she looked at him nervously as she raised the pipe to her lips, she breathed in just as he had done but immediately felt her lungs be filled with the thick, heavy smoke.

She doubled over and coughed violently, he laughed and patted her back, "are you okay?" He asked through his laughter.

Anne sat back up and handed him the pipe, still coughing, "I guess smoking isn't for me" she sputtered.

He laughed and took the pipe back, she watched as he expertly took another drag without choking like she did, "good, smoking's a nasty habit, you shouldn't get into it" he said through the smoke.

Anne hid her face in her hands, "oh my, how embarrassing for me" she muttered, he laughed and moved her hands from her face, "don't fret, I think it was quite cute actually" he said.

Anne arched her eyebrow, "cute?" She repeated, he grinned and nodded, "yes cute, like the face you make when you raise one eyebrow, how do you do that?" He asked.

Anne realised what she was doing and lowered her brow again, "can you not do that?" She asked, she hadn't realised it was anything but the ordinary.

He scrunched up his face as he tried before he relaxed with a sigh and a sheepish grin, "nope" he concluded.

Anne giggled at his attempts, "I don't know how I do it, I just" she said and raised one eyebrow.

She laughed again at the impressed expression on his face, "you know you are not who I expected you to be Mr- Phillip" Anne said.

He leaned back on the couch, "I get that a lot, well actually I don't, but stick around and I'll show you the real Phillip Carlyle" he said.

She smiled and leaned back to, "I'd like that".

She wasn't sure when it happened or how but by dawn she had fallen asleep on Phillip's shoulder, his hand rested lightly on her lower back as he slept too.

This would later get her in a lot of trouble but at the time it was nice, sleeping next to him like everything else felt right to her.


	24. Move On Carlyle

"What the fuck are you doing with my sister?" Anne heard a crash, she opened her eyes groggily to see W.D had Phillip pinned against the wall by his throat.

Anne shook the sleep from her head and raced over to W.D attempting to pull him off a very terrified looking Phillip, "W.D stop it" she ordered but he ignored her.

He shook Phillip violently, his head hit the wall with a sickening thud, "how dare you defile her like that" he roared.

Phillip made a strained gasping sound and clawed at W.D hands but W.D was much stronger than him, "W.D he can't breath let him go!" Anne cried pulling at his shoulder.

He punched Phillip in the gut and let him fall to the ground before he began to hit him repeatedly in the stomach finishing off with a hard kick to his groin.

Phillip let out a tortured scream and doubled over as he writhed on the floor in pain, Anne threw herself between W.D and Phillip, "what the hell was that for?" She asked furiously.

Anne fell to her knees and rolled Phillip over checking the damage done, "what the fuck did he do to you?" W.D demanded, Anne gave him a look of anger, "nothing, we were just talking last night and must've fallen asleep you idiot".

She helped Phillip to his feet, "are you okay?" Phillip nodded weakly, "yeah I-" he began before his legs buckled.

Anne caught him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders so she could help him limp over to the couch again.

W.D crossed his arms as he watched them, "then why were you all cuddled up like that huh?" He asked, Anne sighed, "nothing happened, maybe you should've made sure of that before you attacked the poor guy" she retorted angrily.

Phillip held up his good hand whilst the other clutched at his stomach, "really I'm okay" he insisted but it came out more of a strained gasp.

W.D grabbed Anne's arm and pulled her away from Phillip, "what the hell were you thinking spending the night alone with that man?" he hissed.

Phillip got painfully to his feet, "Mr Wheeler, I understand what you may have heard about me and what sort of opinion you most probably hold for me but I can assure you, hand on heart, nothing happened between me and your sister. I am not that man anymore, nor would I ever take advantage of Anne" he promised.

W.D scoffed, "Anne? Oh we're on a first name basis now are we? Why should I believe a word you say considering your past and the compromising position I just found you with my sister?" He asked.

"Don't you trust me?" Anne asked, "it's not you I don't trust it's him. You've seen the kind of man he really is" W.D argued.

Anne held her hands on her hips, "yes I have, but you haven't. He's not the man you see in the newspapers and even if he was I am not a little girl anymore, I am a grown woman and I am fully capable of making my own decisions. Stop treating me like I'm a child, I'm not your baby sister anymore, you've gotta learn to deal with it" she said harshly.

W.D looked a little taken aback and hurt but Anne didn't care, she was sick of the way he treated her.

Phillip took a step forward, "W.D I like your sister, I understand that might be a little difficult to hear but she's right, she isn't a child anymore. You have every right to be protective but I promise you I'm not going to do anything to hurt her".

W.D laughed, "oh you like her huh? You ain't gonna hurt her? You a white man, she ain't like you. Look at us, we're niggers. So tell me what you gonna do when all your rich whitey friends see you with a black girl? You gonna stand up for her when you walking down the street and you've got every white man that look like you hollering at her? Calling her disgusting names. What you gonna do when they start coming for you? When they call you a nigger lover and a mud shark? Cause they will, then what? What are you gonna do then white boy?" He asked, advancing on Phillip and stabbing his finger at his chest.

Phillip opened his mouth to speak but no words came out, "ain't got nothing to say for yourself? Yeah that's what I thought, nothing. You gonna do nothing. Cause you're a rich little white boy just looking to have his fun, you think you like Anne, hell you might really do but I know your type. When it starts getting tough you're gonna bail on Anne and break her heart and then me and her friends, the people that really care about her, we're gonna be the ones picking up the pieces. So why don't you just do what's best for her and back the fuck off cracker" he spat.

Phillip clenched his jaw and balled his fists, "why does everyone think I want to hurt her? I've never felt the way I feel about Anne and if that means putting up with a few little comments from closed minded nobodies so be it. I'm not going to abandon her" he yelled.

W.D laughed again, "you think it's just gonna be a few little comments? No. Being a young pretty black girl in New York city is dangerous as hell, it ain't gonna be a few little comments. If you wanna be with Anne you gotta look out for her every time you walk outside, if you wanna be with Anne you gotta deal with the very real possibility you gonna get your skinny white ass beat for being seen with her let alone touching her or kissing her. It's all fun and games for you but blacks and whites don't belong together 'cause for you to be with a black girl you're signing up for a lifetime of hardship and danger and I know you won't think she's worth it. Not in the long run. You can say you'll do it all now but you'll get bored of her life eventually and you'll leave and you'll hurt her. I ain't letting you break my little sister so take my advice and move on Carlyle because if I see you around her again? I'll do whatever it takes to protect Anne and I hope you know that" he said dangerously calm.

He reminded Phillip of how the storm goes quiet before a hurricane, he was standing extremely close, his face a mere few inches from Phillip's.

Phillip thought it best he say nothing so he didn't, W.D studied him for a few seconds before he grimaced, "I bid you a good day Sir, I'll let you two say goodbye" he said patting Phillip's cheek before he turned and left.

Phillip turned to Anne, she wasn't looking at him but instead staring sadly at the floor, "Anne…" Phillip sighed.

He took a step towards her his hand raised to brush against her cheek but she shook her head and stepped back out of his touch, "W.D's right Phillip, I'm black and you're white, it's never gonna work, I was stupid to think it ever could. I'm sorry, you deserve better than the life you'd have with me. Goodbye Phillip" she said.

She stepped forward and kissed his cheek, her hand caressing his face before she took a step back, "I'm sorry" she breathed before she ran out of the room, hand to her mouth.

Phillip watched after her in disbelief, he wanted to move but he couldn't. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as his heart started to fall apart. Last night he and Anne had said they liked each other and he was king of the world, now he watched her walk out of his life and he was reminded of why he didn't like to feel things.

When you feel you get hurt, being numb meant no happiness but it also meant nobody could hurt you. He'd been invincible, nobody could touch him, nobody could climb his walls, he was safe inside of his head. Anne had walked in his life and took that all away and left him feeling way worse than he'd felt to begin with.

He grabbed the whiskey bottle still open from last night and collapsed onto the couch holding his head in his hands. He'd forgotten all about the physical pain from being beaten up by W.D, the emotional pain was the one that consumed him. He didn't know how he would get past this and so he took a swig from the bottle not even bothering to fill the glass.


	25. Friends or Colleagues

"Please" Lettie begged, Anne raised her brow at her friend over the dress she was fixing, "Anne c'mon tell me what happened with Carlyle" she pleaded.

Anne sighed and lowered the dress slightly, "Lettie, I'll tell you what I've told you every day for the past week. What happened between me and Phillip is my business and nobody else's" she said.

She groaned unhappily, "I'm your best friend, why won't you tell me?" She asked, "you may be my best friend but that does not mean you're entitled to know whatever may or may not have happened between me and Phillip".

It had been a week since Anne had told Phillip it couldn't possibly work between them and nobody had seen Phillip since. He didn't show up to any of the meals nor did he show to any of the rehearsals, not that he had to.

Word had spread that something had happened between him and Anne but nobody knew what, nobody but him, Anne and W.D that is.

Anne much to her friends' despair wouldn't reveal to any of them what had happened on that fateful morning, she didn't want to have to explain that they couldn't be together because of the colour of her skin, mostly because she couldn't believe it herself.

She knew how Phillip would be treated if he was seen in public with a girl like her but she didn't understand why the colour of her skin was the source of so much hatred.

Now on the eighth day since the incident Anne and Lettie sat in the dining hall, which doubled as the room the troupe hung around and socialised in during the day, fixing the troupe's costumes they would wear to meet the Queen in.

P.T had realised both Anne and Lettie were skilled in tailoring and he could save money having them to repair clothes rather than taking them to a professional tailor.

W.D and the guys sat next to them talking about whatever guys talked about whilst Lettie pestered Anne for the answer of what went down between her and Phillip.

Lettie sighed heavily as she threaded her needle through Chang and Eng's suit, "just tell me why you won't talk about it then, what's the real reason you won't tell any of us what happened?" She asked.

W.D looked up from his conversation with Constantine and Charles, "come on Lettie, she's not gonna tell you" he said.

Lettie turned to W.D, "you! You know, why won't you tell me?" She asked, W.D rolled his eyes and looked to Anne, "because Anne's asked me not to tell anyone and so I won't".

Constantine and Charles had lost in whatever conversation they had been having before and tuned into the new one on what happened with Anne and Phillip.

"Back in Russia we do not keep secrets from our friends as our friends are like our family and families do not have secrets" Constantine said, Lettie nodded and pointed to him.

Anne sighed and put down the dress, it was clear she wasn't going to be able to get any work done, "you want to know why I won't tell you so bad?" She asked.

"Yes" Charles, Lettie and Constantine answered excitedly straight away, "because what happened was entirely unfair and I think two people should be able to be together regardless of race" she snapped.

Lettie's face fell, she wrapped her arm around Anne's shoulder pulling her into a hug, "oh honey, I'm sorry".

Anne took a deep breath, "but you're right Constantine, I shouldn't keep secrets from you guys, I'll tell you what happened" she said.

Charles placed his hand on Anne's, "are you sure you're ready?" He asked, he could be surprisingly soft and caring when it came to his friends.

Anne nodded, "I couldn't sleep last week so I decided I would go for a walk when I heard Phillip playing the piano in the study. I ended up spending the night with him, not like that. We sung together and talked but nothing happened. Well we'd been talking for hours so eventually we both fell asleep, W.D found us the morning after and assumed something had happened considering Phillip's past but he isn't like that. W.D got mad at Phillip and gave him this big talk about how difficult it would be for him if he were to be in an openly public relationship with a black girl and I realised he was right and so I said goodbye to Phillip and that's it. Nobody's seen him since" she explained.

"I wouldn't be so sure" Lettie said, Anne turned to ask her what she meant when she saw Phillip creep into the dining room.

He looked awful, his skin was a sickly white and he had massive dark bags under his eyes. His hair was messy and unstyled with cowlicks sticking up everywhere.

He kept to the back wall in hopes of not being seen as he edged his way towards the buffet table stocked with food, P.T however spotted him. He walked over to Phillip and clapped him on the back with a cheery smile, he said something that Anne couldn't hear from the other side of the room but Phillip just shook his head gloomily and muttered something in response.

They had a short silent conversation, P.T looking cheerful and upbeat as he always did, Phillip looking glum and miserable.

Anne watched him with shuddering breath, seeing him in such an unpresentable state just made her feel worse. She'd been battling with unhappiness herself, her heart broke when she had said goodbye to Phillip.

Now watching him it was clear he was intoxicated from something far worse than whiskey, his eyes were red and bloodshot, his actions were slower and more sluggish than usual.

Her stomach turned at the thought of her being the reason he looked like this.

W.D looked concernedly at Anne, "are you alright?" He asked, "would you like us to do something?" Charles added.

Anne looked back at them and smiled weakly, she shook her head, "no it's okay, although I should probably go talk to him" she started to get up.

Lettie put her hand out to stop her, "do you really think that's the best idea?" She asked.

Anne sighed, "not really but look at him. Even if I can't be with him, I still care for him. I've got all of you guys to look out for me, who has he got?" She said.

W.D shifted, "yes but will you be okay?" He asked, Anne just smiled, "I guess we're about to find out".

Phillip continued to talk to P.T as Anne made her way across the room to him, he hadn't noticed her yet but P.T did, "I'll just leave you alone for now, it looks like Anne would like to talk to you son" P.T said, patting his shoulder.

Phillip's head shot up, he looked like a deer caught in a hunter's light as he looked at her for the first time, "no no no no" he stammered grabbing P.T's arm.

P.T eased his grip, "you'll be alright, come find me afterwards if you need to" he said kindly before he backed off leaving the two of them alone.

Anne could see him more clearly now, he was sweating and shaking like a leaf, she had seen enough men emerging dens on the streets to tell Phillip had clearly taken some sort of opioid.

Phillip lowered his head, "I should go" he murmured, Anne grabbed his hand, he was hot to the touch, confirming her suspicions "are you doing okay?" She asked.

He hesitated before he looked at her again, "it's not your decision to make if I'm willing to do what it takes or not because I would" he said ignoring her question.

Anne dropped her hand and looked back to her friends. They were all watching them undoubtedly trying to figure out what they were saying, "maybe not but you're clearly not thinking straight. It appears you're high on an opioid so let me ask you what did you take?".

He sighed, "that doesn't matter. So what are we then? are we just friends? Colleagues?" He asked, Anne took a deep breath, "I think friends or colleagues would be best" she answered.

She ignored the pain in her chest, everything hurt she didn't want to just be friends. Telling him they were just friends hurt more than anything's ever hurt her before but she knew she had to be the rational one, she had to be the one who thought of the consequences because Phillip clearly wasn't thinking straight.

Phillip massaged the bridge of his nose, "fine" he said coldly, Anne was trying so hard to keep it together for him but it was getting increasingly difficult.

"Phillip-" she touched his shoulder but he pushed her off, "no it's fine. I'll just be the man who signs your paycheck and nothing more, excuse me" he said angrily before he turned and left.

Lettie and W.D raced over to her, "are you okay?" W.D asked, "what did he say?" Lettie asked.

Anne swallowed hard, there was a burning lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow down, "nothing, I need to go" she said pushing past them.

Lettie grabbed her arm, "Anne wait" she protested, Anne shook her head, "I need some air, please don't follow me" she said.

She walked to her and W.D's room and shoved her face in her pillow before she let the emotion engulf her. That conversation with Phillip was one of the hardest conversations she'd ever had to have.

She just hoped she could put herself together again before they arrived in London in a short two days-time.


	26. The Apology

Phillip woke up to a knocking at his door, "what?" He groaned, he heard the door swing open and footsteps approaching, "good morning sunshine" Phillip heard P.T say.

Phillip grunted and shoved his face in the pillow "what do you want?" He asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.

P.T chuckled, "forgetting something?" He asked, Phillip lifted his head and looked at him wearily, "what?" He asked.

P.T held up Phillip's tuxedo, "oh I don't know, how about meeting the Queen of England?" He suggested. Phillip sat bolt upright, "that's today? That's today!" He muttered.

P.T sat next to Phillip, "how're you feeling?" He asked, Phillip shook his head and buried his face in his hands, "I fucked up with Anne P, I need to apologise".

P.T pulled out his pocket watch, "well what're you waiting for? You've still got time, we don't have to get going for a few hours" he reminded him.

Phillip pulled his head out of his hands, "you're right! I'll talk to her before we leave the ship!" He exclaimed.

P.T laughed, "it's good to see you feeling better" he nudged Phillip's arm and stood, "now get dressed" he ordered.

Phillip laughed, "yes Sir" he said grabbing the tuxedo. He waited until P.T had left before he raced to his bathroom.

He quickly bathed and shaved, already he felt and look better than he had all week.

He inspected himself in the mirror, he looked smart. He wore a black suit jacket with tails and a matching pair of slacks, a matching baby blue shirt and waist coat and a white bowtie.

He smirked at his reflection as he styled his hair, he was filled with confidence as he thought about the day lying ahead of him.

Most people would be nervous at the idea of meeting the Queen of England but Phillip was charming and charismatic, socialising in high class situations was one of the things Phillip did best.

He sprayed his neck and wrists with expensive cologne and ran a comb through his hair. He looked in the mirror one last time then nodded to himself, he was ready to find Anne and apologise.

She wasn't too hard to find, it was still early and so she was in her cabin with W.D. Phillip knocked on her door and waited, W.D was the one to appear at the door.

He was dressed in a costume very similar to the one he performs in, he wore rich purple slacks made from velvet and a matching velvet shirt fastened by rose gold buttons. His collar was a paler purple colour and covered in gold sparkles. He also wore a matching rich purple jacket lined with the same golden sparkles.

Phillip raised his eyebrows at his costume, "wow you're… Sparkly" he noted, W.D crossed his arms over his chest, "what do you want Carlyle?" He asked.

Phillip held up his hands, "I get it, you're probably mad at me but is Anne there?" He asked, "nope" W.D said, "yes" Anne called from inside.

She appeared behind W.D, "move" she told him, he sighed but reluctantly stepped out of the way.

She too was in her costume, she wore a purple leotard the same colour as W.D's outfit and very similar to her usual performing costume and her pink wig. It was slightly fancier however, it was made of an expensive looking satin and complimented her body in ways Phillip didn't want to linger on.

The leotard had a V cut finishing just below her chest, a thin netted material covered her bare skin and was covered in the same golden sparkles from W.D's costume. She had a small singular bow on her stomach below where the V cut finished and a cape around her shoulders that matched her leotard, fastened by a small rose gold button also matching the one's from W.D's costume.

She frowned, "Phillip, you look very smart" she said her eyes wandering for a second. W.D raised his eyebrow to her, she cleared her throat, "what're you doing here?" She asked.

Phillip looked at W.D then her, "I would like to apologise for how I spoke to you the other day" he said.

Anne nodded slowly before she turned to W.D, "could you give us some privacy please D" she asked.

He crossed his arm and looked between her and Phillip silently, "W.D" Anne said a little more firmly.

He sighed and nodded, "I'll just be in here" he said, uncrossing his arms and kissing her cheek, "thank you".

She turned back to Phillip, "I'm sorry, you were saying?" She asked.

He breathed a soft laugh, "right". He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, "I wanted to apologise, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I was just feeling upset, and angry and as you said, I wasn't thinking clearly. But I should never have taken it out on you like that, I'm sorry Anne, could you ever forgive me?" He asked.

She smiled offered him a friendly smile, "of course, apology accepted" she said, Phillip grinned, "thank you, you uh- you look beautiful by the way" he said nervously.

She snorted, "oh please, I highly doubt I am fit to meet the Queen dressed in this, but you know what Barnum is like" she laughed, Phillip exhaled hard and nodded, "indeed I do, that man and his crazy ideas" he laughed.

He and Anne laughed together for a second, "so, are we okay?" Phillip asked, Anne smirked at his question, "yeah, we're fine" she replied leaning against her doorframe.

Phillip sucked his teeth as he looked at her, she really did look beautiful. He pulled his hands out of his pocket, "but with all due respect, I hope you know I don't give up easy. Black or not, I like you Anne, and I'm not giving up on you" he said.

Anne looked shocked by his words but before she could reply he continued, "now if you excuse me I have to find Mr Barnum, I'll see you later" he winked and turned on his heel.

He smirked to himself as he walked away, he could feel her eyes on him but he meant what he said. He'd had some time to mull things over since he had last spoken to her and he realised he wasn't ready to give up and just be friends.

He had fallen in love with her that night they spent together and he fell a little deeper every time he looked at her. The thought had startled him at first, he was Phillip Carlyle and Phillip Carlyle doesn't fall in love.

Except he does, with beautiful girls named Anne Wheeler and that was special. He'd never been in love before and so he knew Anne was worth fighting for and that's exactly what he would do.

He knocked on P.T's door, "come in" he called from inside. Phillip walked in with a satisfied grin on his face, P.T returned the smile, "how'd it go?" He asked, but he didn't need to, the smile on Phillip's face told him everything he needed to know.

Phillip held his hands behind his back, "perfect" he replied happily. P.T laughed, "I'm glad to hear it, so what do you think?" He asked.

Phillip smirked, "I think I'm ready to meet the Queen" he answered confidently.


	27. They Perform For The Queen

The troupe arrived at Buckingham palace and were met with looks of confusion and judgement, the guards didn't know what to make of them all.

One of the guards approached them slowly, regarding them cautiously as if they had some sort of contagious disease, "can I help you?" He asked P.T.

Phillip presented the letter from his breast pocket, "we have a reception with the Queen" he said.

The guard took the letter and read it quickly, "of course, my apologies" he handed the letter back to Phillip and turned to P.T, "you must be Mr Phineas T Barnum" he said stiffly.

P.T smiled and offered him his hand, "at your service" he said, the guard glanced down at his hand and back up at P.T and the troupe, "follow me" he said.

P.T laughed to Phillip, "he's chatty" he joked. The guard led them through the palace down an extravagant looking white marble hallway with high ceilings and portraits of important looking people lining the walls.

The guards and footmen and royal servants all stopped and stared as the troupe walked past them down the hall. They'd probably never seen such a large band of exotic peoples gathered in one place but they snickered and murmured and pointed at the different people.

W.D crossed his arms over his chest as they rounded a corner to a shorter similar looking hallway. He sped up a little so he fell next to Lettie and behind P.T and Phillip, "why aren't we in tails?" He asked.

P.T turned his head to look at him, "we're the entertainment" he whispered, "don't see you in a costume" Lettie muttered. The troupe were becoming increasingly more nervous and insecure.

The guard slowed in front of them and Phillip held up his hand to silence them, he turned the corner into the throne room where the Queen sat at the end of a red velvet carpet.

He entered the room and stopped, "your majesty, Mr Phineas T Barnum and his… Oddities from America" the guard introduced them before he stood to the side and gestured for them to approach the Queen.

Phillip looked at P.T and took a deep breath before they began down the red carpet towards the Queen. On either side of the red carpet were guards holding axes and weapons or fancy upper-class folk dressed in tuxedos and high dress attire.

The aristocrats gasped and whispered to one another as the troupe walked down the carpet.

The troupe watched them nervously as they walked, W.D nodded to a few unsure what else to do. Anne didn't look up at all, her eyes focussed on the floor in front of her. Lettie walked with a grave expression, anticipating the judgement and hatred they were sure to receive.

P.T and Phillip kept their eyes trained on the Queen in front of them, she sat on her throne, a black cavalier King Charles spaniel sat at her feet.

She wore a long formal gown and white gloves with a blue sash slung over her shoulder, a diamond necklace around her neck and the crown placed on her head.

Phillip and P.T stopped at the end of the red carpet, just before the steps leading to the Queen. Phillip held his hands behind his back and took a deep breath, "your majesty, may I present Mr Barnum" Phillip said, bowing his head to her.

"The honour is mine Mr Barnum" the Queen said, she spoke with a posh English accent and perfect enunciation.

P.T smiled and bowed his head, "and I've heard all about your little colonel from my friends in America" the Queen continued.

Charles stepped out from behind Phillip's legs and smiled, "general ma'am" he corrected, the Queen looked down at him with a perplexed look on her face, "you're even smaller than I imagined" she gasped.

"Well you're not exactly reaching the top shelf yourself sweetheart" he replied his smile unfaltering. All the aristocrats in the room gasped and the Queen clasped her chest in shock.

Phillip's eyes widened as he looked down at Charles, all the "oddities" held their breath and bowed their heads. They had messed up big time, the Queen would have them all sentenced to death and have their heads chopped off surely.

Anne looked at her brother as they bowed their heads in fear. He clenched his jaw and stared at the floor, they were all scared for their lives.

P.T looked at Phillip panic etched in his face and then back at the Queen, she had a stone-cold face as she held her hand over her chest.

Then she opened her mouth, Phillip flinched this was it. She'd have the guards with their pointy weapons seize them and drag them off to the dungeons to be tortured.

But then the Queen did something none of them expected her to do, she burst out laughing. P.T's jaw dropped, Phillip raised his eyebrows in surprise. Lettie and the other's raised their heads to watch her in confusion.

The Queen kept laughing until soon the whole room was laughing too. Charles frowned and looked up at Phillip. Phillip began laughing nudging Lettie to prompt her to do so too.

Lettie cocked her head at W.D, "Anne" he whispered and they joined in on the laughter, the troupe let out forced laughter out of respect for the Queen although most of the troupe didn't need to fake it.

They all found Charles' quick wit and humour amusing and given the situation they all found him hilarious, they couldn't think of anybody else who would coolly banter with the Queen the way he did.

The Queen wiped at her eyes, "you are quick the comedian Mr…" she prompted, Charles bowed, "Stratton ma'am. Charles Stratton, although I often go by my stage name, Tom Thumb" he said politely.

She nodded her head, "I see, how intriguing. Mr Carlyle, you wrote to my niece promising you could provide me with a show, is that correct?" She asked.

Phillip stepped forward, "it is ma'am, is there a stage or somewhere where my friends may perform for you?" He asked.

The Queen stood, "there is, follow me to my personal theatre. Dash come" she ordered to her dog. The troupe parted for her and Dash as she walked past them through the throne room.

Phillip and P.T allowed her a moment before they turned and lead the so-called oddities after her. The aristocrats then followed the troupe. They walked through the palace until the Queen brought them into a large opera sized theatre.

She took seat on a throne at the front with a pillow next to the legs for Dash, she gestured to the stage, "you may begin when you're ready" she said. The aristocrats filed in after her taking their seats in the theatre too.

Phillip and P.T walked onto the stage followed by the theatrical troupe. P.T nodded to the "oddities" and they rearranged themselves in a pre-planned formation.

Phillip walked down stage so he stood directly in front of the Queen, "I believe Mr Barnum and the theatrical troupe have something special to show you, your majesty. Might I just say how talented and extraordinary each and every one of my friends are, I know they've worked hard to piece something amazing for you, your majesty so I hope you and Dash enjoy" he bowed and stood to the side of the stage.

Barnum tapped his foot, counting the "oddities" in before they began vocalising in time with each other, "whoa oh ohhhh!" they sang.

Phillip knew that Barnum had written them a new song for them to perform but this was the first time he'd ever heard it.

They repeated this 5 times until P.T stamped his foot, they sung again this time stomping in beat, "ladies and gents this is the moment you've waited for" P.T whispered.

The troupe sang again, "been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor" P.T continued.

"and buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore, taking your breath, stealing your mind and all that is real is left behind" P.T strolled around the troupe, they all entered their first positions.

"Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya. It's only this moment, don't care what comes after. Your fever dream, can't you see it getting closer. Just surrender 'cause you feel the feeling taking over!" P.T sang, the troupe switched from pose to pose smoothly and Phillip had to admit it looked really good.

"It's fire! It's freedom! It's flooding open! It's a preacher in the pulpit and you'll find devotion! There's something breaking at the brick of every wall that it's holding and all that you know… So tell me do you wanna go?" P.T sung loudly.

The fire breathers spat flames, Anne and W.D backflipped across the stage, the knife jugglers pulled knives from their belts and began launching them into the air and all the oddities began dancing enthusiastically.

Anne winked to Phillip as she backed unnoticeably off the stage and towards a ladder leading to the rigging high above where trapeze equipment was suspended for her and W.D.

He laughed and watched her scale the large ladder insanely quickly, she truly was incredible at everything she did.

"Where it's covered in all the coloured lights? Where's the runaways are running the night! Impossible comes true, it's taking over you… Oh this is the greatest show!" The troupe joined in.

At that point Anne and W.D swung back into view, flying across the stage and leaping from one swing to the next flawlessly. The Queen gasped as she watched them.

Anne smirked and double flipped through the air, showing off a little.

"We light it up, we won't come down and the sun can't stop us now" Lettie ran forward and sang solely before the troupe danced next to her again and joined in, "watching it come true it's taking over you!" They all sang.

They then formed a tight pack under Anne as she jumped for W.D's arms and fell short falling safely into their arms.

Everyone in the theatre gasped or jumped to their feet as she fell, not knowing it was part of the act.

"This is the greatest show!" They finished throwing Anne back into the air where she backflipped and landed in the splits perfectly.

Phillip winced and bit his fist, that must've hurt. His groin ached in sympathy pains but Anne didn't look at all phased.

The troupe held their last positions as they sang the final note until they fell silent again, gasping and panting. The Queen had a large smile on her face, her dog at her feet wagged his tail not entirely sure what was happening but very happy about it.

She rose to her feet and applauded loudly, "bravo! That was delightful!" She exclaimed.

The rest of the aristocrats followed her lead and gave the troupe a standing ovation.

P.T looked to Phillip and grinned, Phillip could see he was ecstatic and barely containing his excitement.

The Queen laughed, "I have goosebumps Mr Barnum, your circus is remarkable!" She said happily.

P.T bowed, "thank you, your majesty. I'm glad you enjoyed it" he said humbly although he smiled from ear to ear.

The Queen beckoned a guard forward and whispered something in his ear. The guard went running off and the Queen turned back to the troupe, "come, I'm hosting a reception where you may meet some people almost remarkable as yourselves" she said.

Phillip ran forward next to P.T again, "thank you, your majesty. It's an honour" he bowed.

She smiled and picked up her dog, "come, follow me" she ordered before walking out of the theatre again.

Phillip smirked at P.T, once again his jaw dropped and he watched the Queen in disbelief, "she really liked us… We have a reception to attend" he gasped.

Phillip nodded, "let's go" he said. He couldn't help but to think how well he had done getting them an opportunity to meet and perform for the Queen and now meeting other important, high class people who could boost the circus way up the social ladder as P.T had wanted.


	28. The Long Game

They returned to the throne room where footmen in tuxedos waited with silver platters loaded with champagne.

Despite the performance they had just given lots of the higher-class gentlemen and ladies regarded the troupe with distaste and judging glares.

The Queen turned to Phillip and P.T, "forget the snobs, us Brits can sometimes be stuck in our ways. That performance you gave was sensational, I shall spread good word of your circus Mr Barnum. Now relax, help yourselves to the refreshment" she said.

Her smile was genuine, as was the twinkle in her eye, P.T's mouth hung open, unsure of what to say so he just gawked at her. Phillip cleared his throat and nudged P.T in the ribs, "thank you your majesty" Phillip said.

She nodded and turned to talk to someone else. P.T grabbed two champagne flutes from a platter the footman offered him, "well that went well" he murmured but Phillip wasn't listening.

He was watching Anne, she huddled with the troupe against the back wall. She hid behind W.D and pulled on her cape in an attempt to cover her as much as she could. She looked nervously around the room, noticing all the hateful stares directed at her.

P.T nudged Phillip's arm, drawing his attention back to him, "Phillip" he called. Phillip reluctantly tore his eyes away from Anne, he wanted nothing more than to go over and talk to her but first he had duties to fulfil.

A fanfare sounded across the throne room, "your majesty! Miss Jenny Lind" one of the Queen's guards introduced loudly.

Phillip sipped at the champagne, grateful for the buzz to quieten his thoughts. He and P.T watched as the infamous opera singer entered and floated gracefully over to Queen Victoria.

She wore a dazzling white dress and looked flawlessly beautiful, "who's that?" P.T asked, he looked at P.T dubiously. How could he not have heard of Jenny Lind?

"The opera singer?" Phillip prompted, "singer?" He asked not taking his eyes off Jenny Lind as she walked.

Phillip frowned at P.T's obliviousness, he knew they came from different streams but surely he'd heard of the great Jenny Lind.

"She's the most famous performer in all of Europe" Phillip explained looking back at Jenny Lind. He was awed to be in her presence as many people were, heads turned to watch her as she glided across the throne room.

He'd been fortunate enough to attend a few of her operas in the past she was incredible. She had a voice like no other, she was able to sell out of tickets for every show she performed, she was the most respectable opera singers of the era.

"She sold out the La Scalaa dozen times, not to mention the French Opera" Phillip continued. The two men watched her, both impressed beyond bounds to be in her presence, Phillip more than P.T but P.T had a plan, as he always did.

He placed his hand on Phillip's back as he lead them both forward, and towards Jenny Lind, "what are you doing?" Phillip asked.

P.T smiled and nodded to the aristocrats as they made their way over, "following you so you can introduce me to Miss Lind" he said.

Phillip stopped in his tracks and looked at P.T like he was crazy, although at this point Phillip knew him well enough to know he was, "introduce you? I don't know her" Phillip protested.

P.T waved his hand casually, "everybody knows her, you just said so yourself" P.T said forcing Phillip forwards, "yeah exactly you don't just march up to someone like this" Phillip whispered.

He was amazed by P.T's lack of social etiquette as he lead Phillip closer and closer to Jenny Lind, he struggled against his grip but P.T wasn't having any of it, "why not? We're personable, she's a person" he whispered back.

They had arrived behind her, there was no turning back. Phillip set a pointed glare at P.T before he cleared his throat, causing Jenny Lind to turn around to face them.

Phillip jerked his head nervously, he was never usually nervous meeting new people but this was Jenny Lind. He smiled politely, "Miss Lind, my name is Phillip Carlyle" he said.

He took her hand and placed a kiss to her gloved knuckle as social etiquette followed, "and this extraordinary gentleman next to me-" he began looking back and forth between P.T and Jenny Lind.

"Phineas Taylor Barnum" P.T interrupted, "the pleasure is mine", he at least knew to follow Phillip's suit. He took Jenny Lind's hand and kissed it just as Phillip had done.

She nodded to them both, "of course, you're the American. I believe I might've heard of you" she said. She had a sophisticated British accent, similar to the Queen's, she too spoke with impeccable diction.

P.T smirked, "oh well, if you've heard of me all the way over here, I must be doing something right" he crowed, "that or something very wrong" Jenny remarked.

P.T raised his eyebrows but nodded coolly, "hm, well in the world of publicity, there's hardly a difference" he replied with a smile.

Jenny glanced at Phillip, he chuckled nervously, "I believe those are the words of a scandal Mr Barnum" Jenny Lind pressed.

Phillip was growing increasingly nervous but P.T kept calm and cool, "a showman Miss Lind. Just a showman, the best on my side of the Atlantic" P.T corrected.

Jenny Lind turned her head, "well if you do say so yourself" she whispered, P.T smiled and nodded, "I do, but I don't have to" he said, nudging Phillip.

Phillip sprung to life, "oh no! No, he is, one of the best" Phillip agreed, P.T shrugged, "well that's very kind of you… Miss Lind, let me get to the point. I'd like to bring you to New York and if you agree I'll make you the most famous singer, not in Europe, but in the entire world" P.T proposed.

She narrowed her eyes as she hummed in thought, "and have you heard me sing?" She asked directly. Phillip nodded quickly, "absolutely" he answered, "no" P.T replied honestly.

He looked at Phillip who was still in awe of Jenny Lind's presence, "no I haven't, uh but like mine your reputation proceeds you and well I trust your reputation more than my own taste so…" P.T added.

Phillip quickly drained the contents of his champagne flute; the situation was risky and P.T was somewhat reckless.

Jenny Lind smiled, "I've never been to America" she whispered, Phillip held his breath. P.T didn't seem worried at all which may be worrying in itself come to think of it, "you will sing in the grandest theatre with the finest orchestra in the greatest city on Earth" he promised.

He tipped his head to her, "Jenny Lind, one night only, or maybe two" he proposed.

Jenny Lind laughed, "and at 20% of the gate, it'll be a Queen's ransom for your efforts" he continued.

Jenny Lind looked a little offended, "I give most of my earnings to charity Mr Barnum" she said and turned to Phillip, "to orphans and widows".

Phillip knew he had to do something, "voice of a nightingale, heart of an angel" Phillip proposed.

P.T turned back to Phillip, "that's brilliant. I mean the press will go crazy for that story" he marvelled.

"That's not a story, may I ask you something Mr Barnum?" She asked, "anything".

She studied his face sharply, Phillip only wished he had more champagne. He could feel the tension between them rising. For good or for bad, he wasn't quite sure, "why me?" She asked bluntly.

He returned her analytic gaze, "people come to my show for the pleasure of being hoodwinked. Just once I'd love to give them something real" P.T said humbly.

Jenny Lind studied him for a moment mores, their eyes locked as she stared him down until a guard interrupted, "Miss Lind?" He asked.

She smiled and laugh breathily to Phillip and P.T before she followed the guard away from them.

Phillip turned to P.T, "are you crazy?" He hissed, P.T chuckled, "if we can get Jenny Lind to perform under my name, it could do wonders for the circus" he said.

Phillip ran his hand through his hair nervously, "you're insane" he decided, P.T patted his back, "don't you worry about that, I see you looking at Anne. Here take this" he said handing Phillip his champagne and taking Phillip's empty glass.

Phillip thankfully drained the contents, "now go, talk to her" he pushed him in the direction of Anne.

He cleared his throat and straightened his jacket, "right" he muttered under his breath, preparing what he would say to her in his head, "you'll be alright, good luck" P.T said.

He nodded and made his way over to Anne ignoring the cautious way her friends watched him, as if he might bite.

He bowed lowly to Anne, "Miss Wheeler, you look beautiful tonight" he said playfully, she managed a weak smile, but said nothing.

Instead she crossed her arms over her chest, her cape held shut. She glanced past Phillip and watched the high-class members occupying the room, rubbing her arms as she did so.

Phillip stood and frowned, "what's wrong? Are you cold?" He asked, Anne glanced absentmindedly at Phillip and shook her head before she studied the room again.

W.D took a step towards her, shielding her slightly "she's not cold, she's embarrassed" he answered for her.

Phillip frowned, "embarrassed? Why?" He asked. Lettie who shielded Anne from the other side looked at Phillip pointedly, "don't you get it? She's black" she said sharply.

This only confused Phillip further, he didn't understand what they were trying to get at. Anne noticed his puzzled expression and sighed, "I don't belong here. I can feel everyone staring at me, I don't like it. They know it too, I'm too dark to belong her" she muttered unhappily.

Phillip moved in front of her so he blocked her from view slightly but shook his head, "that's ridiculous. You're perfect the way you are and you belong here just as much as any one of these pretentious snobs" he told her

She snorted, "I'm far from perfect, they can tell, that's why they're all looking at me" she said looking nervously around the room.

Phillip unbuttoned his jacket, "would this make you feel better?" He asked, he removed his jacket and draped it around her shoulders.

Despite their similar heights Phillip's jacket was massive on her delicate frame. Nevertheless Anne blushed and pulled the jacket tighter around her shoulders, "thank you, I suppose I do feel a little less visible".

Phillip smiled, "I'm glad I could help" he nodded to her, a footman walked past and offered Phillip another drink. He picked up two glasses offering one to W.D, "here, you look like you could use a drink" Phillip said.

W.D eyed him up warily before he accepted the glass, "don't think this makes us friends" he warned, Phillip chuckled, "of course not, no. Lettie?" He offered her the other glass.

She was less hesitant than W.D, she immediately accepted the drink, "maybe you're not all bad".

Phillip smiled to himself, it would be slow progress but he would eventually win over Anne's friends.

They all thought he was looking for a short night of fun but little did they know Phillip was intending to play the long game, he wasn't going to give up on Anne Wheeler.


	29. Because You're You

After a long night of drinking champagne and mixing with the high ballers most of the oddities and P.T retired to bed for the night leaving Phillip and Anne practically alone in the throne room.

Anne laughed at a joke Phillip had made, he watched her with a smile, "it's nice to see you finally enjoying yourself" he said.

"Yes well now I don't have a bunch of rich white folk glaring at me" she said, Phillip cleared his throat feeling a little uncomfortable. Up until recently he would've been one of the rich white folk, as Anne put it, who'd look down on people of her skin tone simply because he'd thought he was better than them. The more he got to know Anne he realised more and more how wrong he'd been.

"I'm sorry you have to put up with that, it's not fair" he said earnestly, Anne shook her head, "no it's not, but it's nothing I'm not used to. All my life people have looked down on me, they take one look at my skin and decide I'm not worthy of their time. They make snap judgements before they even know me" she sighed.

Phillip drained his champagne then set the glass down, "that isn't right. It doesn't matter what colour you are, you deserve to be happy" he said.

Anne laughed, "well that's an unpopular opinion, but thank you". She noticed Phillip shift ever so slightly closer, "and for what it's worth, I think you're beautiful" he whispered.

She blushed lightly but smiled, "for what it's worth, I think you're beautiful too". She knew he'd had a lot to drink that night and So the chances were he wouldn't remember any of this in the morning.

Maybe that's why she didn't protest when he slowly stepped towards her and cupped her cheek gently, staring deeply into her eyes.

They'd agreed to be friends but Anne didn't want to move away, instead she watched as he began to lean in. She could smell his cologne, the pleasant smell dulling her senses as she closed her eyes and leant in too.

Their lips wer almost touching, almost. When suddenly they were interrupted, "Phillip!" A voice called.

Phillip groaned and pulled away, he looked over his shoulder hoping it wasn't who he thought it was, but of course with his luck he was met with no other than Elizabeth Alexandriana.

He'd met her a few years ago when he was in London for one of his more successful plays, Elizabeth had been at the premiere and had congratulated Phillip himself, telling him how much she'd enjoyed his play.

One thing had lead to another and every time Phillip had been in London since he'd always met up with her for a night of fun, he'd hoped he could avoid her but being the Queen's niece and all, that wasn't easy.

She hugged him from behind, wrapping her hands around his chest and letting her hands linger, "my my, you look so good in that suit" she whispered into his ear.

Anne frowned, who was this girl clinging to Phillip? She was all over him…

Phillip laughed nervously, removing her hands roaming down his chest and slipping out of her grip. He turned and kissed her hand as was the etiquette, he hoped Anne understood, "Elizabeth, it's nice to see you again" he said politely.

Elizabeth ignored Anne as she stepped between them, taking her hand back fanning herself with it, "you've never been one for the pleasantries Phillip, let's not start now" she said with a wink.

Phillip laughed forcedly, he noticed the wary look on Anne's face. He wished he could get rid of Elizabeth but he knew there was no way he could do that without raising Anne's suspicion.

So instead he turned to Anne, "I'm sorry where are my manners, allow me to introduce you. Elizabeth is an old friend of mine, she's the Queen's niece" he explained.

Anne nodded, "I see" she said slowly. He turned back to Elizabeth, "Elizabeth meet Anne Wheeler, Anne meet Elizabeth Alexandriana" he said.

Anne offered Elizabeth a thin lipped smile, "it's nice to meet you" she said stiffly, Elizabeth nodded "likewise" she said dismissively before she turned her attention back to Phillip.

"How about we go back to my room and... Catch up, it's been so long since I last saw you Phillip" she purred, her fingers walking up his chest until she reached his neck where she undid his bow tie.

Phillip cleared his throat, "uh that's sounds nice, but I'm afraid I've already got company" he gestured to Anne. Anne smiled smugly, she couldn't help it. She didn't like the looks of this girl who was all over Phillip, it wasn't jealousy of course, she just didn't like the looks of her.

Elizabeth looked at Anne with disgust, "are you telling me you'd honestly rather stay with this negro?" She asked cruelly. She wrapped her hand around the back of Phillip's neck pulling him closer so she could whisper in his ear, "I've got champagne on ice and a big empty bed" she whispered, nipping his ear softly as she did so.

Phillip shivered at the sensation but he shook his head, he looked at her angrily, "don't talk about her like that, I said no" he said sharply.

Elizabeth took a step closer to Phillip, her hand dropping to the front of his slacks. Anne looked away as Elizabeth shamelessly cupped him through the material, her other hand still lingering on his neck.

She couldn't stand to see some stuck up brat who wouldn't take no as answer groping Phillip in front of her. "Well if you're sure..." she said casually. She palmed him once then turned on her heel, brushing against him as she did so, "you know where to find me" she called over her shoulder then disappeared out of the throne room.

Phillip coughed and held his hands over his crotch, "I'm so sorry about her" he apologised hastily. Anne noticed the way he covered himself, she laughed and shook her head despite the sick feeling in her stomach, "there's no need to apologise we're just friends right? Why don't you go have fun?" Anne suggested.

She hated the way that girl could just touch Phillip and be with him openly, she never had to worry about being judged for she was the perfect pretty rich while girl. She wished she could be able to do that, but she was the one who told Phillip she wanted to be friends so be a friend she would, no matter how badly she wanted to be the one to leave with Phillip tonight.

He frowned, "no, I'm talking to you, that would be rude. Besides she's too snooty for me" he said, Anne shook her head, "it's okay, I know you'd rather be with her right now. Go have fun, I'll see you tomorrow okay?" She insisted.

He kissed her cheek, "thank you, maybe we can go for dinner tomorrow night before we leave again?" He asked, Anne nodded, "sure. Now go, you don't want to keep Miss England waiting" she laughed.

He nodded, laughing slightly before he turned and left in the direction Elizabeth had just disappeared in. Anne watched him leave with a heavy heart, she didn't want to think about what he would be doing whilst she walked back to her room alone.

Touching her, kissing her. She'd come so close to kissing Phillip again only to have Phillip stolen away by Elizabeth, who was not only undeniably beautiful but royalty? Ugh.

Phillip knocked on Elizabeth's door, she opened the door in nothing but a silk robe. Phillip's eyes widened, he swallowed hard, "I knew you'd choose me" she whispered grabbing Phillip's shirt and pulling him in.

She slammed him against the door and pressed her body against her his as she began to kiss his neck. He groaned softly and shook his head, "actually I didn't" he tried to say but it came out more of a moan.

She hummed against his neck, "sure, of course not" she smirked, she dropped her robe and palmed Phillip through his slacks.

He closed his eyes in pleasure, a moan escaping from his lips but he shook his head, "no really" he panted. He couldn't believe he Phillip Carlyle, was turning down a beautiful naked girl.

She narrowed her eyes as she took a step back to look at him, "what do you mean you didn't choose me?" She asked. Phillip look his head and looked away, this would be easier if he didn't look at her.

His body screamed yes but his heart and mind said no, "I came here to tell you we can't ever happen again, I love Anne" he said.

She snorted, "you love that poor black girl?" She asked, her hands roaming his body once again. His knees shook as she palmed him through his slacks, "yes" he said weakly.

She dropped to her knees in front of him, unbuttoning his slacks and rubbing him slowly, "are you sure?" She asked seductively, she took him in her mouth and began to suck.

His head fell back against the door, he took a deep breath before he nodded, "yes" he repeated, although this time it came out more of a moan.

She didn't stop however, his self control was crumbling by the second. Anne may make him want to be a better man but change was difficult and his will was shaking.

He remembered the moment with Anne before Elizabeth interrupted them, how close he had come to kissing her. How he felt her breath hot against her lips. The way she leaned in to kiss him, her eyes closed, her face perfect and wanting. How she smelled of vanilla and a smell so uniquely Anne.

With every ounce of inner strength he could summon Phillip shook his head and pushed her away, "stop, I don't want you" he said loudly.

She stood a frustrated frown on her face, "you're pulling my leg right?" She asked, Phillip looked at her and shook his head, "no, I only want Anne and you're not her" he replied.

She laughed, "I can't believe this, you're choosing her over me? I am Elizabeth Alexandriana, the Queen's niece. I can have you killed you know? I'm royalty" she said.

Phillip shrugged, "I'm sorry Elizabeth, I never thought it would happen either but I'm in love with Anne Wheeler. My days of cheap sex and breaking hearts are over. Have me killed if you wish, but I never want to touch any other girl if it's not her again, I hope you understand".

She shook her head, her face angry now, "no I don't understand, how could you turn me down? I can do things to you that nigger never could never even dream of. Trust me I'll make you see heaven. She's nothing but an ugly disgusting blackie what could she possibly have that I don't" she said heatedly.

Phillip redressed himself quickly, glaring at Elizabeth, "don't you dare speak of her like that" he roared, she seemed completely unfazed. Instead of flinching or backing down she laughed "why not? It's the truth, so go to dirty skinned whore but just know you threw away a diamond for a disgusting black lump of coal".

Phillip shook his head, "you're wrong, Anne is twice the woman you'll ever be. You want to know why I'm choosing Anne? Because I love her, I've never felt anything but lust for you. You are nothing but a night of fun to me, Anne is beautiful and funny and kind and deep and she's the only girl I've ever fallen in love with. So I will go to her but I will not have you speak illy of her because Anne Wheeler is incredible" he said before he turned and left.

He ran the entire way to Anne's room and pounded on her door out of breath, she opened it with a startled expression on her face, "Phillip?" She whispered, "W.D's asleep, what're you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Elizabeth?" She asked.

Phillip shook his head, "no, you're the one I should be with, let's go" he said out of breath before he grabbed her wrist.

She shut the door quickly before she allowed him to drag her down the corridor, "what? Where are we going?" She asked, Phillip didn't look back as he lead her around the corner "the only place that makes sense right now".

He brought her to the study they spent that night together in, he sat at the piano his fingers hovering over the keys before he looked at Anne, "sit, play with me" he said.

Anne laughed, "wait, why are you here? A beautiful girl wanted to sleep with you, why are you here with me?" She asked.

Phillip turned on the piano stool so he faced Anne, "because you're you, now are you joining me or not?" He asked.

Anne smiled and sat next to Phillip, she listened as he began playing a slow gentle song. After a few seconds she joined in, recognising the song as an old love ballad.

She knew it was foolish of her to let herself dream, to let him believe they could have a future together but she decided for one night she'd turn off her brain and just listen to her heart.

For one night and one night only, she would allow herself to be happy and just live in the moment with Phillip. He'd chosen to simply be in her presence rather than have sex with a beautiful rich white girl, maybe there was hope after all.


	30. Lettie Gives Phillip Her Blessing

Phillip was reading in his cabin when there was a loud knock at the door, before he could even put down his book to answer the door it burst open and in stormed Lettie. 

Phillip looked up at her in surprise as she stopped in front of him, "Miss Lutz what can I do for you?" He asked, "we need to talk" she said sternly, her arms crossed over her chest. 

He looked down at his book, "I was just reading th-" he began but Lettie tossed the open book across the room, "my book!" Phillip protested, his hand outstretched after it. 

Lettie shook her head, "forget the book, I need to talk to you" she said critically. He frowned, "what about?" He asked, "Anne" she replied shortly. 

Phillip’s frown deepened, "what about her? Is she okay?" He asked quickly, she rolled her eyes, "she's fine but I want to know more about you" she sat back against Phillip's dresser. 

Phillip swallowed, "okay, well what do you want to know? He asked, she studied him for a moment, "why are you interested in Anne?" She asked. 

Phillip didn’t know how to answer that, in all honesty he wasn’t sure why he was interested in Anne. All he knew is she made him happy, that he felt nervous and excited around Anne, that she made him feel again, that she was by the far the prettiest girl he’d ever met and all he wanted was to be with her regardless of the consequences. 

He furrowed his brow in thought, "I’m going to be honest with you, I don’t know" he said, Lettie nodded thoughtfully, "go on" she urged. 

He shook his head, "I can’t tell you why I’m interested in her, but I know I love her, I’ve never loved a girl before in my entire life but I know I love Anne. I know what you and the others think, I doubt you believe me but I do. See before I met Anne I constantly felt numb, angry or nothing at all. From the second I laid eyes on Anne she made me feel, when I’m around her I feel different. I’m not sure if it’s a good different or a bad different, but just different. I'm filled with nervous energy but she makes me smile, like really smile. I know who I was but I’d never want to hurt her, I just want to make her happy, all the time" he explained. 

Lettie studied him as he spoke, analysing every word, searching for a hint of a lie, "I believe you" she decided, Phillip was surprised by this, "you do?" He asked. 

She hopped off his drawers and walked towards him, "I do but the fact that you turned down a night with the Queen's niece means nothing to me, I want to know more about you. Decide if you’re good enough for Anne, if I decide you’re worthy then you have my blessing". 

Phillip shuffled to the side and gestured to the spot next to him on his bed, "that seems fair, well by all means sit down and fire away, I’ll tell you anything you want to know". 

She sat and thought, "if you were to pursue Anne, what would you want from her?" She asked, "nothing" Phillip answered honestly, "as I told you, all I want is to make her happy. At the moment she wishes to be friends, and I’ll respect that. However if she wanted anything more I’d wish for a relationship with her". 

Lettie frowned and opened her mouth to speak, "yes I know, I know. Phillip Carlyle doesn’t do relationships. Well you’d be right, I wouldn’t normally but how I feel about Anne isn’t normal for me. I don’t fall in love, yet I’ve lay awake every night since I met her, thinking about her. I want nothing more than to be with her, I don’t care she’s black nor that I'm white, if she makes me this happy by just being near me imagine how happy I would be if I was in a relationship with her" he cut her off. 

Lettie laughed, "you’re in love alright" she said, Phillip smiled, "yeah, I think I am". 

"Tell me about yourself Carlyle, what’re your hopes and dreams? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Why did you join the circus? Who is the real Phillip Carlyle?" She asked. 

Phillip chuckled, "wow that’s a lot of questions, let’s see... When I was a kid my big life dream was to make people happy, I guess even though I have strayed from the path a bit deep down that’s still what I want. I’d like to be happy I’m 5 years, until I joined the circus I was miserable, now I’m happier than I used to be. I’d like to still be happy in 5 years, perhaps by then we could be friends. I joined the circus because P.T's promise spoke to me, he convinced me over a drink and promised me freedom and happiness. I hated the life I was trapped in whilst I lived with my mother and father. As for who I am, I’m not sure. I know who I’d like to be, but for who I really am? I really don’t know". 

Lettie leaned forward, "and who do you want to be?" She asked, Phillip took a deep breath considering his answer carefully, "I’d like to be a good, hardworking man. Like P.T, one who is respected by others for doing good things, one who lives a life that makes him happy. A man with lots of friends, maybe a woman like Anne, one who doesn’t rely on drinking for happiness" he said slapping his knees, "but that’s not who I am". 

"Well maybe it could be" Lettie said, Phillip looked at her, "do you think so?" He asked, she sighed and nodded, "I didn’t understand before when Anne would try and convince us you were a different man from the one you see drunk or disorderly in the newspapers but talking to you I get it. You’re honest and I believe you do have good intention, I’ve always been good at being able to tell if someone is lying or not and I believe every word you’ve said". 

Phillip felt moved by her words, "thank you, does this mean I have your blessing?" He asked, she looked away but nodded again, "but know this. Anne is my best friend, I love her more than the world, I know she feels increaudibly deeply about you, but like you she’s never loved before, she’s scared. It’s up to you to reassure her, show her what she means to you and what you’d do for her. You only have one chance Carlyle, if you mess up. If you hurt her, I will make sure your life is a living nightmare. Do not doubt me for a second, I will do anything to protect my friend, she’s gone through too much in her lifetime, more than anyone should ever have had to. Don’t hurt her" she warned. 

Phillip couldn’t help but to grin, "I won’t, and that’s a promise. I’d never want to hurt Anne, I promise you I will do everything I can to make her happy". 

Lettie allowed herself a small smile, "good, now what’s your plan to win her over? What’re you gonna do Carlyle?" She asked, Phillip frowned, "what plan?" He asked. 

She sighed and shook her head, "you need a plan to capture her heart, god men these days. Come on I’ll help you, think" she said. 

Phillip leant against his knees, stroking his hand across his face as he thought. Then he suddenly sprung to his feet, "I’ve got it!" He cried.


	31. W.D Visits Phillip

Lettie found Phillip as the ship docked back in New York and they began their walk back to the theatre, "so tonight's the night" she said, Phillip didn't look at her but continued to stare ahead. He gulped and nodded, "it is"

Lettie grinned, "you nervous?" She asked, Phillip nodded again, "I've never been more so in my life" he replied on an exhale, "you'll be alright, I know Anne feels deeply about you and if you do something like this it'll show her how you really feel" she reassured him calmly.

Phillip glanced at W.D, "it's not Anne I'm so worried about" he muttered, Lettie shook her head, "don't worry about him, I'll deal with W.D, just focus on Anne tonight" she said. 

Phillip looked down at Lettie and smiled, "thank you" he said, she scrunched up her nose and waved her hand nonchalantly, "don't worry about it Carlyle, like you I just want to see Anne happy" she said, "still, it means a lot to me. I really appreciate it, thank you" he said holding his hand over his heart. 

She raised her eyebrow and snorted, "don't get all soft on me now Carlyle" she laughed, Phillip turned a little pink but laughed, "sorry" he apologised. 

* * *

 

Tonight was the night of Jenny Lind's performance, she had travelled back to New York with them and would perform in the very same theatre P.T had met Phillip outside of merely a month ago, how much had changed since then.

Phillip rushed to get dressed resisting the urge to calm his nerves with a swig of the whiskey that sat on his end table. He had spent so long trying to decide which suit he would wear he was running short on time. 

He was supposed to meet P.T at the theatre in 25 minutes before the troupe arrived but he was still dressing. He eventually decided on a smart black pair of slacks with a matching suit jacket lined with golden silk. He wore a crisp white dress shirt and a golden bowtie and no hat. 

He was painfully aware of the time or the lack of it, he winced as he thought of the lecture P.T would give him as he tugged on his pants but he needed to look good as tonight would be the night he showed Anne how much he cared about her publically, proving to both her and her brother he wanted to be with her regardless of the colour of her skin. 

He felt so nervous he could barely button his shirt so when it came to tying his bowtie it was seemingly impossible. His fingers fumbled clumsily and he just couldn't get it right. Phillip had just tried and failed to tie the tie for the fifth time when his doorbell rang. 

Phillip growled in frustration and tugged the tie loose again, he rushed out of his bedroom and into the hallway to open the door assuming it would be P.T wondering where he was. He wasn't expecting W.D Wheeler to be stood on his doorstep already dressed in his brown suit.

Phillip's brows shot up in surprise, "Mr Wheeler" he said, quickly gaining his composure. W.D cleared his throat, "we need to talk" he said echoing the words Lettie had said to him a few days ago. 

When Lettie said it surprised him, when W.D said it however Phillip felt a pang of anxiety in his chest. The man stood several inches taller than him at 6'3 whilst Phillip was only 5'8, he had to look up to look him in the face and W.D was definitely stronger than Phillip. 

Having had a taste of the behemoth's strength Phillip wasn't eager to feel it again but he nodded and stepped aside, "of course, come in" he said with as much confidence as he could muster.

W.D's shoulder brushed against him as he walked past Phillip into his home, Phillip took a deep breath as he shut his front door, locking the two of them alone in his apartment. 

He followed W.D to his living room where W.D turned to face him, "I've spoken to Lettie" he said bluntly, Phillip's stomach dropped. He licked his lips nervously and waited for W.D to continue. 

His eyes bore into Phillip's skull like shards of ice, "I know your plan to win Anne's heart and gain my trust" he added after a short but tense pause, Phillip held his breath, "I see" was all he said. 

W.D didn't move as he watched Phillip critically, Phillip was already nervous but now he began to sweat, he felt like he was being stalked by a predator, W.D was patient and cunning, he would wait until the right moment then he would strike and move in for the kill.

"What do you want with my sister?" He asked, Phillip's mouth felt dry as he opened his mouth to speak, "Mr Wheeler, believe me or don't but I love your sister. All I want is to make her happy, tonight I plan on showing her that I don't care what people think, I just want to be with her" Phillip said a little shakily. 

W.D shook his head, "you don't love her" he said, "who are you to decide? You don't know what I think or feel" Phillip challenged. W.D looked away, shaking his head, "you're white. I don't care what Lettie says, there's no such thing as a white man loving a black girl" he muttered. 

Phillip was scared of W.D but he also was sick of him telling him what he could do, how he was allowed to feel, "you're wrong. I know that I love Anne because I've never felt this way before. It doesn't matter what you say, I love Anne and deep down you know that Anne loves me too. She's just scared but she doesn't need to be, I promise you. I'm not going to hurt her, just give me a chance, tonight I'll prove it. Please, just listen to me" Phillip said hotly. 

W.D looked at Phillip for a second, he was silent as he studied his face then sighed, "I can see you ain't giving up, fine. If you say you love Anne then I will give you _one_ chance and one chance only to prove it, you better treat her right" he said. 

Phillip exhaled in relief, "thank you so much, you won't regret it" he said, he stepped forward offering W.D his hand. W.D looked coldly down at his hand then at Phillip, "I better not because I swear to God. If you _ever_ do _anything_ Anne doesn't want to, _say_ anything Anne doesn't like, make her unhappy in _any_ way I will hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands, do you understand me?" He growled threateningly. 

Phillip gulped and dropped his hand, "yes Sir" he said quickly, W.D stepped back and nodded obviously satisfied. He glanced at Phillip's undone tie, "now hurry up and get dressed, I'm sure Mr Barnum is waiting for you" he said, in a considerably lighter tone. 

Phillip swallowed, forcing a weak smile on his face, "oh, uh I'm a little nervous, I can't get tie this damned thing" he laughed, Phillip noted the look on W.D's face and stopped smiling. 

Phillip flinched when W.D stepped forward hands raised, "allow me, I've got a few more years of experience tying awkward ties" W.D said, Phillip sighed and moved his head back so W.D could fasten the tie around his neck, "oh. Thank you" he murmured. 

W.D stepped back inspecting his work before he nodded, "there. Now at least you can look half decent for my sister" he said, his tone was hard to read but Phillip thought it was possible he was joking. 

Phillip smiled, "thank you" he repeated, W.D nodded, "sort your hair out before you leave" he said before he turned and left. Phillip didn't move, when he heard W.D let himself out and the door click shut he raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath. 

He wasn't sure what to make of that interaction with W.D but he knew he was definitely going to be late if he didn't get going. He rushed to his room to fix his hair, he thought his hair was fine but he was smart enough not to disobey W.D Wheeler and he _did_ want to look good for Anne.  


End file.
